All I know about “Sheena” is that she’s very much like a female Tarzan, except she had a few movies, a really bad television series in the end of the nineties, bears a supernatural twist to her, and–oh yeah–she’s really hot. From the beginning, we’re being set up for another evil industrialist tale, and that’s the gist of “Sheena.” Issue one chronicles the return of Sheena in the midst of a major destruction of the Val Verde jungle at the hands of Cardwell Industries. Shifting from past and present, we follow the rise and fall of Harrison Cardwell, a young man who fled to Val Verde to escape the government of the US and built a crooked empire, inevitably losing everything he cherished.
Mime (2005)
I guess you could say that this is based on a true story, but then it’s so absurd I truly had a hard time believing. So, I’ll take Balinski’s word for it, in the end. Based on a true story, a young man who poses as a mime goes walking in the park one night, and proceeds to mime killing a passerby. He’s then chased, beaten and put on trial for murder. I can imagine the original proceedings (if there were any) didn’t really go this way, but “Mime” seems as more a lampooning of the proceedings with a clown as one of the jurors, and our lawyers insisting that the victim not speak since he’s technically dead.
Foxxy Madonna vs the Black Death (2007)
Why did I even long for a Grind House revival, when it was happening right under my nose? You may be surprised to hear this, but I can be a bit slow witted at times. Right now, there are about a hundred young directors creating movies, all of whom are just clamoring to re-invent the Grind House and exploitation genre, and they just don’t get enough of the credit that they deserve for accomplishing what Hollywood has tried so desperately to do. The proof in the pudding is this utterly fantastic production short from Cinephreak Pictures that aces every feeling and novelty you get from a Grind House film, with a touch of Blaxploitation for good measure.
Penny Dreadful's Shilling Shockers: Season Two (DVD)
Penny Dreadful is a hot hunk of woman, and in a world where Elvira, Zacharly, Joe Bob Briggs, Dr. Demento and many other folks helped to ease the pain of horrible movies, Penny Dreadful and her friends could be the carrier of the torch. In the genre of horror, the females mostly always rule. Men still love Elvira, Vampira, Debbie Rochon, and the rest of the legendary brood, and Penny Dreadful carries this legacy with a New England series that excels at showing truly awful films.
Penny Dreadful’s smexxiness otherwise cushions the blow of the garbage like “The Beast of Yucca Flats,” and it’s a suggested little horror series where you can find it on Public Access. “Shilling Shockers” is obviously a series that derives from the formula of “Horrible Horror” and “Mystery Science Theater,” in which our hostess, Penny Dreadful, has some fun with props, entertains us with some funny commentary, and introduces a bad film.
Transmorphers (2007)
A zebra can’t change its stripes, and in spite of the rumblings from the movie world, the Asylum will not stop making rip offs of bigger movies, because money talks and it also has no dignity or artistic merit. So, I’ve come to terms with the Asylum’s ridiculous practices, and set my sights on bigger fish with more importance in the film world, than some company making low budget rehashes with similar titles. “Transmorphers” was a pathetic concept the first I heard of it, because—well, look at the title. What robot movie does the title hearken to? Regardless, I approached this new effort with optimism because the cover art is just great; whoever works at the art department should be commended for constantly adding appeal to the turds the studio trots out to stores, and hell, the cover for “Transmorphers” is just beautiful.
Girl, Positive (2007)
Don’t have unprotected sex. Many people say it, a lot of officials warn against it, but not many people practice it. “Girl, Positive” is another PSA from the Lifetime Network that explores a young girl who simply didn’t practice safe sex and suffered the consequences. There are really a lot of factors that could attribute to her contracting HIV, but the writer never pinpoints the actual source; that our character Rachel is just as dumb as a bag of rocks. But “Girl, Positive” in its ways to increase tension and avoid the inevitable revelation, really just treads water until we finally get to the meat and bones of the film.
An Interview with Actress Sarah Hall
Three words come to mind when I think of Sarah Hall: Yow, Yum, and Wow. Now, you endure my girl crazy antics day in and day out, but Sarah Hall isn’t all looks. It’s not a secret the folks at Asylum and I aren’t on the best of terms, and “The Hitchhiker” is one of the primary films from the video label that has managed to draw the line in the sand (long story), but one of the only highlights of the film is the performance, and arguably, the debut of Sarah Hall to B movie fans. Hall is one of the many rotating cast of actors in the Asylum fold that appears in almost every film title.
Hall has the potential to break out from the horror genre, and can kick the film world up its ass. As a person she’s friendly, and outgoing, and knows how to humor folks, and on-screen she’s unique, charismatic, and manages to steal the show quite often. For proof, turn to “The Hitchhiker,” which almost becomes a display for Hall’s rather alarming sex appeal, and she continues her Asylum affairs with the upcoming–ahem–mock buster “Transmorphers.”
We grabbed a hold of Hall and interviewed her, and yes, even flirted a bit, but Hall was kind enough not to put out a restraining order and obliged. Here’s the hap with Hall.