Monthly Archives: February 2016

Southbound (2016)

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I am loving the resurgence of the horror anthology and how horror filmmakers are playing with the format. “Southbound” is very much a new horror anthology that holds no title cards or segues, but instead features five stories that intersect in some way or another. It’s almost like “Pulp Fiction,” but just not as brilliant. in fact, in the end, it’s really a mixed bag of horror tales that are held up by a genuine sense of terror and unease that seeps through the film from beginning to the end. Even when I wasn’t completely invested in a tale, I appreciated the unnerving aesthetic set amid the endless and desolate back roads of America.

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Galaxis (1995)

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I consider Brigitte Nielsen to be one of the sexiest women to ever grace the big screen in the eighties. She’s a bomb shell and in her heyday was a pure sexual force that I worshiped in films like “Red Sonja.” I won’t argue that her skills as an actress, but at her prime she was insanely sexy. So with that said, I can’t stress how boring a film has to be for me to doze off during a movie starring Nielsen. “Galaxis” is a bland and soulless science fiction epic that garners all of the tropes of the genre that were tired by the early nineties and are even more worn by 1995. I’m frankly shocked there wasn’t an opening scroll setting the stage for the film like “Star Wars,” but writer Nick Davis thankfully dodges that stale gimmick and jumps right in to a massive conflict we can’t enjoy because it’s not the central focus of the movie.

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Superhero Movie (2008)

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“Superhero Movie” is a comedy that’s remained off the radar for a long time since its release, and that’s a good thing. As a comedy it’s a pretty solid spoof of the “Spider-Man” movies, mocking the inherent silliness and idiocy of the Sam Raimi movies. And ironically enough it manages to be a much more creative and coherent superhero picture than “Spider-Man 3” ever hoped to be. I don’t disagree that the movie is a mixed bag of humor that tackles the superhero movie craze, as well as old hat superhero tropes, but it’s succeeds as an entertaining novelty and a respectable guilty pleasure.

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You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost): A Memoir [Kindle]

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I’ve made it no secret about loving Felicia Day in the past. And I’m more than proud admitting that I’d give away my entire Superman comic book collection for a date with Felicia Day (Sorry, Kal El, Amazonians before Kryptonians), so buying a memoir about Felicia Day’s life, and rise to fame was an easy sell for yours truly. Felicia Day, for the uninitiated is a very prominent character actress and web celebrity who has appeared in shows like “Supernatural” and “Eureka” and gained acclaim in the early aughts for her web show “The Guild,” one of the earliest web shows to every premiere online. Since then she’s been a consummate web celebrity and red haired geek Goddess, and she finally lets fans see a new side of her beyond the cameras, and convention booths. After consuming every page of “You’re Never Weird…,” I admire Ms. Day so much more now than ever.

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The Shutterbug Man (2015)

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Man is “The Shutterbug Man” amazing. The only complaint I can lobby toward it is that it feels more like a prologue to a feature length horror film than an actual short, but i hope director Christopher Walsh turns this idea in to a horror movie somewhere down the line. Told in brilliant and haunting Stop Motion. the legendary Barbara Steele narrates the tale of “The Shutterbug Man.” With simplistic albeit immensely effective and haunting stop motion, Christopher Walsh tells us the tale of the Shutterbug Man, a local who spent his time taking pictures. He could only really take pictures of horrific sights and suffering as it granted him a sick pleasure.

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Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 1, Planet of the Dino-Knights (1995)

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Watching “Josh Kirby” is like watching a lost series from the Action Pack stunt from television in 1995, where you almost expect it to air alongside “Hercules.” in truth, the series of six films unfolds like one short kids television adventure series, and even for a movie aimed at kids, it’s hard to catch up. There’s so much about this universe, that the movie opens with a five minute montage of scenes from the movie that’s somehow meant to keep us up to speed with what we haven’t seen yet. Really, it feels like filler and an odd place to place such a device when it’d be suited more appropriately for the second part of the film series.

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Dead Sharks (2015)

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Nic Barker’s short film is an idea that could have easily translated in to a compelling romance drama. Barker practices the idea of mumblecore and it works beautifully to convey a foursome of relationships that have either reach their expiration date, or are about to very soon. “Dead Sharks” is more of an ensemble drama based around the Woody Allen quote about how relationships have to move forward like sharks or they die. These relationships are attempting to move forward, but it doesn’t take a genius to see they’re dead.

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