For what it’s worth, Reininghaus is a very competent director with visual flourishes and grim depictions of torture that were both very unsettling and impossible to sit through. I found myself having to pause the film through most of the sequences as the cast just charges head first in to the horror that ensues with screaming and a vicious strangulation and raping. As for the cast, they’re very good with folks like Danielle Barker and Robert Nolan pulling in strong performances and convincing reactions to what should be a utterly horrifying little situation.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Black Dynamite (2009)
Pointless exposition, redundant dialogue, hammy acting, racial paranoia, cartoonish action scenes, continuity problems, absurd sub-plots that go absolutely nowhere, if you’ve ever seen blaxploitation films before, you’ll realize that Scott Sanders “Black Dynamite” is a pretty brilliant satire of the grindhouse sub-genre that managed to influence dozens of filmmakers and actors across the board. While the Wayans brothers paid tribute to the genre in “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka,” director Scott Sanders manages to rise above their level providing a both a spoof, satire, and loving tribute to the sub-genre that takes every single device from the sub-genre that we love and hate and throws it in to a story that’s about as ridiculous as most of the blaxploitation films from the seventies. As most comedy should be, Sanders and Jai White don’t play this spoof with a wacky atmosphere.
Two-Lane Blacktop (1971)
For anyone expecting a car film in the vein of “Vanishing Point,” they’re bound to be ridiculously disappointed. For “Two Lane Blacktop” is much more about the journey and the thrill of being a racer as it is about races. This is not “The Fast and the Furious” that revolves around hot women and fast cars, but more about two journeymen and their young aid who engage in endless travels from town to town in a world ruled by law and order. James Taylor is the Driver a fast talking back dealing con man on the road with his hot rod and his two cohorts who constantly are on the look out for a new challenge. When they reach their destination, they scope out potential rivals, deal them in to a big race, and collect their rewards. On the way the three folks in their car are looking for something: a purpose.
Bikini Bloodbath Carwash (2008)
Mrs. Johnson: Nice erection, Todd.
Todd: Thanks. You too!
Sitting down to watch “Bikini Bloodbath Carwash” made me grin from ear to ear in only the first five minutes as it was clear the directing team of Jonathan Gorman and Thomas Edward Seymour knew what they were doing. There’s no backstory, no complexity, no undertones, it’s just all out ridiculous horror fun, and I loved it. I always say that I don’t mind stupidity as long as there’s some substance behind it, and the sequel to “Bikini Bloodbath” starts out on all the right notes. Two girls we’ve never met get up from bed, dance around in their underwear, one of whom takes a while to put on her top, they dance and jiggle, the directors put up the title in a very creative manner and we see “Written and Directed by Who the Fuck Cares.” I mean… that’s great. It just is. That’s stupid, but it’s stupid as a fox.
Pieces (Mil gritos tiene la noche) (1983): Two Disc Deluxe Edition (DVD)
“The most beautiful thing in the world is smoking pot and fucking on a water bed.”
Armed with perhaps two of the funniest, most demented, and rapid fire twists in possibly all of film history, “Pieces” is one of the most insane horror films I’ve ever seen, a movie so rife with cheese and over the top splatter that it’s just impossible not to enjoy. I found myself disgusted, and cringing all the while laughing at the top of my lungs at scenes so poorly orchestrated that it’s just so easy to sit and watch without being bored. It’s impossible to pick a starting point in this review because I’m currently comprehending what the hell I’d just seen before my eyes.
Clash of the Titans (2010): Combo Pack Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital
It should have been a no-brainer. A Greek myth about a hero being called upon to battle the gods while also fighting with various creatures is a concept begging to be made in to an amazing movie. “Clash of the Titans” is the Harryhausen movie that fans continue to love but also secretly wanted to see remade… only for a curiosity. We wanted to know what it would look like, but we didn’t want it to happen. And then we were given the bright idea by Warner to not only remake the Harryhausen opus but turn it in to a franchise.
Spring Break Massacre (2008)
I’m not sure what the point of watching a horror movie is if we know everyone dies beforehand. Writers Hoffman and Jones take the unfortunate road of meeting us at the end with Reggie Bannister’s sheriff protagonist at the crime scene of said Spring Break Massacre explaining how every character dies. Meanwhile the story is told in completely disjointed formats and confusing shots that really left me in the dust. Why is this so high concept if it purports to be a slasher throwback? Why exactly is it called Spring Break Massacre if the majority of the story occurs during a slumber party?