With the whole world of art on the very brink of an Armageddon caused by the glorified plagiarism software that is A.I. I thought I’d lighten the mood a bit and write a review of a thirty-five year old Italian exploitation movie that didn’t need a complicated algorithm to plagiarize a James Cameron movie. It did it manually. Tubi calls it Shocking Dark, which is also the name of the film’s 2018 North American Blu-ray release, but its official and original title in Italy was Terminator II. It was called that because, in typical confusing Italian movie fashion, it was ripping off Aliens. I guess the producers were trying to pull the old switcheroo on us by pretending to have made a crappy pseudo-sequel to one James Cameron film so we wouldn’t notice that they were actually stealing from a completely different James Cameron film. Didn’t work. Anyway, let’s review this particularly nutty turd directed by the legendary Bruno Mattei.
Tag Archives: Terminator
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
So far we’re about ten alternate time lines deep in to the “Terminator” series, a movie franchise that continues to chug on thanks to the good word from James Cameron. Methinks without Cameron, “Terminator” would and should be put to sleep as a limp IP that loses more and more fans every single year. The convoluted timeline doesn’t even want to try to explain its own concept and logic (and lack thereof) anymore. It’s now basically rebooted itself (once again), and takes off limping to the finish line. From a confusing (bold?) retcon, to an over arching theme with heavy social commentary, “Terminator: Dark Fate” incidentally makes an argument against its existence.
The Terminator (1984)
When James Cameron came aboard the “Alien” series, he essentially took what was a dark science fiction horror film and transformed its sequel in to a action packed monster movie. When it came to Cameron’s love child “The Terminator,” Cameron seemed to work in reverse starting his series off as a tale about a robotic monster from the future, and then transformed his premise in to a darker science fiction parable about the imminent apocalypse and the sheer labyrinth that is time travel.
Terminator: Salvation (2009)
Trust me, if I were asked to watch McG’s treatment of the Terminator franchise I wouldn’t turn it down. Is it one of the best the franchise has ever offered? No. In fact it’s one of the lamest simply because it takes every advantage to flex its PG-13 rating and make sure that everyone but the humans suffer a wicked death. In this version every human is given a bloodless death by robots we’re assured are vicious, merciless, and willing to make their victims suffer a long and painful death. All ounce of suffering we’ve seen at the hands of the machines in previous films is bypassed in exchange for interchangeable special effects and ho-hum action sequences.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles – The Complete First Season (2008) (DVD)
Thank goodness for the writer’s strike, because let’s be honest here: Were it not for 80 percent of the series on primetime television going off the air thanks to a bunch of out of work writers, “The Sarah Connor Chronicles” wouldn’t have stood a chance in the ratings. I mean, come on, let’s look at the ingredients: It’s a serialized version of two very popular movies, the third of which has been lambasted by fans worldwide. It stars a barely memorable actor from “Heroes” as young John Connor, a cult actress from a cancelled television series as a cyborg sent to protect him, and an ad campaign that revolves around Lena Headey, a woman who is only popular with fan boys. Not to mention “The Sarah Connor Chronicles” completely forgets the horrific third installment of “The Terminator” series while also leaving a trail of continuity problems and plot holes in its wake.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
After “Terminator 2,” they were able to prevent Judgment Day but John still feels uncertain to his future. Now, a brand new sleek, tough, and advanced killing machine known as T-X has landed on Earth in the form of a seductive woman and is out to kill twenty people who will help with the rebellion. The Terminator lands on Earth as well and must protect John and a new character Kate Brewster a veterinarian who will play a role in the war. Now, they must travel to Skynet and prevent the machines from rising while they clash with T-X. Can they stop the war? Or is it all inevitable?