I Declare War (2014)

I guess you can make the argument that “I Declare War” is something of a variation of The Stanford Prison Experiment where we’re given a glimpse in to set roles and the extremes taken with them. Instead “I Declare War” is filled with nothing but preteens and some teenagers and presents a very deceitful set up. While it’s true the film is about a bunch of kids playing war in the woods, the film is not for all ages. It’s a very adult film, and that’s one of the reasons why I wasn’t quick to give up on it once it ran out of steam mid-way. This is how kids act. They’re violent, and swear a lot. They’re wiser than anyone thinks, they can be vulnerable, and courageous, and through and through, they have their own personal rivalries with one another that can take a turn for the disturbing.

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Motel Hell (1980): Collector’s Edition [Blu-Ray/DVD]

I’ve seen “Motel Hell” almost five times in the last two years and goodness knows I’ve tried so hard to love it. At risk of getting my horror fan boy card revoked, I sincerely do not like “Motel Hell.” Kevin Connors’ horror comedy is a silly and often dull attempt to ape “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” I’m one who has often found much of what unfolds in “Motel Hell” absolutely dull and monotonous with the attempts at absurdity kind of forced and tedious. It’s almost like “Eaten Alive” where there’s another effort to catch lightning in a bottle that just doesn’t quite hit its mark. And I’d still rather see Tobe Hooper’s “Eaten Alive” than ever really re-watch “Motel Hell” ever again.

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Robot Ninja (1989)

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J.R. Bookwalter‘s movie about a comic book artist that becomes a superhero seems to have had a budget of fifty bucks. Because of that much of the movie’s elements are sacrificed. This includes common sense, continuity, logic, a coherent story, tolerable acting, and even the most fundamental special effects. Somewhere embedded in the seams of this nearly unwatchable farce is a good movie. But the director spends more time trying to get mileage out of the cameos by Linnea Quigley and Burt Ward, than he does trying to elicit a genuinely good narrative. Who can blame him when the movie garners a cast of terrible unknowns? I’m surprised Ron Jeremy doesn’t pop up at some point.

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Ginger Snaps (2000): Collector’s Edition [Blu-ray/DVD]

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Great werewolf films are hard to come by, so it’s a shock to see such an under the radar low budget horror film like “Ginger Snaps” not only get the formula right, but make its own mark in the sub-genre. Most times, the entire werewolf motif has been used to convey feelings of oppression and unbridled savagery as we saw with “The Howling,” and “The Wolfman,” but director John Fawcett aims toward a more feminine message. This werewolf film is about lycanthropy as a metaphor for blossoming in to womanhood. With such overtones and outright straight forward explorations of the themes, “Ginger Snaps” surprisingly knows how to balance its narrative themes well.

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Ravenous (1999) [Blu-Ray]

I’m one of the many fools that didn’t give “Ravenous” a chance when it premiered in 1999. In fact I openly avoided it for many years, convinced it was just a splatter film and nothing more. True, while it is a classic cannibal movie and survival film, “Ravenous” is so much more. It’s a layered and very unique satire on America’s consumption of the world, and how that becomes very much a practice for one general who is convinced that consuming his fellow man will give him power to conquer the world and also select who is fit to survive in his world.

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Repo Man (1984)

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I sat watching Alex Cox’s “Repo Man” with a gaping mouth and sheer bewilderment from beginning to end. Director Cox assembles a slew of various sub-genres and sub-sub-genres, along with a seasoned cast of brilliant actors to concoct a surreal mind fuck that I was never bored by. In fact, I loved it right through to the very end. It’s existentialism, it’s social commentary, it’s punk rock, it’s action, it’s dark comedy, it’s comedy, it’s musical, it’s aliens, it’s crime, it’s a road trip movie, it’s a one of a kind anomaly with Emilio Estevez at his best.

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Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988)

Our favorite transphobic slasher is back with a follow-up to the original shocker, and as suspected, “Unhappy Campers” fails to live up to the gasps that followed the original film’s surprise ending. There really are no other surprises we can derive from this premise anymore, so “Unhappy Campers” is a slasher comedy with such flimsy production quality, it’s actually very charming. How can you not enjoy Angela’s gallery of maimed corpses, most of whom can be seen breathing or struggling to keep still on close up shots? It’s a gas.

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