Tag Archives: Monsters

Sexy Rangers (2011)

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The original title for the film is “Big Boob Squad: Sexy Rangers.” Because based on the film, there’s something called Pai Energy that’s emitted from women’s “big bountiful breasts.” This somehow is the source of the power for the Sexy Rangers and their mission to fight crime and save—big boobs? I’m not sure, as I was distracted by the jiggling and colorful outfits. It’s clear that “Sexy Rangers” is a spoof of “Super Sentai,” and I was surprised to see how much fun this movie was. Even without the big boobs, it has its charms. The “Boob Squad” even has a robot sidekick named Pai 02 that has two huge eyes that resemble breasts. Somewhere Fred Olen Ray is watching from the sidelines with a proud smile a la Mr. Miyagi.

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Pumpkinhead (1988)

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“Pumpkinhead” is one of the many horror movies from the eighties that is unparalleled. It’s a movie series that opens with a bang and continues on with many inferior sequels. Alas, “Pumpkinhead” remains a single entry horror revenge thriller, depending on how you prefer to look at the storyline. That said, “Pumpkinhead” is a fine and atmospheric yet flawed revenge thriller that features some pretty incredible special effects by the late great Stan Winston, who also directs. And how can you not like Lance Henriksen?

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Agency of Vengeance: Dark Rising (2014)

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Surely, “Agency of Vengeance” is a silly movie, but one that’s often really indecisive about itself. Sometimes it aims for a straight forward horror actioner, and then other times it seems to mock its own premise, with goofy meta-storytelling. When a character is confronted with an evil minion asking “Why are you doing this?” he responds “Because. I’m the bad guy.” In either case, I wasn’t aware this is a sequel of a 2007 movie called “Dark Rising: Bring Your Battle Axe” which seemed more fantasy oriented. Thankfully you don’t have to track down that film, to see this one, as there are flashbacks and a lot of exposition to play catch up with.

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Deep in the Darkness (2014)

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Plot holes, plot holes, and more plot holes! It’s just another title from the ever growing library of horror groaners from Chiller Films. Colin Theys’ “Deep in the Darkness” is an amalgam of “The Wicker Man,” “The Descent,” and a bit of “Rosemary’s Baby” for good measure. “Deep in the Darkness” is yet another horror movie that promises it’s building up to something, and then sputters out like a deflated balloon, forcing the audience to realize they’ve spent ninety minutes watching nothing. Nothing at all. What in the name of all that is sane did that final scene even mean?

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Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You! (2012)

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You know a movie fails to hold your attention when you’re spending more time marveling at the setting of the film than the film itself. I really should move to New Hampshire, it looks like a beautiful place to live in. And there is no shortage of scenes depicting suburbs and town halls that look incredible when filmed. In either case, “Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You!” is a giant missed opportunity of a horror comedy that seems to have tacked on the monster called the Riverbeast in to a dramedy about a tutor, and a woman he’s trying to impress. I was never sure on the specifics of the story, since it’s a pretty tedious movie.

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Godzilla: The Complete Animated Series (DVD)

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Sony really overplayed their hand in 1998 with “Godzilla.” Not only did they overestimate the appeal of a Godzilla unlike Toho’s Godzilla, but they also accompanied the movie with a bunch of merchandise no one liked, and a series that lasted forty episodes total. So if you have fourteen hours to kill, you can check out what happened after the end of “Godzilla.” Whether you call him Zilla, Godzilla, Notzilla, or GONI (Godzilla In Name Only), the extension of the 1998 Roland Emmerich is given more mythos than it deserves, with its focus more on genetic monsters and underwater creatures than anything.

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Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)

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The dilemma that the writers for the “Paranormal Activity” series now find themselves in is that “Paranormal Activity 3” was a prequel that told us everything we needed to know about this mythos. We began with Katie, continued with her sister, and then found out why they were so special. The third film ended the saga. Now, the continuing sequels are really just running on fumes and scrambling to find ways to continue a story that doesn’t really need continuing. “The Marked Ones” is a great effort, but a sub-par horror film.

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