I’m still trying to decide what about “Salt” annoyed me more, the goofy turn of events in the second half that had me gawking in sheer disbelief, or the insistence by the writers to include an ending that fades to black right in the middle of a big turn of events as if to leave a “To Be Continued” assuring audiences that there will be a sequel. Not only is this trend absolutely obnoxious (I pay to see whole movies, not parts of movies), but if there really is no sequel to “Salt” (god willing), then the entire closing scene is just a pointless wide open door left for us to presume what occurred after the writers decided we’d had enough story for now.
Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)
For the past four films, director Paul WS Anderson has taken what was once a very entertaining horror franchise and turned it in to a series of movies fetishizing his wife and doing nothing more than further his muse-like view on her. We nearly saw her naked in the first movie, she was a bad ass in the second, a goddess in the third movie, and in the fourth we’re given an army of Milla’s, presumably a concept Anderson got his jollies off of. That said “Afterlife” is a movie that continues to drag on this wasted concept and posit the question: Why is Umbrella continuing their research if about ninety-nine percent of the world consumed by hellfire and the walking dead? What do they further have to gain beyond being evil for the sake of being evil?
Machete (2010)
Robert Rodriguez proves with “Machete” that his and Tarantino’s little experiment entitled “Grindhouse” was much more of a failure than fans originally suspected. While both of their original films were basic flops at the box-office, Rodriguez is given another shot with “Machete” a film that began life in popularity as a mock grindhouse trailer before “Planet Terror” and eventually became a feature length film. And much like most of Rodriguez’ films, he takes what could have been an amazing premise and turns it in to a scattered, confusing, and muddled piece of action cinema that throws a host of characters at the screen, all of whom he can barely keep up with at one time.
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The Losers (2010)
I’ve never actually read the graphic novel “The Losers” is based on and sometimes that’s a good thing, since a film adaptation tends to garner its own flavor and narrative path from its source material and that can be said for the film adaptation of “The Losers” a movie that doesn’t try for Oscar gold or even legendary status but instead tries to make us laugh and cheer about as much as humanly possible in the ninety minutes it greets us with an array of bad asses, each with their own skill, who have a bone to pick with their government. Like “The A-Team,” this group of soldiers were all framed for a crime they didn’t commit, and deemed dead after a failed assassination attempt, disband and lose touch.
The A-Team (2010)
One of the benefits of “The A-Team” is that you can bask in the sheer idiocy of the story as most of the fans of the series did. Where in the original had four grown men in a black van storming through gates and beating people up, this one has a guy shooting from a tank dropping down to Earth and shooting down fighter planes. It also has a goofy 3D gag involving a truck that is pretty memorable. When all is said and done “The A-Team” doesn’t really want to re-invent the wheel, but instead just seeks to pay homage to the dumb original series that starred Mr. T and made him an eighties sensation.
Firebreather (2010)
Sure, at the end of the day this computer animated movie about a fire breathing teenager is really solely geared to preteens of the male persuasion. With a male character who looks like an anime character who is geeky and has superpowers, this is a movie that will really grab a hold of the young crowds. And sure, like all cable movies, this is a potential series, but I am a complete sucker for superhero movies. And in the same vein I am a sucker for underdog tales. I vaguely remember seeing an ad for the original comic book online a few years ago, so it was surprising to see a movie pop up that was based on a comic series I’ve yet to read or even fully be aware of. Researching the series, it’s story where the villain is taken on by Firebreather and Image characters like Invincible, Shadowhawk, and many more respective properties.