So not only is Elvira a descendent of a witch, but she’s also the descendent of a Romanian countess. Truth be told, I’d love to see Elvira descend in to my bed, but that’s another article for another day. The good news Cassandra Peterson still has her unkempt sense of humor and she still looks damn good cracking wise and getting herself in to trouble as the Mistress of the Dark. “Haunted Hills” is the further adventures of Elvira, as the film is set in 1851 where Elvira and her servant Zou Zou travel the countryside performing for various villages. A self-proclaimed celebrity, Elvira and her servant make a habit of skipping out of bills when given the order from rather aggressive innkeepers, and the two make their days on the run and hoping for jobs.
Tag Archives: Comedy
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (1988)
I would have loved to be a fly on the wall during the writing of “Mistress of the Dark.” Basically, the entire formula for comedy is comprised of a steady delivery of sex joke, double entendre, joke about Elvira’s breasts, sex joke, double entendre, joke about Elvira’s breasts, sex joke, double entendre, joke about Elvira’s breasts. Lather, rinse, and repeat. Hope for the best! Not to say it’s a bad formula, but after an hour, it becomes so predictable, you can see when a joke is about to fly at the audience, and it doesn’t really land all the time. But then again, Cassandra Peterson makes even the most clunky one-liner land, thanks to her almost unabashed goofiness, and her ability to use her chest as a sight gag more times than not.
For anyone who used to see this film when it originally premiered, using her chest as a form of laughs and awe from the men in the audience never gets old. When I was seven I’d see this movie every single time it was on television and it’s not because the movie is a comedy classic. Granted, “Mistress of the Dark” has a lot going for it. It never tries too hard and actually has fun with the premise. Cassandra Peterson uses this opportunity to bank on the popularity of her character while also giving her something to do. She provides the audience with her origin, a back story about her family, and she never hesitates to flirt with men around her in spite of the disgust of the puritanical town she ends up in.
There endless sex jokes and sight gags, so much so that the script would only be about four pages without them included. After quitting her famous cable show, Elvira sets out to start her own Vegas act, but she needs almost a hundred thousand dollars to fund it. She’s called back to her aunt’s home town Fallwell to inherit her possessions after she’s died, and after moving in to her dark mansion and adopting her dog, Elvira discovers she comes from a long line of witches. Meanwhile, her evil long lost uncle wants the sacred book of “recipes” Elvira’s aunt has left behind, while Elvira battles the town’s puritanical government, all of whom will do whatever it takes to run her out of town. Elvira runs amok garnering the love of the town’s teens, and even turns a small picnic in to an orgy after she botches a stew.
“Mistress of the Dark” is by no means a masterpiece, but compared to the likes of similar fare like “Repossessed,” it’s just infinitely more watchable and entertaining. Elvira sticks closely to the horror genre, providing a fish out of water comedy that was quite popular in films like “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure” and the eventual “Addams Family” big screen debut. Elvira herself is a likable character filled with movie references and shameless homages, while also never afraid to flaunt her assets to everyone she meets, even smothering her own windshield when she cleans it at a gas station. It may not be the comedy that re-invented horror comedies, but Elvira’s feature film debut is an entertaining and raunchy foray with the always sexy and unique Cassandra Peterson keeping together a formula plot and hit or miss jokes and one-liners with her wit, personality, and pair of talents always heaving for the audience.
Zombie Cat: The Tale of a Decomposing Kitty [Paperback]

One of the aspects of author Isabel Atherton’s book about a zombie cat and its master in the middle of the zombie apocalypse is subtlety. It manages to be both an advantage and a downfall, especially since the ending feels somewhat abrupt. The trick is, I’m assuming, that the ending is the beginning. In either case, from Skyhorse Publishing, “Zombie Cat” is yet another in a slew of kids books showing how life in the zombie apocalypse is different and drastic. Particularly for Tiddles and her master.
Ten Reasons Why We Love Seth Green
Seth Green has built up an incredible body of work. Spanning almost four decades, Mr. Green has managed to rise from his start as a child actor, and survived the infamous curse of the child star to carve a career for himself in the mainstream, and cult arena. Seth Green has set foot in every corner of Hollywood imaginable, and he just continues re-inventing himself and taking bold moves with his career. He’s had plenty of flops (ahem–“Without a Paddle”), and many mediocre jobs (“Can’t Hardly Wait”), but Green still comes out ahead in the end. This is due to his personable nature, his humility, his ability to connect with geeks and fanboys eye to eye since he is one, and because he is one of the most daring comedic actors alive today. He takes risks, and when he’s in the zone he can inspire raucous laughter from everyone.
People love Seth Green, and we do too. Whether it’s earning the love of comedy fans in his role as the demented Chris Griffin on “Family Guy,” keeping the love of nineties kids with his role as Wiley in “Airborne,” gaining the attention of action fans in films like “The Italian Job” and “Knockaround Guys,” or earning indie cred in the abysmal “Party Monster,” Seth Green is never afraid to try something new with his career and take a chance on a project. What’s more is he always seems to enjoy doing favors for his close circle of friends adding his credit to their work. Seth Green is a very popular entity who can act, write, and pretty much shill his stuff shamelessly on shows like “The Soup” without coming off pathetic. It’s because he’s so damn funny and likable. Here are ten reasons why we love Seth Green.
Judge Dredd (1995)
Before the comic book movie revival of the twenty first century, the nineties didn’t have that many notable comic book movies to brag about. There was the awful “Tank Girl,” and the even worse “Barb Wire.” There was “Spawn,” and “Generation X,” and “Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD,” “STEEL,” and “Batman and Robin.” And like those aforementioned titles, Hollywood adapted these titles completely missing why readers actually flocked to them in the first place. Never content with laying waste to more underground comic books, Hollywood eventually got its hands on Judge Dredd and turned it in to a Hollywood schlock fest that was so desperate for an audience it cast Rob Schneider in a major role.
Roseanne: The Complete Fifth Season (DVD)
With the rising star status of Roseanne from acclaimed female comedian to basic household name, Roseanne completely changed in season five from a light hearted show about a poor family trying to get by, to a darker but still very funny series revolving around family dysfunction, the pain family can inflict on us, and the struggles of women more than anything. Men became more evil and oafish as the series continued in to season five, and the lovable but hard working Dan Conner turned in to the lovable and somewhat moronic Dan Conner who still had good intentions. The shift is gradual but noticeable. And most of the season’s storylines revolve around the pain men can inflict, and how weak women can be around men they love.
Roseanne: The Complete Sixth Season (DVD)
One of the many things “Roseanne” Season Six has going for it is the casting of Michael O’Keefe as Jackie’s love interest Fred, who is the often mild mannered and funny boyfriend who is mostly played to react off of the dysfunction and lunacy of the Conners most times. It’s a shame O’Keefe was never brought on to be a permanent cast member like Johnny Galecki or Glenn Quinn, since the character’s mild temperament makes for some instant laughs. This season is much more a shift as the series continues its glimpse in to dysfunction and family pain while also shifting the cast yet again.
