Malice in LaLaLand (2010)

Lew Xypher’s porn “Malice in LaLaLand” is a wildly visual and unique porn flick that takes the entire Alice in Wonderland tale to a whole new level. Sure, it’s basically a fuck flick, but it’s also a very original and surreal trip in to the psyche of a young girl named Malice who is locked in an insane asylum and through her sub-conscious manages to travel in to LaLaLand where she confronts unreal monsters, wild creatures, and hot women all of whom inhabit this world. What’s interesting is that this world Malice travels may or may not be in all in her head, and she manages to escape the confines of her asylum with the help of a mysterious rabbit that breaks her free and helps her find the rabbit hole that brings her in to this journey of the mind.

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Machete (2010)

Robert Rodriguez proves with “Machete” that his and Tarantino’s little experiment entitled “Grindhouse” was much more of a failure than fans originally suspected. While both of their original films were basic flops at the box-office, Rodriguez is given another shot with “Machete” a film that began life in popularity as a mock grindhouse trailer before “Planet Terror” and eventually became a feature length film. And much like most of Rodriguez’ films, he takes what could have been an amazing premise and turns it in to a scattered, confusing, and muddled piece of action cinema that throws a host of characters at the screen, all of whom he can barely keep up with at one time.

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Monsters (2010)

monsters_3Gareth Edwards science fiction horror flick is a grim picture, and one nowhere near intent on offering a positive look on humanity and a new world. What he instead does is spotlight a new world where one side has learned to co-exist with a new breed of creatures that crash landed on Earth, while the more privileged side of the world is so intent on refusing to admit the inevitable that they’ve built possibly the largest wall to separate them from the rest of society. Edwards’ genre offering while essentially a monster movie with carnage and shocks is also a thought provoking piece on society and two views on it looking down at two characters who see more than they ever have in a matter of forty eight hours.

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Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979)

life-of-brian_1374284cMonty Python takes no prisoners with what is a movie based around the stupidity, hypocrisy and inherent fallacies of religion, and the entire idea of martyrdom, in which a man named Brian seeking only to gain some sense of importance is suddenly a messiah and god, and only by accident. He has the origins of a normal Biblical figure, but after encountering Romans, mindless followers, moronic praisers, violent apostles, and the like, Brian mid-way discovers that he really never wanted to be anywhere near as important as the boy born in the manger next to him named Jesus.

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Mortal Kombat: Rebirth (2010)

4423124_f520At the end of this, I don’t know if I’ll be writing a review for a fan film, a review for a promotional reel for a director shopping around to sell this new vision or just a glorified game promo for an up and coming new game of the “Mortal Kombat” universe, but as someone who played this game religiously, I had to offer up my thoughts. I can only imagine someone sat down in front of a monitor, was watching “The Dark Knight” and said: “We have to take this approach.” And what we inevitably have is a grim and grotesque take on the Mortal Kombat universe.

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Mirrors (2008)

NEyYiFyEVkw2CA_1_1I don’t know what exactly was going on with the production in Alexandre Aja’s remake of the 2003 Asian horror film “Geoul sokeuro,” but as it stands, this remake is probably one of the most inadvertently comical horror films of the last five years. The marketing campaign for this film promised one of the most insane genre outings we’ve ever seen, and I knew I was in trouble when I began to chuckle at Kiefer Sutherland screeching at the sight of his deformed doppleganger in his bathroom window. Everything about “Mirrors” has the potential to turn in to a bonafide horror masterpiece, and instead we’re given nothing but fake scares, clunky dialogue, and writing that is just atrocious.

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My Name Is Bruce (2007)

0000214850In the climax of this horror comedy Bruce Campbell who is playing Bruce Campbell is staring down two executives after the screening of his latest horror film and proclaims “The Fans Deserve Better.” I honestly don’t think he believes that anymore. Because for what I’ve seen over the last few years, Campbell is very aware that he is now riding on his cult reputation more than anything and is strictly winging it in terms of entertainment and original horror films. Campbell who has become somewhat of an icon over the decades by making bad movies and appearing in conventions eventually became a joke. Then there’s this 2007 monstrosity that further emphasizes Campbell the joke while also acting as an obvious vanity project that pretends to be for the fans but really feels like it’s for Bruce.

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