Though it’s true I’ve never been much of a John Waters fan, the prospect of the upcoming remake has entertained me some. Not only is the prospect of seeing John Travolta in drag a hilarious option for movie viewing, but, yes, I think it looks entertaining in spite of the serious possibility it will be completely watered down, and void of any of the civil rights commentary posed. Before that, though, I thought I’d see “Hairspray” for the first time to see what the big deal is. Like all of Waters’ films, it’s a cult classic, and one that’s an acquired taste.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Wanda, the Wicked Warden (1977)
Gone is David Edmonds, gone is the original storyline, and in remains the shameless exploitation. Also, there’s Dyanne Thorne. How could you possibly dislike her? You can’t. Ilsa, who yet again hasn’t aged a day, nor does she resemble corpse, is now a brunette warden for a cruel prison. Hey, I don’t ask questions, I just go where the boobies are. This prison is being touted as a clinic, yet it is being operated as a concentration camp treating “disorders” such as lesbianism, nymphomania or prostitution.
Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks (1976)
Ilsa is back. How and why? Who the hell knows, but she is, and she is now working for sheiks in the desert, and taking great pleasure in doing so. And she also hasn’t aged a bit since World War II. The delicious Dyanne Thorne also returns to the role she perfect in the former “She-Wolf of the SS,” and the dubious reclaiming of the character is entertaining. Ilsa now works for Arab sheiks overseeing their affairs in weapons and also, there’s the torture. What would an Ilsa movie be without the torture? One of the most ridiculous aspects of this sequel is that Ilsa is here, hasn’t aged a bit, and is untouched. This isn’t a different actress in a questionable sequel, and Ilsa is here in all her glory. Why is this so irritating?
Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS (1975)
Based on the actual Nazi Ilse Koch, “Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS,” takes the actual person Ilse Koch who tortured prisoners and collected skin from the prisoners who had tattoos, and turns it into a rather shameless exploitation film. Let’s be honest, this is mostly just pornography with a plot, and yet I was lost in its story. The actual Ilse Koch was a lowlife dog, a monster fit to be hanged and pelted with rocks. She was an inhuman jellyfish who took great pleasure in tormenting the poor prisoners, while this film is really just porn. And, I’m not begrudging it for that. This is a capsule of its time. Period.
Bad Reputation (2005)
Jim Hemphill’s immaculately directed “Bad Reputation” is half “Carrie” and half “I Spit on Your Grave,” it’s a teen thriller that I can finally get behind, and one that never swims in the kiddy pool. This is a hardcore revenge film, and I enjoyed it from the very beginning. It’s also one of the few rape revenge flicks that have come around in years, with an utterly compelling series of events that leads to unthinkable carnage, after an utterly disturbing rape sequence renders a young insecure girl a merciless monster. Hemphill definitely has his ducks in a row with a film that really brings the best of the revenge genre to the screen, without ever watering the atmosphere down to appeal to a younger audience.
The Transformers: The Movie (1986)
“You, who knows not of mercy, now plead for it?” – Optimus Prime
This is the real Transformers movie, the one that helped the craze, a clever toy campaign that evolved into an excellent film, and an average series from Marvel Comics. To many, the film is only good on a kitschy level, but the film still manages to pack a punch as one of the few variations of the mythos that’s pretty violent in its ways. Characters die, robots destroy one another, and there’s a pretty complex plot to it. This film was introduced to me as a child way back before DVD’s ever entered the scene, and it’s still a film that’s rather entertaining and filled with thrills in spite of the animated format. “The Transformers” is not just all about nostalgia.
Mime (2005)
I guess you could say that this is based on a true story, but then it’s so absurd I truly had a hard time believing. So, I’ll take Balinski’s word for it, in the end. Based on a true story, a young man who poses as a mime goes walking in the park one night, and proceeds to mime killing a passerby. He’s then chased, beaten and put on trial for murder. I can imagine the original proceedings (if there were any) didn’t really go this way, but “Mime” seems as more a lampooning of the proceedings with a clown as one of the jurors, and our lawyers insisting that the victim not speak since he’s technically dead.