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Art by Basil Murad.

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Cruising (1980) [LA&M Film Fetish Forum]

No other director was able to evoke such feelings of relentless doom and darkness like William Friedkin. “Cruising” is a bold movie from a director that no other studio would touch in this day and age. It’s a movie from a time that’s pretty ancient but also very relevant in modern times. Friedkin squares his lens on the unending darkness and bleak landscape that is New York City, side stepping any and all gloss in favor of unflinching realism. There’s so much to this New York City that’s still so familiar from seedy undergrounds, sub cultures, corrupt police, and a hopelessly broken justice system.

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Ranking “The Conjuring” Universe From Best to Worst

I’m a big fan of James Wan’s “The Conjuring” movie universe as it’s one of the most effective, fascinating, and scary library of horror movies ever produced. While the legacy of Ed and Lorraine Warren is infamous, the fictional Ed and Lorraine Warren are great cinematic horror heroes, and they’ve been the center of one of the more diverse horror movie series to come along in a while. What with “The Nun 2” coming to theaters this week, I ranked the whole “The Conjuring” movie universe from the best to the worst.

Let me know how you’d rank the movies in the comments!

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The Last Voyage of The Demeter (2023)

It’s pretty good to see at least one studio investing in transforming vampires in to relentless monsters once again after so many years where vampires have been watered down and overly fetishized. The vampires in André Øvredal’s interpretation of “The Last Voyage of The Demeter” as well as—well—Dracula in general, are not empathetic, alluring figures. They’re blank, cold and vicious monsters controlled by Dracula who is reduced to his most primal state for this re-visiting of one of the most haunting chapters in Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

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Tetris (2023)

That’s the thing about this trend with movies based around telling the story of these milestone products: We either get a movie that should just cut the middle man and be a documentary (“Air”), or we get something so completely sensationalized/fabricated that it’s not even really worth watching anymore (“Flamin’ Hot”). With director Jon S. Baird’s “Tetris” I tuned in to see a movie about the creation and acquisition of the iconic video game. Instead what I got was a pretty vanilla espionage thriller about the KGB, spies, terrorists, politics, and warring companies fighting over contracts and whatnot. Exciting…

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Fck’n Nuts (2022)

Director Sam Fox’s short horror comedy is a great commentary about growing up with a family that’s insane or just weird. For many of us growing up around parents and or family that are just mental in their own ways can be terrifying. It can especially be terrifying if you’re looking for friends or a potential romantic partner. Director and writer Sam Fox’s “Fck’n Nuts” is a great horror twist and excellent metaphor on having a nutty family. Fox’s short is obviously something of a sense of therapy in where much of “Fck’n Nuts” confronts the terror of trying to assimilate someone new in to such a crazy family.

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You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah (2023)

I imagine one day one of Adam Sandler’s daughters was having a birthday, and they mentioned something about wanting to be in the movies. Seeing as how Sandler is that kind of guy, he cracked and gave his daughters their very own movie. I’m assuming he also promised them a career too, like the Apatows. It’s sad that in a year where we were given “Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret.,” Sandler offers up his own version of the coming of age teen tale, except with major discrepancies.

“Are you There God? It’s Me Margaret.” was about a lower middle class teen girl trying to find her place in the world. “You Are So Not Invited…” is about an affluent upper class teen trying to—create the perfect bat mitzvah. Because heaven forbid she goes to high school with less than four friends.

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