Lurking Fear (1994)

lurkingfear-1994Courtney Joyner’s “Lurking Fear” is classic Full Moon Entertainment from the nineties. It has a modicum of a budget, some great production value and a solid horror story. Thought it’s a loose adaptation of the HP Lovecraft tale, it does take the elements and combine them to form a classic folklore horror tale about greed and criminals getting their comeuppance. John Martenses is an ex convict who has just been released from prison and is seeking a new start. As well as the fortune apparently left behind by his family.

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Bump in the Night: The Complete Series (DVD)

bumpRejoice “Bump in the Night” fans, Mill Creek has re-released the entire series of your beloved stop motion animated series on DVD. Every single episode is included in the new release, including the once rare episodes like “Night of the Living Bread” and “Twas the Night Before Bumpy.” Every single frame is included from every episode, so you can breathe easily, and pop in your DVD’s to celebrate one of the many misunderstood animated gems of the nineties.

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Starchaser: The Legend of Orin (1985)

star-chaserA long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, uh—I mean, many moons ago in a distant universe, there lived a young miner and slave named Orin. He was a long haired heroic young man who mined for red gems for an advanced race for… whatever reason. It’s never fully explained. One day while in the mines, Orin and his other slaves discover a long lost hilt from a mystical sword that contains advanced powers. Convinced by his friends to break free and fulfill the destiny from he magical entity within the sword, Orin breaks out from his imprisonment with girlfriend Elan, and seeks his destiny.

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Krampus (2015)

Krampus-1Michael Dougherty is brilliant at completely rethinking and reformatting our image of popular holidays and the lore the masses have subscribed to for centuries. After doing an amazing job with Halloween, Dougherty tackles Christmas with what is easily one of the most demented holiday horror films ever made. “Krampus” is an intelligent horror comedy based around the lunacy of the holiday and how the hollow rituals and traditions practiced can build a sense of cynicism and pure hatred for what is supposed to be a fine time of year.

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You Have to See This! Nightmare Sisters (1987)

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Watching so many independent movies over the years, you can tell when a movie was made on a limited budget, and “Nightmare Sisters” shows big time. That’s not a caveat, but it is blatantly obvious that director David DeCoteau made this film as a quick shoot in a set the studio could actually afford. That only really adds to the charm of “Nightmare Sisters,” and the enduring cult appeal of the film that teamed the horror scream queen heavyweights Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens, and Michelle Bauer together. It’s no shock that allegedly DeCoteau made “Nightmare Sisters” with left over film and money from “Sorority Babes in the Slime Ball Bowl O Rama.”

You could literally watch the pair as a double feature and never miss a beat as their premises are similar, as are their darkly comic tones. Nerdy Melody, Marci and Mickey spend their days wiling the time away on their goofy hobbies. Anxious to go on dates, they invite the three pledges from the local frat over for a fun night, and despite their reservations the three geeky gentlemen oblige hoping to get laid. After a boring night, antique collector Marci brings out her magic orb for a fun séance. The nerdy threesome are turned in to voracious nude sex starved vixens. Little do the three frat boys know, the girls are hungry, but it’s not for sex.

“Nightmare Sisters” doesn’t take itself seriously and approaches the entire material with a stern tongue in cheek, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t supply a darn good premise with oodles of potential for a wider scope. It would have been entertaining to see the trio of vixens walking around the local college in the buff feasting on men and seducing literally everyone in to a state of amorous paralysis. But you make due with what you can and you’re thankful to see three insanely sexy and charismatic women taking the roles so over the top, they’re never afraid to be goofy.

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Quigley, Stevens, and Bauer even play nerds well, especially when the costumes and effects falter. Quigley dons a goofy set of fate buck teeth and walks hunched over awkwardly for most of the movie, Stevens dons thick glasses and primarily relies on being utterly boring, while Bauer’s shtick is the funniest, and most Politically Incorrect. “Nightmare Sisters” relies on the classic eighties device of fat shaming, as Bauer’s character is the heavy of the trio, spending her time gorging over food. It becomes comical in its horrible effect, as Bauer simply doesn’t look overweight. It’s clear the producers merely put thick clothing on Bauer and layered them atop one another to give off the impression Bauer’s character Mickey is obese.

It becomes blatantly ridiculous when we see her “fat” body over her very thin set face. But then again “Nightmare Sisters” thrives on the eighties stereotypes and never apologizes for it. Much of the first half of the movie revolves around exposition and setting up a lot of the scenarios for the future, exploring how unpopular the girls are and their discussions on how boring Marci has a fetish for collecting mysterious antiques from every corner of the country. This comes in to play in the second half when the magic ball is introduced, allowing at least some foreshadowing rather than the character just pulling the plot device out of thin air.

It’s also good to note the comedic peeks at how dull she can be when Stevens shows up dressed as a schoolgirl. There’s a heavy emphasis on Micki eating for a great reason as when she finally becomes an insanely sexy vixen, she shoves a peeled banana down her mouth and deep throats it without even missing a beat. I’m not sure if it’s great editing or if Bauer can actually pull off the trick, but it’s a damn memorable scene, and Bauer’s sex appeal increases every second she’s on screen in her home made cave girl outfit.

It also becomes plainly obvious that the comedic focus on Quigley’s character’s tone deafness will transform in to an inevitable musical number where she can suddenly belt out a tune and look amazing doing so. As predicted, Quigley commits to a performance of the excellent rock tune “Santa Monica Blvd. Boys,” which she often sang with her band The Skirts. Quigley is a born performer, and though the song has almost nothing to do with the movie’s narrative, it’s a fun diversion.

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DeCoteau knows exactly what kind of people he’s working with, so once the women transform in to deadly vixens, there are endless moments of them scampering around and desperately trying to seduce the unsuspecting frat boys that came to their party. Things take a twist when more popular frat boys kidnap the original male guests and take their place as sexual partners. This series of events goes painfully awry, as they immediately become food for the trio of succubi.

When protagonist Kevin and their friends do everything in their power to resist the sexual allure of the trio of vixens, we meet the Exorcist, a priest played by Jim Culver who also pulls off resisting their feminine wiles and adds some comic levity to the already silly events. The women make good use of their partners by feasting on their essence through their testicles, making for some of the funnier moments of terror. Just think of being with someone like Michelle Bauer only to have her dig in to you with a mouth full of sharp teeth. “Nightmare Sisters” takes from the formula of “Sorority Babes in the Slime Ball Bowl O Rama” and offers up a new kind of wish granting in the form of succubi, and there are no better people to exemplify the ideal image and allure of succubus than Michelle Bauer, Brinke Stevens, and Linnea Quigley.

Over the years, “Nightmare Sisters” has gained a cult following thanks to its rarity, but is really a testament to low budget film making. It works on a slim narrative, low budget, and little resources, but still works as a goofy, silly, and entertaining bit of horror comedy. It also has the privilege of featuring the top scream queens of the eighties starring, offering up their prime assets for the camera and devouring unsuspecting men.

Gods of Egypt (2016)

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Alex Proyas’ latest genre effort has come under a lot of fire mainly for reasons of whitewashing, but after viewing “Gods of Egypt,” it’s no more a white washed endeavor than Harryhausen’s “Clash of the Titans,” or “Ben Hur.” When taken at face value and appreciated as a fantastic take on the mythology, “Gods of Egypt” is an entertaining and engrossing experience, and one I would have had a good time with during a quick Sunday matinee. Proyas constructs an interesting world and I wanted to see how the events would ultimately unfold in what becomes an unlikely buddy action film centered on a God and a mortal finding their own revenge against another God seeking immortality.

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Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015)

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The sequel to Genndy Tartakovsky’s entertaining “Hotel Transylvania” is what I’d define as blatant cash grab. It’s a follow up with a very typical and broadly written turn of events, what narrative it offers for the follow up is slim and often times nowhere to be found, all the while the sequel as a whole feels like a glorified pilot for the inevitable “Hotel Transylvania” TV show. I almost expect an announcement after the initial sales for the home video release about a TV show coming down the pipe. The movie essentially sets up characters for a TV series, and it’s barely competent as a sequel. Of course rather than focus on the dynamic between Mavis and new husband Johnny, we now view them as parents.

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