Tag Archives: Adaptation

Bad Movie Monday: Dune (1984)

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I’m going to teach everyone on the internet how to properly say Denis Villeneuve’s name because most of you in English speaking countries are butchering it so goddamn bad that I feel the need to personally step in and address this incredibly unimportant issue. Probably the worst attempt I’ve heard so far was someone on YouTube calling him Dunneees Villaynueve, which is this weird thing Americans do. If they can’t say a French word or name they’ll just pronounce it with a cartoonishly Spanish accent and hope for the best. Take it from me, someone who is French, you sound ridiculous doing that. Okay, ready for your lesson kids? Take notes. There may be a test. “Denis” is pronounced as if you’re almost saying “The Knee” only with more of a D sound at the beginning. Relatively simple. As for “Villeneuve”, repeat after me: “Ville”, like the word Evil without the E. Pretend you’re Donald Pleasance in Halloween. “Neu”, like the word Nerve without the R. And finally a hard V sound at the end.

The Knee Ville-Neu-V. NOW SAY IT RIGHT! Good job. Now, what the hell was I doing? Oh, yeah… I was going to review David Lynch’s DUNE.

Cue music by Toto.

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What If…? “X-Men: The Movie” Debuted in 1987?

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Last week, Marvel unleashed the trailer for “X-Men ’97,” the sequel to the series from FOX Kids from the nineties that continues the saga of the 1990’s iteration of the X-Men.

It was a time when they were massively popular, one of the big moneymakers for Marvel, and were given a variety of excellent characters. The X-Men property has been around for decades, and around the nineties, Marvel began developing the ideal “X-Men” movie. It wasn’t until the year 2000 that we finally got the “X-Men” movie.

But I think “X-Men” would have also made a great eighties action film, so I went back and cast an “X-Men” movie if it were developed, and cast in 1987! What if…?

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Madame Web (2024)

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In Sony’s quest to maintain the Spider-Man trademark, they continue milking whatever character from his universe that they can, no matter how irrelevant or nonsensical they may be. In the now established “Don’t Say Spider-Man” Spider-Man Movieverse, S.J. Clarkson directs what is essentially “Donnie Darko” but with a heavy theme about Spiders. The writers do everything they can to allude to Spider-Man and Peter Parker but, I’m assuming because of contractual stipulations, not once do we ever get to see Peter Parker or Spider-man, nor do we ever hear his name uttered. Uncle Ben does play a big role, though, because he is not canon in the MCU.

It’s all so tricky.

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Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

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Director Zelda Williams and Diablo Cody’s “Lisa Frankenstein” doesn’t just wear its influences on its sleeves, it bedazzles those influences and flashes its sleeves around proudly. “Lisa Frankenstein” watches as if Diablo Cody pitched: “Remember “Edward Scissorhands”? What if “Edward Scissorhands” but in the 80’s?” All the cards are set up from minute one, from the Gothic animated opening sequence, and the pastel photography, while Kathryn Newton and Cole Sprouse do their very best Winona Ryder and Johnny Depp impersonations.

Mix in “Heathers,” “My Boyfriend’s Back,” and “Warm Bodies” and we’re given what is essentially a ton of talent with no place to go.

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The Warriors (1979): 2-Disc Limited Edition [4K UHD]

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Now Available from Arrow Video.

It’s no secret that I Love “The Warriors.” I’ve loved it for years, and I talk about it constantly. I own a massive poster, the vinyl soundtrack the entire funko pop wave, the PS2 video game, and most of the editions on DVD and Blu-Ray. It’s a movie that’s had an interesting genesis starting out as a novel, transformed in to a notorious feature film, which then became fodder for video stores and was played quite often in syndication on cable and network television. It then evolved in to a cult classic and now a more widely celebrated cult masterpiece. And rightly so.

It’s a movie that works on so many levels as a streamlined, sleek, gritty, and exciting gang picture that Walter Hill directs with pitch perfect efficiency, and it’s garnered another well deserved special release from Arrow Video.

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BAD MOVIE MONDAY: A BOY AND HIS DOG (1975)

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It’s a bit of a misconception about me to say that I hate modern movies and have a particular loathing reserved towards the superhero genre. I do not. Well, not exactly anyway. What has happened is that I’ve grown extremely weary of films that are written in this very mundane “Screenwriting 101” style. Almost every movie made these days is about a hero’s journey or a redemption arc or some sort of variation on a theme outlined in SAVE THE CAT! Which is a book about screenwriting that Hollywood seems to treat like it’s the Holy Bible of Cinema.

This is why I really respect a movie like A BOY AND HIS DOG. If nothing else, it’s definitely not formulaic.

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The Peacock’s “Ted” Is Better Than the Movies

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Now Streaming Exclusively on The Peacock. “Ted” The Movie is Now Available.

It’s probably not much of a surprise to discover that Seth McFarlane’s talents work much more when applied to serialized television than with feature length films. While “Ted” has gradually evolved in to a favorite of mine, and “Ted 2” is—well—good enough to pass the time, Seth McFarlane’s transplanting of his concept to the small screen is very good. Often times it’s great. This is also stunning considering Seth McFarlane’s earlier humor was often so dark and nasty. “Ted” actually manages to bring a lot of what we love about the humor from “American Dad” and “Family Guy” but also injects some actual heart and substance to McFarlane’s bizarre formula.

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