G4 has seen its share of bad days in the past few years. They nearly went broke, their attempts to appeal to the gamers have failed immensely, they lost a lot of their banner talent to other networks, they had to cut down the days on their two flagship shows X-Play and Attack of the Show, and as a result of such changes, their biggest star Olivia Munn left to pursue her career in… whatever it is she’s pursuing. We’re not sure. We think it has something to do with movies. Or… being a comedian. In either case, since Olivia’s evident departure, we thought we’d rank the co-hosts vying to replace her from BEST to WORST, and we were brutally honest.
Long Pigs (2007)
At first glance of “Long Pigs” and screen captures, many movie goers will be quick to dismiss Chris Power and Nathan Hyne’s mock documentary as merely a low budget film attempting to shock us in to submission and while in many ways “Long Pigs” is a gruesome and shocking film, “Long Pigs” also has a sense of sardonic humor and intelligence to it that makes it much more than just a movie about a cannibal and his fixation on the fine art of grooming human corpses to be eaten for his cooked delicacies. The directors behind this clearly were influenced by the likes of the classic film “Man Bites Dog” about a documentary crew anxiously trying to get in to the mind of a criminal who get too close for comfort, and “Long Pigs” is very influenced by that title engaging in a long moral and social breakdown of the greatest of taboos: cannibalism, and what repercussions they have in today’s society.
Second Coming (2008)
I honestly don’t even feel good calling this a horror movie, but I guess at the end of the day it is. “Second Coming” is a movie I’d looked forward to watching since I received it and I’m saddened that it didn’t meet my expectations at all. In fact it’s so far below my expectations I was pretty crushed to finish it. “Second Coming” could very well be an engrossing supernatural crime thriller, but in the end it’s really just a glorified television melodrama with a supernatural angle that doesn’t even make good on its tagline of a revenge tale.
Amer (2009)
Visually and viscerally, “Amer” is a film that is a throwback to the classic Giallo thrillers, but deep down it is much more of an academic breakdown of the Giallo sub-genre and not so much a straight forward giallo film. True it has shades of the visual flourishes with uses of color and specific dashes of sharp editing that suck us in to the narrative, all the while invoking memories of “Suspiria” and “Tenebre” upon which both directors call on to create something of an evocative sexual thriller, in the end. “Amer” is admittedly an exhausting film and that counts as a criticism and a recommendation.
V: The Complete First Season (DVD)
When I saw “V” for the first time in 2003, it was a refreshing experience. I watched them recorded on VHS tapes from my uncle who insisted I see the first mini-series and then its sequel, but avoid the spin-off TV show entirely. And I did so, accordingly. “V” is famous not just because it’s an epic science fiction mini-series from the late seventies but because it’s one of the most intelligent and relevant science fiction series of all time that is much more about aliens taking over the world. What seems like just a struggle of two races trying to live side by side after a visit from a massive army of human-like visitors from space actually becomes a very thought provoking metaphor for the Nazi regime and their occupation of new territory that inevitably turned in to an all out invasion and war.
The aliens who are declaring to be our friends at first soon become our mortal enemies, while the remaining humans who catch on to their ruse are soon symbols of the Jewish culture who resisted their invasions and were either murdered in mass numbers or taken prisoner. The show was such a brilliant take on world history even down to its trademark love became V for Visitors, then V signifying a peace sign, and soon took on a life as the Visitors own swastikas.
The Vampire Diaries: The Complete First Season (DVD)
Out of all the vampire properties in pop culture today from “True Blood,” to “Twilight,” to Anne Rice’s books, “The Vampire Diaries” is the least annoying franchise of the bunch mainly because since its premiere and evident take off in to longevity, Warner Bros. has completely undersold the series and snuck it under the radar in spite of its solid ratings. “The Vampire Diaries” is essentially like “Twilight” with a girl afflicted by tragedy, a series of vicious murders in her town, and a new student who sneaks in to her school with the obvious love for blood who begins stalking and romancing her. Sure Stefan looks like he could be well in to his thirties, but when you’re a vampire I guess you can get in to any place without trouble. Especially since the series makes note of pointing out that these vampires have mind-control abilities. A la “Gossip Girl,” most of the characters keep diaries of their thoughts and wants and desires.
A Love Letter to Trick 'r Treat
A shimmering pumpkin lit from the inside as if illuminated from the fires of hell, a young trick or treater with a sack over his head braves trick of treating the night of all Hallow’s Eve as we’re treated to glimpses of Missing posters hinting at the rash of disappearances across the town our young trick or treater is perusing. He manages to visit a few houses and is met with a mysterious figure who sucks him in to the darkness and after splashes of blood and sounds of beating, minutes later the small trick or treater emerges from the darkness of the alley with the body of his attacker in his sack. The mask this young trick or treater is not an elaborate mask built from a sack, but instead his face upon which he gazes back at the audience with an evil grin welcoming us in to the world of Halloween.