Before you write this off, I have two words for you: Jaleel White. Now calm down, before you start jumping up and down screaming in excitement, he’s about the only draw here. If you were around in the nineties. And liked “Family Matters.” And remember who Jaleel White is. No he didn’t play Carlton in “Fresh Prince.” In either case, The Asylum is not intent on implementing brevity for the sake of catching on with their fan base. To prove how unnecessarily lengthy the title is I can still fondly remember showing my dad the DVD and him smiling at the premise of the movie. Twenty minutes later, this man who is known for having a mind like a steel trap and over the course of an hour continued mixing up the title.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Shutter Island (2010)
“Which would be worse, to live as a monster or to die as a good man?”
When I was finished with “Shutter Island,” I understood what director Martin Scorsese was pushing for in the area of a dark and complex journey of a man in to the bowels of a mysterious island. I understood that deep down Scorsese had an ambitious and admirable hunger to bring to us a modern “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari,” but ultimately, his efforts fail to bring a work of art that’s grandiose but low key in its effort to make a commentary about the human soul and the psyche. While the character of Teddy Daniels ends up becoming a truly tragic and complex individual, the caveat with “Shutter Island” is that everything surrounding the character of Daniels ends up becoming rather lackluster and limp. Especially when the surprise twist is given away so easily in the original trailers.
I Love You, Man (2009)
“Why does everything I do sound like a leprechaun?”
Many films since the rise of Judd Apatow have claimed to be a bromance. Particularly “Superbad.” A bromance of course being a film about the close relationship between men that involves some degree of deep love without progressing in to homosexual activity. But “I Love You Man” may just be the first true bromance that has a central plot based around the deep friendship and admiration of two men while the romance of the main character is something of a secondary element. “I Love You Man” is in its truest form a romantic comedy about two heterosexual men who realize that they love one another.
Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work (2010)
For the past twenty years Joan Rivers, once a notable female comedian, went from telling jokes to becoming a walking joke. And though she has always been convinced the audience was laughing with her, she’s been wholly unaware that the public is actually laughing at her. In spite of the obvious fact that Rivers long lost her comedic power after her stint on the Tonight Show, she’s gone from a legend to an absolute shell of a woman whose entire career has relied on gaining work more than garnering work of respectability. Whether it’s judging celebrities’ fashion and weight on a premium cable channel, appearing on reality shows for no apparent reason, or continuing her saggy dated comedy routine, River is indeed what the film proclaims her. She’s a real piece of work. And not one who is bound to become a female role model any time soon.
The Last Airbender (2010)
As big a fan as I am, and continue to be of M. Night Shyamalan, the one tragic fact of “The Last Airbender” is that there just isn’t a need for it. The original television series is about two or three years after its series finale, the series lasted about four or five seasons, it still plays in syndication, and there is a new story waiting in the wings. Fans of “Avatar” are in no short supply of their Airbender fix, so Shyamalan’s adaptation of the show isn’t all too necessary, nor was it wanted. So instantly the cards are stacked against him. Yours truly being a hardcore fan of the animated series (frankly, it’s one of the finest and most entertaining shows of the last decade), I was anxious to see what Shyamalan would do to “The Last Airbender,” and I wasn’t all too disappointed with what turned up on the screen.
Devil (2010)
The devil is fiction’s greatest anti-heroes. A being of pure brute calculated force, the devil has many names, and many appearances and is without a doubt the most interesting figure in all of history, an individual whose sole purpose is personal gain and pure unbridled joy in making humanity suffer. But in all of its incarnations, the devil is also someone who has something of a moral code, and a guideline, and always has something to say about the disgusting bile of the human sole. The devil is the very reflection of ourselves, and the character always has something to teach us. Even before destroying us from the inside out barely flinching at our cries for help and mercy.
Dolla Morte (2006)
I’m sure at some point either “director” Bill Zebub or one of his friends were sitting down to watch “Robot Chicken” or “Team America: World Police” for the fiftieth time in a month quoting “Matt Damon!” over and over, and someone suggested “director” Bill Zebub create his own doll movie! Yay! After the rancid putrid junk that was “Breaking her Will” and the rancider putrid junk that was “Dirt Bags” I really was not expecting much from “director” Bill Zebub. “Dolla Morte” really wouldn’t be such a bad film if Bill Zebub had any idea was pacing is. There are overlong scenes of dolls engaging in dialogue, and rape scenes, and there’s even a five minute warning to the audience about Zebub’s intention toward the film. Why are they so determined to let us know his intentions for this piece of garbage? What does it matter? Shouldn’t he let the trash speak for itself?