Maybe it’s because I expected junk, but I didn’t hate “Man of the House.” Sure, it’s typical, and routine, and bubbly, and that should equal a bad review, but I didn’t have a miserable time. I admittedly had fun, because “Man of the House” in spite of its many faults, was a fun movie. It’s like a carnival ride, fun and then forgotten. And it helps that the film has some really sexy girls in it. Five. You can make the argument that I liked this because of the girls, and you’d be partially right, but I also had fun thanks to Tommy Lee Jones, who lends the film a really welcome comedic bent.
Tag Archives: Thriller
House of the Dead 2: Dead Aim (2005)
So, you’re likely asking, why in the name of tap-dancing Jesus would anyone even think about creating a sequel to one of the worst movies ever made. Well–your guess is really as good as mine. Make an assortment of guesses. Because I have no flipping clue. Anyway, literally about fifteen minutes in to my notes, I’m watching, and hoping, and then I see the zombies whom have green teeth, and bad white skin. Their teeth is neon green by the way, and their skin makes them look like mimes. And then I put one star without a doubt next to the title. Sometimes I’ll end up changing it, but usually the grade I give a film stays permanent and I didn’t have to worry about changing it during the course of this wretched sequel. It’s a bad movie. Really bad. Not Uwe Boll bad, that I can attest to, but it’s bad. And there’s still no fucking house.
Underworld: Evolution (2006)
In spite of its many, many failings and flaws, I liked “Underworld”. It’s no masterpiece, it’s not even that good, yet it’s still a pretty fun movie that’s mindless without being dumb. I like to describe it as “Matrix” meets horror, meets Abercrombie and Fitch. Sadly, the lore presented in the (now) “Underworld” franchise is still skewed and poor, but it sure is pretty fun. “Underworld: Evolution” is, I’m ashamed to admit, a step up from the previous installment. And it’s much edgier than the first film with more blood, and gore, and some very sexually suggestive material.
Dark Water (2005): Unrated
I must say I don’t know what I was expecting from “Dark Water” ultimately. I know it wasn’t supposed to be horror, I know it’s technically not horror at all, but it was marketed as such, and thankfully not a lot of audiences fell for it. I know it’s a remake I’ve yet to see as well. Now, with “Dark Water” I was surprised that I liked it. I didn’t love it, and it’s far from perfect, but there were certain, or many aspects within its story and characterization that just clicked with me. It’s a pretty heartbreaking supernatural drama that really examines not only the bond between a mother and a daughter, but how easily children can fall through the cracks in adults own self-centered pursuits and problems.
Ultimate Avengers: The Movie (2006)
Now that Lion’s Gate has teamed with Marvel Comics, we’re going to begin to see a lot of straight to video animated features that take off from Marvel’s flagship characters, and the first one out of the ballpark is “Ultimate Avengers”. Now, I never had the chance to read the “Ultimate Avengers” series, but I hear it’s pretty damn good. But from what I’ve seen in magazines from the previews, “Ultimate Avengers” the comic is transferred from page to screen. And what sets this apart from the average Marvel mythos is that it’s basically a new twist on the lore. Nick Fury is black, Hulk is more of an antagonist, Thor is a vain warrior, Cap is discovered by S.H.I.E.L.D. and not Namor, and we’re presented with a more jaded misanthropic scope of superheroes ala the usual zeitgeist of the modern age, though really it’s just the xenophobia that’s become representative of Marvel as a whole. That’s not an insult, but it’s not a compliment either.
The Cave (2005)
Apparently, the hype from “The Cave” and the proceeding negative reviews for it really were up to par with what the film had to offer. As always, in spite of bad reviews, I put up hope that “The Cave” would turn out to be a fun, exciting, tense film, but I was proven wrong again. And let me tell you, after “The Descent” this is nothing but child’s play, a recreation in spite of coming out almost at the same time as Marshall’s horror fest.
Sophie Scholl: The Final Days (Sophie Scholl – Die letzten Tage) (2005)
In 1943, German teens Sophie and Hans Scholl, and Christoph Probst along with many others, were convicted of crimes against their country during the end of the second world war. Sophie, Hans, and Christoph were convicted and executed after being caught distributing leaflets and pamphlets speaking out against Hitler and his army. What’s depicted in “Sophie Scholl” is the utterly heroic and courageous war fought by these three people to survive and send out their messages of impending defeat to the Nazi’s. “Sophie Scholl” is a brilliant and utterly magnificent exploration not only in to the battle of these freedom fighters, but also an insightful glance at the last breath of the Nazi regime. I insist I’ve yet to see an awful depiction of the holocaust, and I stand by it. “Sophie Scholl” can be added to that list as one of the best depictions of Nazi wrath, and defiance ever made. It’s a masterpiece, pure and simple.