Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History Of Friday The 13th (Blu-ray + DVD Combo)

Posted on October 2, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

The team of 1428 Films is at it again, and this time they’re giving Jason Voorhees, the man behind the mask, his due. If folks loved “Never Sleep Again” and it’s extended run time, you’ll be glad to find out that “Crystal Lake Memories” is an exhaustive and lengthy documentary running almost seven hours. This allows for funny, wry, and honest looks in to every single installment of the series. Including the remake. With narration by series star Corey Feldman, “Crystal Lake Memories” traces the series back to when “Friday the 13th” began life as a low budget production at half a million dollars. Thanks to the introduction of Wes Craven’s “Last House on the Left” along with John Carpenter’s iconic “Halloween,” the creators set out to make their own mark with a holiday themed horror film.

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Saturday the 14th (2013)

Posted on October 1, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

What does your average run of the mill slasher do on his time off? Eventually your hockey masked slasher has to unwind and recharge right? Kristjan Lyngmo’s short animated film is rather genius, in that it not only features a hockey masked slasher, but one of a lineage of hockey masked slashers who divides his time between murdering hapless campers and coming home to deal with everyday problems.

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Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Posted on October 1, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

It’s Jason vs. the eighties version of Carrie White. Because… why the hell not, right? At this point the Paramount series had just about run out of ideas for characters. Tommy Jarvis imprisoned Jason in his underwater chamber doomed to float for all eternity, and there was really nowhere left to go from here. It’s almost like the ending of “H20.” Laurie Strode chopped Michael’s head off. The end! But is it? Yeah, it is. Oh really? No. No it’s not. Aw hell, let’s squeeze another sequel out of our corn holes! I need a new Porsche!

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Dead Before Dawn 3D (2012)

Posted on October 1, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

Watching “Dead Before Dawn” try to be funny is like going in to a third rate haunted house in the sticks on Halloween. It’s nice you’re trying really hard, but you really aren’t doing what you intend to. “Dead Before Dawn” tries to be many things, and one of them is a comedy. While it did elicit genuine laughs from me sporadically it manages to miss more than it hits. In fact by the end, the joke went on almost way too long. I was pretty relieved it ended or else I was afraid I’d begin to hate it.

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The Little Mermaid (1989)

Posted on September 30, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

Though it’s often thought of as the film that helped revive the animated film boom from Disney in the nineties, predating a string of hit films from the studio, “The Little Mermaid” is much like “Bambi.” It has amazing animation, and a wonderful soundtrack, but in the narrative frame, it’s unspectacular. While the former film garnered a nearly non-existent storyline with a simple resolution stretched in to ninety minutes, “The Little Mermaid” has almost nothing in the way of reasoning or logic for its heroine’s motives toward happiness.

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The Dungeonmaster (1985)

Posted on September 27, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

I knew it! All the time, I knew it! If Satan had to exist, he was Richard Moll the whole time. No one would ever suspect the guy from “Night Court.” Satan–correction: Mestema, is smart enough to build a world and challenge a computer whiz, but isn’t smart enough to understand the “magic machines” known as computers (such foreign tongue!). So in response, he challenges a dorky computer nerd whose over reliance on a female computer borders on creepy, to a series of trials. If the computer nerd wins the matches, I’m assuming he keeps his soul. If he loses just one trial, Satan is allowed to consume him and his aerobics instructor girlfriend Gwen. Paul the computer nerd is given a costume even Reb Brown would laugh at, and with his arm band, is allowed to fight and figures out how to control the computer hell dimension place. Whatever the hell that is.

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National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978)

Posted on September 27, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

Before the millions of utterly atrocious rip-offs, there was the first, there was the only, there was the grand daddy of college campus comedies, there was “Animal House” Set in 1962, John Landis’ comedy masterpiece tells the tale of two new college recruits attempting to pledge to an elite fraternity. They’re basically cast aside from the elitist frat house, so they must now pledge to the worst frat on college, the Delta House to which they’re instantly accepted amidst the dysfunctional and odd array of members. But when they cause a ruckus and fail to live up the school’s academic standards, the dictatorial Dean Wormer decides to close down the house once and for all.

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