If I could have a wish for Christmas, it’d be to take Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, anyone from “American Idol,” and the Duff Sisters, strap them into a bus, drive it off a cliff, and then shit on the charred remains. “Material Girls” is proof that you don’t need brains, talent, or appeal to have a considerable hit film. You just need connections, the right marketing, and a great idea of your niche audience. Fans of the Duffs finally have a film to look forward to while they’re doing their nails and staring off into space. The Duffs aren’t the Barrymores, that’s obvious.
Tag Archives: M
Masters of Horror: Pelts
I am not one who is all about the gore. Granted, I loves me some blood splatter, and I’m not opposed to torture, but I also like it when it’s accompanied by a story, or at least engaging characters. “Pelts” essentially doesn’t have compelling characters, but the story is entertaining. I was not a fan of Dario Argento’s prior effort, “Jenifer.” I thought it was bland, Stephen Weber’s performance was cartoonish, and the climax was brutally predictable. “Pelts” is a step up in the gore department, and in the plot. It takes the concepts of furs turning against the people holding them, and never exhausts itself. “Pelts” pulls out all the stops, not only in the gore, but in the grueling scenes of self-mutilation, and it’s typical Argento. Meatloaf plays a vicious and rather slimy fur buyer who works his factory workers to the bone, and aspires for quality.
Masters of Horror: Pro-Life
I love Ron Perlman. Whether as the bad ass demon ass kicker “Hellboy,” or in a long-winded turkey like “Desperation,” there are not many instances where he can lose with me. In “Pro-Life” his performance is powerful, and I utterly loved him as the anti-abortion terrorist doing anything to get his daughter back from the clinic. He’s the highlight, here. “Pro-Life” drops down on a reality where abortion clinics have armed guards and fences that keep out protestors. Apparently, this is the near future but nonetheless, the whole concept of Carpenter’s installment is to somewhat paint the pro/anti-abortion issue into a more horrific light.
Masters of Horror: Sounds Like
The new installment “Sounds Like” is not so much a horror story with blood and guts, but an examination of a man who has special hearing. Special hearing that serves as a great service to his company, and a curse. As all gifts are. He can hear when a service rep at his software company is about to become angered at a customer, and he fires them upon this instinct, yet he was also able to hear the defect in his son’s heart before his death. Brad Anderson’s installment is a solid character study, a facet of the horror genre he’s strived in with “Session 9,” and the excellent “The Machinist.”
Mantis (2005)
The whole perception of society, marriage, and spousal abuse is put under the microscope, as director Foster-Algoo examines the whole picture of man and woman and how many times men can be victims too. Director Brendon Foster-Algoo first sets up the film as Adam is with his children in a stand off, and he’s depicted as a somewhat possessive husband. But throughout the course of the film, we not only learn that abuse is not just a woman’s cross to bear, but he also challenges our thoughts on the sexes, and how we instantly perceive the man as the violent aggressor, and the woman as the submissive persona. The funny thing is many of you won’t realize that you’ve made a snap judgment, and that’s what Foster-Algoo aspires and succeeds with.
Miami Vice (2006)
Mann is in quite a predicament with “Miami Vice” a remake of his hit show from the eighties. He created a show that was ahead of its time, a gritty realistic show about two cops in the underground, years subsequent to the shows success and ending, over a thousand imitations popped up in film, television, and novels, and the formula became old. The sad state of Mann’s adaptation of his own work is that “Miami Vice” was edgy in its time, but these days we’ve had so many gritty cop flicks with a black and white officer partnership, that the concept presented here is just tired and feels simply like a vehicle for its two stars.
Monster House (2006)
It’s amazing what great voice acting, engaging characters, and wonderful animation can do for a film, isn’t it? When all is said and done “Monster House” is enough of a horror film to please the open-minded horror fan, and enough of a children’s film to keep them utterly entertained. I admit to writing off “Monster House” upon its arrival, only because while the film is wonderful, the story isn’t exactly original (ahem—Robert Wise’s “The Haunting”, anyone?), but the combination of a strong script, and truly down to Earth characters make “Monster House” a short but very entertaining piece of horror fantasy that reaches down into really human themes of loneliness, death, and puberty. What many will enjoy about this film is that it’s very much in the spirit of classics like “The Monster Squad” and “The Goonies”, in which we have a small group of kids whom are also outcasts that have to take on a giant obstacle when no one will stand in and help them out.