I really can’t understand why companies on tight budgets insist on attempting to create humongous epics on such a small pittance. “Supercroc” is part rip-off of “Primeval,” a part rip-off of “Alligator,” and a part rip-off of “Godzilla.” But mostly, it’s just an animals-on-a-rampage flick typical of low budget fare these days. And as all low budget fare, the animal in question does very little. As I’ve seen with many low budget movies, the film thinks it can base the story around our characters, so the audience won’t notice that the thing they came for only appears every twenty minutes and does very little. And this would be well and good, were the writing worth something. I mean, hell, the first ten minutes of this snooze fest involves soldiers on a mission on… I want to say a lake resort.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Altered by Elvis (2006)
My common thought is that if you’re going to make a documentary, be sure to make it about something you’re passionate of. “Altered by Elvis” explores pure passion for the man known to many as “The King.” The title basically speaks for itself. Directors Jayce and Tiffany Bartok chronicle the lives of many Elvis fans, and not just fans, but hardcore diehard obsessed fanatics who possess an utter passion for the artist, and you can almost sense the love behind every minute of film. “Altered by Elvis” tackles the fan base with much grace and charm presenting likable and appealing fans of Elvis, while also never being afraid to show the frightening followers.
Awaken the Dead (2007)
I always say, if you’re going to feature a priest as the center of your horror movie, however extreme or dramatic, make the priest a demon stomping hard ass and not some moaning pussy that holds the bible out in front of him at every chance. The hero Christopher is a little of both. A pacifist in some ways who is drawn into the front lines of battle, once evil comes a knockin’. “Awaken the Dead” is a mixed bag in terms of what it offers, but most of the time it hits more than misses. And for that, it deserves to be seen.
Stay (2005)
Can someone clear up why “Stay” was touted as a horror film, or a supernatural thriller? For the life of me, I’m still attempting to figure out why it was touted as a supernatural thriller, or even a supernatural horror film. You figure a film starring many rather esteemed actors would do its best to stray from its genre pigeon hole, but alas, I’m left perplexed at the utterly disappointing results of “Stay.” It’s not horror. When you’re finished with it, you’ll see that it’s clearly a Supernatural drama, and a pretty lackluster one to boot. I remember this film. It’s “Jacob’s Ladder,” no wait, it’s that crime drama with Courtney Cox who went all “indie,” that must be it. No, “Stay” is really just a sappy melodrama touted in a supernatural angle, and that’s a damn shame.
Thriller: A Cruel Picture (1973)
Allegedly one of the many influences for Quentin Tarantino’s “Kill Bill” series, “Thriller” or “They Called her One Eye” is an awfully uneasy and chilling bit of savagery involving one of the primary themes for grind house cinema: Victimizing. Like many before and after it, we watch a simple girl terrorized by corrupt and violent forces that drive her to the brink of violence and revenge in a hail of blood and bullets. Sure, thanks to many of its fans, “Thriller” is hardly a rare movie anymore, nor are reviews of it hard to come by, but where else will you find my own wry commentary?
An Open Door (2006)
Yet again, I was sure I had this film pegged from the get go. It’s a wife struggling to hold on to her husband. Of course. It’s heartbreaking and tragic, but that’s life. And then director Jourdan completely and utterly sideswiped me, and I was breath taken. I admit that. What “An Open Door” is is an utterly gut wrenching display of a woman who simply can’t let some things go. It’s going to be very difficult to review this without giving some things away. The surprise plot twist is utterly fantastic and hard to sit through, but what “An Open Door” is is the portrait of the human psyche and its refusal to sometimes admit to certain things.
TMNT (2007)
Michelangelo: I have nightmares about birthday parties…
I’ll happily admit this again and again, “TMNT” was one of my most anticipated movies of 2007. Because whether I say it or not, the Ninja Turtles were just a big part of my youth. And they’re a franchise I consistently trail back to and enjoy. I loved the original movie, loved the animated series and hell, I even dug the 2003 animated series. Remember that period when they were a rock band? I digress. This franchise is not without its hitches, as every franchise is, but “TMNT” was a step in the right direction. Computer animation, great cast, and bringing the turtles back to the dark without abandoning their major audience. I’m assuming you know the story of the turtles by now, so I’ll segue into the review.