So we have the season finale, finally. Excuse the inadvertent pun. With a season of highs and lows, good and bad, and hits and misses, “Masters of Horror” season one comes to an end. With a period piece concerning death and the living dead. Sure, to some it may seem like yet another retread, and in many respects it was, but as a standalone, I really liked this episode, and because it involves zombies, and has the great Gregory Nicotero, you know you’re about to see some wicked zombie make-up effects. Haeckel is a young doctor who seeks to discover the mysteries of the necromancers, their necromancing, and the voodoo that they do so he can use it for his current scientific project of re-animating dead corpses, but he finds he’s gone too deep when he is taken in by a couple one night and discovers the wife holds a mystery.
Tag Archives: Thriller
Seed of Chucky (2004)
When can you tell that a horror franchise has run out of steam? When it begins spoofing itself. Much like “Scream”, much like “Halloween”, and, yes, much like my beloved “Friday the 13th” series. It’s safe to say that once a series has resorted to spoofing itself from the very beginning, you know its run out of ideas, and you just know its writers aren’t even trying, anymore. Mancini’s newest spin-off of the “Child’s Play” franchise is yet another sequel that takes every chance in saying “We’re stupid, and we know we’re stupid, so look how not stupid we are by pointing out how stupid this story is.”
Masters of Horror: Pick Me Up
“Pick me Up” prides itself in being both morbid and pleasingly twisted. As if the concept of open roads and total strangers wasn’t uneasy enough, the fact that the writer pinpoints that there can also be psychotic truckers and psychotic hitchhikers works with a great effect. The ego war between both Walker and Wheeler is fascinating to watch as they have almost a competition killing people they come across and taking immense interest in their methods. And then there’s Fairuza Balk. Normally, I’m not one who thinks she’s sexy, but surprisingly, here, watching her walk around in a towel was sexy. She’s unnecessary, but she’s good here.
H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds (2005)
No, this is not that movie with that religious maniac, the screaming girl, and the psychotic liberal they meet in a basement, this is that other more low-budget remake of the H.G. Wells’ classic, and much like everything these days, these brilliant authors are added to the front of these titles to instill a sense of credibility. Little do these studios know that these authors would consider these films abominations, because they are. Like every bad movie, I watch with the hope–and some would say naiveté–that these movies won’t be as bad as I’ve heard, yet I’m always wrong. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel to pick flaws from a film that has a relatively low budget, but could they have squeezed out a logical, coherent story in the process? Even Pal was able to give a great story along with–what is considered today–ancient special effects.
The Fog (2005)
I consider myself a very mature man who knows how to restrain himself in terms of disagreeing with people. But to the people who found this to be a remotely good film, I must ask: Are you stupid or something? Is this what you define as entertainment? But, I digress. My apologies. With basically the same plot, we delve in the San Antonio Bay/Island where they’re preparing for their ceremony to pay respect to the town’s founders. Fog rolls in. People die. Ghosts return mighty pissed off. And the shit hits the fan. By shit, I mean this film. Who thought this remake would be a good idea? Not the concept of remaking it, but this script? I’ve never seen such sloppy writing before in my life. I can safely say, I can squeeze out a better version out of my ass, without hesitation, but hey, we’re not all working for Hollywood. So, what do the writers force feed through this manufactured screenplay?
Masters of Horror: Fair Haired Child
A young unpopular girl from Connecticut named Tara is run over one day after school and awakes to find herself being held hostage by a couple. She’s thrown in to their basement and discovers a young boy hanging from a rope. She saves him and now the two hostages must find a way to get out of the basement before the monster awakens and eats them both. I’m not a fan of Petty basically because she always plays the same character in every movie, but here she’s really good and provides a truly creepy performance as the menacing Judith who seeks to keep Tara locked up as long as it takes. Petty is at her most threatening looking like a vampiric Kathy Bates running the show and waiting for Tara to be killed. “Fair Haired Child” is a dread-filled installment with true suspense and mystery and the eventual surprise of what lies in the basement without her knowledge.
Hostel (2005)
“Hi! I’m Eli Roth, I’m that film school reject people like Quentem Tarantino and Takaki Miike are saying is a genius! I make moving pictures, moving pictures that really suck, but see people don’t know that, because I just pass it off as art, and then my mentor pats my head, critics praise me, complacent horror fans worship me, and I disappear in to my house.” There were two movies that came out in 2005, two similar attempted nihilistic horror entries that were both very gory, very unique, and made at the displeasure of the MPAA, and both struck chords with horror fans. Except this one.