What with so many horror movies offering up a surprise ending we will not see coming for the last ten years, it’s a given that the lure for “Scream 4” is not so much the surprise ending and the revelation, but the nostalgia. Hallelujah Wes Craven on the way to career hell is finally taking “Scream” seriously again in what promises to be a reboot to please the fans and no one else. The problem with “Scream 4” or “Scre4m” is the inability to be about as entertaining as it possibly can. The only thing worse than a bad horror movie is a boring one and “Scream 4” manages to be boring in about as many wave lengths as possible, delving in to the same old tropes we saw in the original series, and lacking the balls to even off core characters to keep us grinding our teeth and our guards low.
Tag Archives: Thriller
Anneliese: The Exorcist Tapes (2011)
In 2006 when The Asylum’s “Halloween Night” was released, the studio claimed the film about a mental patient that crashes a Halloween party and begins slaughtering the guests, was based on true events because at the time there were reports of a mental patient on the loose and for a moment they were sure the patient snuck in to the party only to be assured he wasn’t. That’s their reasoning for calling something a true event, so I expect the same amount of circular logic and convoluted reasoning from Asylum’s spin doctors for proclaiming “Anneliese: The Exorcist Tapes” completely and one hundred percent true in footage when it becomes painfully apparent from the opening that not only is the film one hundred percent staged, but about as poorly acted as any other Asylum farce to boot.
Force of Five (5 huajai hero) (2009)
When I was a kid I was introduced to a plethora of fighting kids movies, all of which featured children who could very well either kick the crap out of me, or kick the crap out of someone for me. I always marveled at the talent and display seen in films like “3 Ninjas” and it’s nice to know with a certain movie about a karate kid starring Will Smith 2.0 getting all the hype, we can marvel at true talent like the variety displayed in “Power Kids.” The Thai martial arts film from Krissanapong Rachata barely clocks in at seventy minutes and possesses about two fold the raw talent displayed in the previously mentioned stink fest. Kroo Lek and his family of orphans are a proud clan, people who earn their keep and train each other in the fine art of Thai Boxing.
Hobo With a Shotgun (2011)
Jason Eisener’s “Hobo with a Shotgun” was such a long time coming it’s ridiculous. With a movie that’s dared to defy all expectations, it’s very much a twisted balance between Troma and pure unadulterated Grindhouse madness that has the potential to reach mainstream audiences with a wider theatrical release. With “Grindhouse” flopping, and “Machete” floundering at the box office, “Hobo with a Shotgun” is a breath of fresh air, a movie so utterly filled with mind-blowing grindhouse tropes and a genuinely interesting story that you can almost feel the piss stained theater floor under your feet, while watching what essentially adds up to being a tongue in cheek and darkly disturbing take on the class warfare in America. This is Jason Eisener’s America, a world where the battle of rich and poor amounts to trips in to Scumtown USA where we lay our scene.
Transporter 3 (2008)
Frank Martin is back and is in deep doo doo for the third go around in the “Transporter” series. Now retired and taking a long needed vacation, fate comes crashing down his doors as he’s confronted with a colleague who is killed in the middle of what was supposed to be his job all along. When Frank is taken off guard he awakens to learn that he and his car can not be separated or else he and the enigmatic women in his co-pilot seat will go up in a burst of flames. “The Transporter” series has been one of my favorite knock offs of “The Driver” this millennium and Jason Statham is a wonderful successor to Ryan O’Neal as this man with tones of gray allowed more breathing room this go around.
S.W.A.T.: Firefight (2011)
By now it’s a pretty quick assumption that we may never get a truly great movie about “SWAT” the television show. What was a gritty violent and often disturbing show about life on the business as a SWAT officer became a pretty high budget and meek blockbuster vehicle for a cast of B listers who were more GI Joe and less “Heat.” Now with “Firefight” the studio behind this star-less vehicle ups the ante by pretty much assuring we’ll never see a reboot ever again with a competent cast. Which is not to say “Firefight” is a bad movie. It’s not. In fact it’s a very well made and steadily paced “sequel” that takes every precaution to do what it can with the cast of D listers who take up spots that once belonged to up and comers like Colin Farrell and Jeremy Renner and veterans like Samuel L. Jackson.
Ninja Assassin (2009)
While I appreciate the inherent ambition behind the script written by Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski, any and all potential for absolute entertainment is wasted in the first fifteen minutes. Folks looking for a splatterific ninja quest will find the prologue to be one of the most grotesque and twisted openings to a ninja film. And then it goes downhill from there. It seems like the writers just aren’t happy enough with exploring the quest of ninja Raizo, but they instead want to focus on back story after meaningless back story.