I will never understand the reasoning behind Frank Miller ever wanting to direct his own superhero movie. It’s not that he’s directing a movie, either, it’s that he’s directing a movie in the style of Robert Rodriguez’s fast and cheap process where he merely places his cast in front of a green screen for ninety percent of his film. And we must endure a hundred minute crime thriller with people that stumble around a CGI world. Frank Miller has no idea how to grasp at anything other than dark, violent, and gritty thus he takes Will Eisner’s groundbreaking comics and tacks it on to his “Sin City” neo-noir universe. Miller doesn’t outright say it to us, but Miller wants us to very much believe that “The Spirit” is a shared universe with “Sin City.”
Tag Archives: Martial Arts
The Phantom (1996)
Simon Wincer’s “The Phantom” just doesn’t get any respect, damn it, and I think it deserves a lot more than it receives from movie fans. Not only does director Wincer embrace the source material of the Phantom, but he casts someone like Billy Zane, who fits so well in to the mold of the Phantom, it’s eerie. I just wish more audiences appreciated the boldness of the pulp hero sub-genre for “The Phantom” to have caught on and perhaps spawn a movie series. The best we got in the nineties was a pretty awesome animated series that provided a futuristic spin on Lee Falk’s comic strip superhero. “The Phantom” is a sleek and breezy action film in the vein of “Indiana Jones” that finds Zane as Kit Walker.
Superargo and the Faceless Giants (1968)
I like the premise behind “Superargo,” and while he’s not the most competent superhero, I think in the serial world he could have thrived. The Spanish Italian superhero is a wrestler who once accidentally killed one of his opponents. Seeking redemption he spends his time as a superhero known as Superargo. Superargo is a man who has a ton of superpowers, none of which are ever too effective against his enemies in “The Faceless Giants.” He knows martial arts, and has the power to persuade people to do his bidding. He can also hover in mid-air as a means of meditation, can bend matter to his will, and is apparently bullet proof when it’s convenient to the narrative.
Never Too Young to Die (1986) [Blu-Ray/DVD]
If you’ve ever never seen “Never Too You to Die,” you’re not prepared to comprehend what entirely unfolds. The narrative takes all kinds of wild directions from a martial arts film, a science fiction movie, a terrorist movie, and hell, even a musical. Think “Die Hard” and “Escape from New York” mixed with “Gymkata,” and you’re almost there. Except there’s Gene Simmons going whole hog as a hermaphroditic/transsexual terrorist!
Mortal Kombat: The Journey Begins (1995)
The first time I ever saw “Mortal Kombat” was in 1992 when I stopped by a grocery store on the way to school and saw a pair of guys battling one another on the arcade cabinet. Though “Street Fighter 2” was huge, “Mortal Kombat” made its own waves by realistic character models and some of the most vicious video game violence ever conceived in its era. So came the 1995 movie where not even then was there this much babbling about supernatural forces, and tournaments. “The Journey Begins” works overtime to build a mythology from this simple video game, and fails big time. It feels like someone at Threshold Studios were alerted about the upcoming movie and only had about two weeks to build a respectable animated tie-in.
Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)
Where else but an Andy Sidaris film can you watch a movie involving drug smuggling gangster, a busty pair of Blonde mercenaries running around in short shorts, and a sub-plot involving a sneaky venomous snake prone to popping up in oddest places? And what’s more is that “Hard Ticket to Hawaii” is played with the utmost sincerity, as director Sidaris unfolds a movie that’s as deliciously bad as its theme song. If there’s any film that should act as an entry point for Andy Sidaris’ repertoire, “Hard Ticket to Hawaii” is a great summary of what Sidaris is capable of. “Hard Ticket…” is often silly and so utterly awful from acting to sound mixing, but it embraces its trappings by injecting as much softcore sex and nudity as humanly possible. Did I mention the sub-plot involving the killer snake (read: obvious hand puppet) that spends its time sneering through crevices and murdering random characters?
Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. (1990) [Blu-Ray]
Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz’s “Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.” is that kind of zany superhero spoof that, with some watering down, probably could have been a Warner Bros. cartoon in the nineties. After having such immense success with Toxie, Troma makes a second grab for cult fame, hoping to catch lightning in a bottle once again. Thankfully, not only is Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. one of Troma’s most iconic and popular characters who stands proudly beside Toxie, but his movie is good to boot. “Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.” is filled with the typical Troma tropes that make it such a blast. The acting is iffy, the violence is gruesome, the humor is off the wall and original, and the pacing is break neck.