What can you do to royally piss me off? Cast three of the stupidest most untalented people in Hollywood in a remake. Yes, that’s right earning of a smack across the face. Take a Jack ass who is a Jack ass, a one-hit wonder, and a singer whose talents are in her sweater, and you have “The Dukes of Hazzard,” a cleaned up, PC spoof of the actual show that preceded it, that can never tell whether its taking itself seriously, or as a general satire of hillbillies.
Tag Archives: D
The Depression of Detective Downs (2005)
Depression is no laughing matter. It can make you feel sick, ruin your day, put a big stall in your daily activities and worst of all ruin your train of thought. For Detective Downs, his worst enemy is not the kidnapper who just took a small child, or a job that is paying him very little, but a huge amount of depression that’s ruining how he thinks on the case. This is the most important case of his career, and this depression is ruining his chances in solving it.
Dirty Love (2004)
Hey Jenny McCarthy, it’s cute you want to take after your hero Lucille Ball, and it’s cute you have aspirations of being funny, but stop. Can you do that for me? Stop trying, and go away. Go away and live on whatever royalties you’re getting from your days on MTV. You’re not hot when you’re farting everywhere, and you never were. You’re not funny, and you never will be. I appreciate your willingness to pretend you’re outrageous, but why do you keep making a fool of yourself? It’s really embarrassing. “Dirty Love” is sad, only because it’s the last efforts of a failed comedienne to show audiences how “quirky” and “outrageous” she can be, and she does this by making a really bad movie.
Duma (2005)
“Duma” is basically the sort of film children can watch without damaging messages, and I’m all for that. These days it’s impossible to find watchable children’s films, but “Duma” treats its audience with consideration presenting heroes that are relatable, and an animal character that’s never goofy. “Duma” is an epic story about a father and son whom discover a baby Cheetah on the side of the road one night in their homeland. They take the baby back home with them and decide to raise it until its old enough to go on its own. But when young Xan’s father dies (Campbell Scott), Xan is forced to move back to the city with his mother along with Duma who can not adapt to his urban settings.
Stephen King's Desperation (2006)
I mean sure, “The Stand” had many biblical themes to it, and I don’t hold that against it basically because it’s my favorite television movie of all time, and my favorite King mini-series, but that’s because it never used the biblical themes so blatantly before. I have to say “Desperation” is one hell of a disappointment. It’s a cheesy, ridiculous, and utterly un-scary practice in babbling, that actually required a considerable amount of effort to sit through. After weeks of anticipation and excitement, I finally tuned in and basically zoned out by the second hour. If there’s any indication that producers have run out of material for Stephen King min-series, it’s “Desperation”.
Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005)
All horror fans are familiar with the bumbling of Morgan Creek and their insistence on kicking out experienced director and screenwriter Paul Schrader in exchange for the hack Renny Harlin to direct the prequel to “The Exorcist”. We didn’t need a prequel, but if the studios felt that they could have drained one more film from this franchise, then they could have and should have done it right in the first place. After all the problems, “Dominion” was finally released, and while it will never win any awards, I enjoyed it more, not to mention I found it to be more consistent in quality. “Dominion” is basically the same deal. Father Merrin, disenchanted with the church, goes out on archaeological expeditions, finds an underground church, and faces against the demon. Except, Schrader’s film is much more coherent and cohesive.
Dear Frankie (2004)
What would you do to protect your child? Now, before you view what the mom in “Dear Frankie” does, keep asking yourself. What would you do to protect your child? What lengths are you willing to go to to see that they’re not emotionally shattered, or ruined by reality? The answer is always the same. While not original, and bound to give you a cavity afterwards, “Dear Frankie” is a simple and dreamy family flick about a single mom named Lizzie who lives with her young deaf son Frankie in their flat.