Tag Archives: Adventure

Year 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Ultimate Edition (DVD)

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For folks currently switching over to Blu-Ray this Christmas, there is also the option for traditional DVD releases, and this year available for all of the Potter fans is the Year 3 Ultimate Edition of Alfonso Cuaron’s “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” one of the few very entertaining installments of the Harry Potter series that has a truly dark and grim tone to it appealing toward adults and children alike.

This is one of the few films of the series that convinces me Harry Potter is not just for six year olds with a library card, and Cuaron lends a distinction that makes his version of the book much more bleak and atmospheric with a horror film sensibility and grit he brought over from “Children of Men.” Granted, I’m not a fan of the Harry Potter franchise in spite of my trying in the early days of the first book. I can still fondly recall reading the first book and midway through the text, I had to put it down and try to stay awake.

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Disney’s A Christmas Carol (2009)

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It’s rather disheartening how a film that is filled with such a visual epic scope can in the end feel so cold and lifeless. Even with the title now being “Disney’s A Christmas Carol” with Charles Dickens (you know, the author of the actual story?) craftily omitted from the publicity campaign. Robert Zemeckis’ insistence on delivering some of the more stone cold animated films, that continue to attempt to convince us that it’s so much more than a simple demo reel continues with “A Christmas Carol.” It’s yet another spin on Charles Dickens tales of Christmas and redemption through the lens of motion capture computer animation. And much like the method of motion capture, it tries to be about as humanistic and moving as possible, but never can capture the subtle quirks and nuances of the human face and their emotions.

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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

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“That’s what you’re all becoming… Martianmallows.”

So the Martians of this piece have no idea what television is, despite watching it often. They have no idea what dolls are. They have no comprehension of the idea of tender loving care, but they’re fans of hamburgers and chocolate cake in pill form? How does that work? I have a feeling even with the notorious “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” being touted to children in its original release, the kids in the audience sat through about twenty minutes, and thought this experience would be much better with some acid at hand. It’s not so much that “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” is a bad movie, it’s that it’s so terribly put together and written that it ends up watching as a slow and painful death that you can’t help to look at with sheer disbelief.

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Family Guy Presents: It's a Trap! (2010)

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WeHaveABadFeelingAboutThisPFifty five seconds in, I’m not kidding, fifty five seconds in, “Family Guy” manages to meet my expectations in the sense of laziness concerning the writers. Does this show still have writers? Are they just floating around in big pools compiling scripts on cocktail napkins now? Do they even care anymore? Within the first minute, “It’s A Trap!” squeezes in a joke about the nineties, before the Griffins experience another blackout. Just like “Blue Harvest.” Except with the aforementioned special, there was some set-up. Here the family groans at the black out and Stewie asks “We’re doing Jedi now, aren’t we?” to which Peter groans and declares “Let’s just get through this.” So… what’s the joke here? Were the writers obligated to finish off the trilogy? Are they making it heard to their fan base that they don’t even want to do this final installment? Are they echoing our thoughts on yet another “Star Wars” satire? Does the fan base even care that the writers aren’t even trying anymore?

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True Grit (2010)

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true_gritWhen Mattie Ross first meets Rooster Cogburn, it’s behind the walls of a ramshackle outhouse behind a farm house where Rooster is attempting to ward off his young hire while pushing off the runs in his privacy. He holds no pretense about keeping his respect or dignity for her nor does he try to show her his face in the midst of his groans, he just continues with his acts showing her all of the regard he thinks she deserves. When Mattie Ross finally sees Rooster he is a man she is unprepared to confront and has no idea how to approach him. He has one eye, speaks in an unintelligible mumbling monotone of voice that would indicate he is half asleep and drunken during his trial, and his recollections of pursuing and killing criminals are foggy at best. He is a man of loose morals and zero ethics, but Mattie is ready to meet Rooster and woo him with dollar signs and enthusiasm, to which Rooster is neither impressed nor amused by.

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Centurion (2010)

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08a04afb4d0d53326c091421a39Strong female characters in a Neil Marshall film are never in short supply, and with “Centurion” even thought it’s primarily a testosterone laden gladiator film of the highest order, Marshall stamps his trademark style on to it with sheer grit, a noticeable blue hue that makes even the gladiator action feel steeped in grindhouse, and of course he offers up a small array of female warriors in a world where men dominate and do battle in the woods. Marshall is up to the challenge to give his fans a rare entertaining gladiator film that’s not only very traditional in the way of “Spartacus” but features some of the most gruesome action sequences and dazzling performances in years.

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Jonah Hex (2010) (DVD)

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jonah_hex_2010_movie-wideI love Westerns. I love great revenge films. I love good comic book adaptations. “Jonah Hex” is neither. In fact it almost aspires to not be a good movie at every single turn that seems almost calculated meticulously to suck the life out of its audience as much as humanly possible. From the casting of Megan Fox as a heroine, Will Arnett as a villain, and the conscious avoidance of the source material’s gritty and bleak Western tone, “Jonah Hex” is an abomination, a sheer testament to the waste of time, money, and resources comic book adaptations can be.

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