From the man who gave us such rousing successes as “Sucker Punch” comes a new vision of Batman and Superman that’s pitch black, violent, and painfully stupid. Zack Snyder is a man with so much admiration for Alan Moore and Frank Miller, he spends the majority of “Batman v Superman” ripping them off wholesale. Snyder’s film is such a botched job he works in reverse, and takes the time out to deconstruct his vision of the iconic superheroes we haven’t even gotten to know yet. But hey, at least we get to see Bruce Wayne’s parents murdered in an alleyway once again. To make matters worse, the film is long, overstuffed, and painfully boring.
Tag Archives: Batman
Batman v Superman: Extended Cut or Why You Can’t Pour Perfume on a Pig
Pearls. Again. Bruce Wayne’s origin. Again. Joe Chill. I’m presuming. Again. I can still hear the echoes of fan boys rejoicing that “Batman v Superman” wouldn’t be another origin story, and yet director Zack Snyder allows us the thirtieth origin of Bruce Wayne, all for the purpose of squeezing in Bruce muttering “Martha.” Which is his mother. And so a thousand memes were born.
Director Zack Snyder doesn’t allow us the benefit of young Superman or Clark Kent with his mother, also curiously named Martha, because that would make sense. Plus, Snyder never worked with Diane Lane or Kevin Costner. It would be funny though to see Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Lauren Cohan playing John and Martha Kent.
Justice League vs. Teen Titans (2016) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]
Once again DC Comics advertises a throwdown between titans that doesn’t totally deliver. True, the two teams of old and young battle, but it’s under wild circumstances, and it’s only a two minute bout at best. Sam Liu’s film should have been called “Teen Titans” and been done with it, but how else to cash in on “Batman v Superman,” I guess? The film is primarily centered around the building of the Teen Titans and their dynamics as a whole. The movie channels both the original animated series, and the cult classic “Young Justice” to offer up a movie that I wish would begin a new series of more exciting movies, showing how these teens have to work and fight in a world dominated by basic gods. That said, “Justice League vs. Teen Titans” isn’t a bad film, despite the criticisms and observations. It’s a very fine action adventure that focuses on the interesting interplay between Robin and Raven.
Batman’s Cinematic Beauties from Least Favorite to Absolute Favorite
The latest trailer for David Ayer’s “Suicide Squad” movie just dropped and fans are excited for it (obvious Marvel bias!), mainly because it looks to be a bang up action movie with a great sense of humor. It also looks a lot like a comic book version of “The Dirty Dozen” with a bunch of scoundrels on a suicide mission and their superiors fully aware that they’re set to take the fall or die should they fail their mission. Along with the big screen versions of Killer Croc, and Deadshot coming to the film, among others, we have some classic Batman villainesses, one of whom is Harley Quinn. The long time fan favorite who made her debut in the nineties as an original creation from “Batman The Animated Series” has taken on a life of her own and is the center of the marketing for “Suicide Squad,” as she finally makes her big screen debut with Margot Robbie playing the role.
With the absolutely beautiful and sexy Robbie portraying the longtime psychotic fan girl and girlfriend of the Joker, I thought I’d run down a list of the most notable cinematic beauties from Batman’s long line of theatrical films. Since Quinn and other villains from “Suicide Squad” are Batman rogues, you can kind of almost count the upcoming film as a Batman spin off of a sorts.
Here is a list of Batman’s Cinematic Beauties ranked from My Least Favorite to Absolute Favorites. How would you rank the list?
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Zack Snyder’s “Batman v Superman” is a prequel to “Justice League,” a spiritual reboot for his version of Ben Affleck’s love child iteration of Batman, and just one big amalgam of “Watchmen” and “The Dark Knight Rises” in one big messy unpleasant plate. Basically, Superman is Doctor Manhattan and Ozymandias, while Batman is Rorschach and Nite Owl. Snyder doesn’t really have to pull much footwork with his clashing of the titans, as he just instills a lot of the same themes and ideas from Alan Moore’s graphic novel, while spending the duration of the movie riffing on Moore’s work, along with Frank Miller, Alex Ross and everyone else he can. This results in a tonally uneven, and virtually fun free movie that has no respect for the Superman lore and an obsession with Batman’s, and it’s apparent from minute one. Did we really have to see Batman’s origin again?
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Duology (2012, 2013)
For better and for worse “The Dark Knight Returns” duology is a loyal adaptation of the Frank Miller graphic novel. Both films are very ugly and violent, not to mention incredibly grim to the point where any and all sense of entertainment value is absolutely gone. Miller’s tale of Batman is violent and grotesque, painting Batman more as an avenger of the people while Superman is a despicable asshole working as a fascist tool to help restore order for a president whose lust for violence is very laissez faire. “The Dark Knight Returns Part I” is actually quite riveting with brilliant animation, as Bruce Wayne experiences a mental crack in the vein of his past foes, and uses his insanity as a form of instilling justice. Even Commissioner Gordon has somewhat given in to his baser urges and turned to Batman as a means of hope by putting in jeopardy all of his beliefs, and completely dismissing the establishment altogether.
The PC Thug: DC vs. Marvel Comics – My Favorite Comic Book Gimmick of the 90’s
Every fanboy and fangirl on the internet are buzzing about Batman fighting Superman and will soon be bickering about Team Captain America fighting Team Iron Man in “Civil War.” Personally, I love and hate it. I love it because it proves that these characters are still very important and relevant and I hate it because some people are taking the debate too far. Seriously, stop harassing people simply because they share a different opinion. No one deserves to die simply because they really disliked a movie about an alien fighting a man dressed as a bat. I’ve been a Superman fanatic since I was eight, and I’m not about to send Zack Snyder a letter bomb for treating Superman poorly. The mainstream still thinks we’re all angry virgin boys hiding in our parents’ dark basements, and wanking off to “Star Trek” erotica.
Don’t perpetuate the stereotype, please. Remember: It’s all bullshit and it’s bad for you.