Probably one of the funniest pornos I’ve ever seen, “Batbabe” is that extra shot of ridiculous in a world of pornography is already high in the scent. This is a world where titles like “Night of the Giving Head” is a hit. “Batbabe” is a hilarious take on “The Dark Knight” effectively titled “Batbabe: The Dark Nightie” a movie starring the gorgeous Darian Caine as the title character who is forced to battle the evil Jerker, a man determined to steal all the porn in Bacchum and spread his evil spunk on the people of Bacchum.
Metal Man (2008)
The very fact that the producers and creators behind “Metal Man” made this film boggles my mind and leaves me stumped. Why they didn’t seek out the folks behind this “Iron Man” rip off is a missed opportunity to inform these companies to vie for original productions and not knock offs. I will give this to them, the people behind “Metal Man” are not the Asylum film studios. This messy amateur production relies on a metal suited hero named Metal Man whose color scheme is a red and yellowed armor that enables super abilities whenever he’s fighting crime.
Dragonball: Evolution (2009)
Well, here’s the odd news. Director James Wong and Twentieth Century Fox seem to rely heavily on mimicking the “Spider-Man” movies by turning our hero Goku in to a new age Peter Parker who has immense power and responsibility with every reason not to use them on his foes; pair that with a Luke Skywalker death scene and you have a mélange of influences with no bond that keeps the film from falling apart from the seams. That is until the day comes when a force of evil conveniently gives his training a purpose. Had “Dragon Ball” been adorned with a different name and a completely different set of characters, it wouldn’t actually be so bad, but when you make the inevitable comparison to the anime, the flaws are quite obvious and ridiculous.
Punisher: Warzone (2008) (DVD)
What Lexi Alexander and Lions Gates attempts to accomplish with this new title in the Marvel movie lexicon is a complete restart of the Punisher franchise and they do this by completely forgetting any and all of the events from the Thomas Jane version and in some respects it’s nice to have a movie that pays due attention to the original origin of madman Frank Castle. Hell, I loved the John Travolta vehicle and still do in spite of fans belly aching, but god help me, “Warzone” is a better film. Why? Frankly because there are very few liberties taken with the mythos and we get down to the nitty gritty.
The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest: Season One, Volume One (DVD)
Going in to the official DVD release for “Jonny Quest” I couldn’t believe what they’d done with the treatment. There’s a beveled slip cover and a two disc edition with DVD faces that look immaculate. It’s a well deserved treatment because to this day I am baffled as to why this series never broke out on its own and became a hit. Perhaps audiences just didn’t care? Maybe the series wasn’t handled well enough. Or maybe the viewers were too young to understand the complex narrative and intricate characterization that made this series an instant favorite of mine. There may also be some contention at the very suggestively violent moments that included a man being impaled on elephant tusks and blood shed during fights with villains.
The Zeta Project: Season One (DVD)
There’s only one other science fiction series I can think of that manages to be half as good and exciting as “The Zeta Project” and that’s “Reboot.” The series, now on a special edition DVD, “The Zeta Project” is a spin off of the critically acclaimed “Batman Beyond.” His story in the aforementioned series is pretty much the same as the one told here. Zeta is an android who has the ability to change appearances which allows him to remain in the general population without being detected.
His introduction in “Batman Beyond” happens to be one of the best episodes of the series; so good was it that it eventually branched out on its own. Sadly, the series didn’t last very long on the WB Network here in America and the characters were shun in to obscurity. Looking back at the format thanks to this great long overdue DVD series, it’s still a fun and exciting sci-fi series very much in the vein of “The Fugitive” following a robotic unit intended for war who suddenly gains a conscious.
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)
Hi Hollywood, what’s new Capcom? I thought I should start this review here with a bit of Tony Robbins tough love and ask why you still feel the need to option movies whose origins live in the video game world. When will you ever learn that there’s no such thing as a good video game movie and there never will be? Hollywood, you’ve put us through misery for years trying to take plotless video games and turn it on its ear, and have also managed to simultaneously take games with narrative and structure and destroy it without fail. What’s the deal? Don’t the video game movie flops ever help you to realize that there’s just no point in adapting even the most popular games? I’ve lived through Doom, Tomb Raider and Resident Evil and we’ve yet to see something good derived from either of them.