And everywhere, eighties geeks just had the largest orgasm after watching “Kung Fury.” In fact, if you’re an eighties geek, I dare you not to break down in tears while watching. David Sanberg’s “Kung Fury” is bleeding eighties ephemera from every orifice. It’s a sweet eighties homage that mixes every cliché imaginable right down to the screaming police sergeant forcing a new partner on his rebel cop. Triceracop. There’s actually a goddamn Triceracop.
Don’t you hate it when you hit your head in a fit of rage and end up in Sherwood forest with a bunch of hot buxom women? In all honesty, I’d love that, but surely enough in Surrender Cinema’s “Virgins of Sherwood Forest” you can expect it to happen. One of my favorite erotic stars of all time, Gabriella Hall, plays Roberta, a female director for a music video has to tolerate a bunch of obnoxious sex starved actors.
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Director Nicholas Stoll’s comedy at least has entertainment value going for it. It may not be the most consistent or tonally even film of the year, but it’s kind of fun when you get down to it. That’s mainly thanks to Zac Efron and Dave Franco that save the movie from being another self indulgent Seth Rogen improv-athon. Rogen literally can’t play anyone but Rogen anymore, even when playing an alien from outer space, but the supporting cast for “Neighbors” really keeps the film from diving in to abysmal depths and keeps it a notch above mediocre. That also includes Rose Byrne, and the hilarious Carla Gallo.
“Surface” is the definition of a series with a one note concept that would have worked much better as a mini-series when all is said and done. Around the mid-aughts, NBC television began working their way in to science fiction and began airing the quite ambitious “Surface.” During 2005, ABC’s “Lost” was taking America by storm and dominating pop culture with its mysterious storylines and baffling plot twists, so every network attempted to build their own franchise in the same vein. “Surface” is a valiant attempt with misguided writing.
And yes, I sat through the whole thing.
Part one in an apparent movie series from Hallmark Entertainment, “Northpole” is a cute film about Christmas, and trying to preserve the happiness. Literally. It’s a simple and down to Earth movie that celebrates the more entertaining aspects of the holiday, while also building on a new hero in the form of elf Clementine. Bailee Madison is the definition of adorable as the rambunctious cherubic elf, desperately trying to keep the North Pole from dying what with the happiness of Christmas fading away in a sea of unfortunate cynicism. “North Pole” depends on Madison’s enthusiastic performance, and as always, she steals the movie. “North Pole” has its fair share of silliness, but it’s a fine Christmas movie with amusing quirks that I sat through with ease.
If it’s at all possible, “Into the Storm” manages to out silly “Twister” by miles. It features a giant hurricane, absolutely valiant attempts to comment on global warming, and a fire tornado! A fire tornado trumps a flying cow any day of the week, sad to say. “Into the Storm” is a silly movie without a single compelling character, but when it stops trying to create drama it’s actually a lot of fun to sit through. From the great special effects, to the absolutely tense carnage inflicted by nature, “Into the Storm” is that kind of movie you could see Paul Newman and Red Buttons co-starring in 1979.
I’m very glad to say that “Princess Mononoke” was my first real experience with Hayao Miyazaki’s amazing cinematic contributions. After its Oscar buzz in 1997, I sought out the film, and was shocked at what I’d been missing from the master director. “Princess Mononoke” is probably Miyazaki’s broadest film, but one that also conveys a meaningful alllegory about the sanctity of nature, and how the wars of men can taint the sacred lands. It’s an action packed and incredible morality tale that will win over fantasy buffs instantly. “Princess Mononoke” is set in the Muromachi Period of Japan where a local village is attacked by a vicious amorphous demon. The bow and arrow wielding warrior Ashitaka, comes to the rescue of the village, fending off the demon and defeating it after a horrific battle, but the demon manages to corrupt his body with its vile darkness.