My Little Eye (2002)

mylittleeye

While the whole people on a reality show having the tables turned concept is recycled by now, “My Little Eye” has managed to master such a concept with a brilliant horror thriller that is just undeniably engrossing from start to finish. From the opening credits, we can already see the director playing games with the audience by filming the entire scroll of the Universal logo and the entire film in general in digital form resembling a web cast. We never once, throughout the entire movie, see a shot filmed with an actual movie camera, yet instead look only through the eyes of the cameras watching this group of people. Essentially, “My Little Eye” borders on the routine; different people brought together, they clash, there are your bumps and creaks, but eventually, as the movie goes on, it becomes increasingly intelligent in its searing undertones and social commentary.

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Catwoman (2004)

catwoman-2004Funny thing about bad movies. They can reflect either the utter refusal to be resourceful from a filmmaker, or they can mirror the utter vanity of its makers. Such is the case of “Catwoman” a film touted as a bonafide hit before we saw the true horror. Bad movies with large budgets, and big stars ensuring a hit regardless of pre-conceived notions and even ensuring a good film after the general reservations from looking at the monstrosity that is the Catwoman costume. Films like these, from the standpoint of a movie-goer, and a comic book fan make me blood thirsty, and I revel in bringing out the claws (Pun not intended) and knocking it down a notch. There is NOTHING redeeming about this film, there’s nothing here that I can point out was a mild positive aspect. This is a film that screams sheer vanity from its star and filmmaker, and is truly thirty minutes longer than it has the right to be.

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The Stepford Wives (2004)

No seriously, is this a real movie? No seriously. And studios wonder why they’re in a state of decline. Now, I’ve never seen the original “Stepford Wives”, which I recall was more of a grim statement about feminism, but I can easily imagine that it was ten times better than this, as is always the case. So, as if there weren’t enough male bashing in this militant neo-feminist, politically correct age where men are inbred, dumb, fat monsters, and women are smart, beautiful, flawless beings, we get this ridiculous remake. Ridiculous is just me holding my tongue, mind you, because what I really want to call it, would offend even Lenny Bruce. In a nut shell, this is further male bashing about a male bashing society  seeking revenge by male bashing those who are tired of being relegated to subservient positions.

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Vlad (2003)

vlad-movie-2003Imagine “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” mixed with “The Davinci Code”, imagine “Interview with the Vampire” sans the homosexual overtones, imagine “Dracula”, mixed with two Benadryl, a shot of whiskey, and a knock on the head, and you can perfectly sum up what “Vlad” is. This poor man’s “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” that becomes more of a quasi-“The Vlad Code” is a snoozer and a half, as a bunch of people try to dissect the legend of Vlad Tepes, but what sounds like a taut analyses of the legend of a war monger inevitably becomes a murky, utterly mindless, superficial quasi-thriller with people talking a lot and not saying much, characters interacting without chemistry, a lot of discovering Romanian villages without ever involving the audience, and a lot of characters walking around the forest without getting anywhere… and Billy Zane shows up at one point.

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A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)

I’m not sure what warranted the comparison, but “A Tale of Two Sisters” ultimately reminded me very much of “Hide and Seek”, the recent horror dud I had the misfortune of watching. Both films are very much similar in tone, theme, and concept, but make no mistake, they are not the same. In spite of its excellent cover, this isn’t entirely a horror film per se. This is more, in the sense, a supernatural drama that really manages to pinpoint the underlying themes of psychological trauma and childhood pain that, regardless of how much we try, can not ever come to grips with while telling one damn fine story. Such is the situation with this utterly beautiful masterpiece that paints itself as horror, but really ends up becoming an allegory for something completely different.

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Ong Bak: Thai Fighter (2003)

I’m not sure why I took as long as I did watching “Ong Bak”. Perhaps it was because I’ve seen so many really bad martial arts films since I was a child, but when I was done with “Ong Bak”, I was just utterly blown away. “Ong Bak” knocked my socks off, and I was cursing myself for not seeing it sooner. “Ong Bak” marks the American premiere of Tony Jaa, a man whose physical talents are just astounding. But be warned “Ong Bak” is not a film based heavily on story, it’s mainly just there for the utterly amazing fight scenes. Fight scenes that are not only some of the most amazing action sequences I’ve ever seen in an action film, but also have some great choreography.

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Paparazzi (2004)

Paparazzi_1266389779_2004I was looking forward to “Paparazzi”, I really was, I mean Cole Hauser is a cool mofo, and I was glad that he’d finally been given a vehicle of his own for once. But when I was done, I was disappointed, and pretty damn pissed that this was such a piece of crap. I mean, how can anyone with half a brain buy in to this nonsense? Mel Gibson’s Hairstylist directs this faux-actioner that serves up more of a message, but to whom? What’s the message here? From its mere facade of a crappy actioner, it also attempts to become a nonsensical message about poor celebrities, and from its dumb plot it attempts to pass of commentary, problem is it isn’t smart enough to pull off that sort of commentary, especially commentary no really intelligent person gives a shit about.

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