I remember seeing you in “The Blob” when I was a wee lad. I used to watch it every other day on WPIX Channel 11 before it was taken over by the WB, and even though most of the film was edited and chopped up, I watched not only because it’s one of the best remakes of all time, but because, well, you’re really hot. I remember being ten always watching “The Blob” before I went to bed. The movies always started at eight and, come hell or high water, they ended at ten for the news, and that’s okay, because that’s when I went to bed. I remember being ten and watching your sweet self running around screaming and just being an all around hotty, even when in the sewer all wet and dirty.
Tag Archives: Monsters
Mutant League: The Movie (1996)
I always get a laugh from people who pretend to be shocked that someone would dare create an animated series intended to tout merchandise to children. Though the series “Yu Gi Oh” was god awful, many people pretended to be appalled that it existed solely to sell cards. Attention people: this has been common practice as far back as the late sixties. Some of the greatest and most beloved animated TV shows in America were created just to sell or market toys. “Transformers” was nothing but a massive toy commercial, for god sake. The nineties were littered with many attempts to create a marketable toy franchise, and there were as many memorable misses as there were hits.
Basket Case (1982)
Sometimes with the good Grindhouse titles of the seventies and eighties, there are also the truly awful ones that make it through the ringer and come out looking pretty. Unfortunately Frank Henenlotter’s “Basket Case” is a piece of junk that has managed to garner a massive reputation as a horror classic. For what reasons? I have no idea. I guess because Henenlotter is such a creative and interesting director. I won’t lie, a movie about a guy walking around with his deformed brother in a basket is original, but that doesn’t mean it’s watchable. Duane Bradley is an average guy with a large secret who has just made it in to New York, and is living in a hotel with some of the most idiotic neighbors around. They’re all so eccentric and colorful it becomes obnoxious after their second introduction.
Soulkeeper (2001)
It’s almost disturbing how much of a dead ringer Rodney Rowland is for David Keith at times during “Soulkeeper.” For a short time I used to think Rowland was Keith. That odd footnote aside, “Soulkeeper” is one of the more entertaining and underrated fantasy horror films I’ve ever seen, and it’s a shame it doesn’t garner a lot of attention or credit. It barely gets any focus by anyone, and that’s a shame. Frankly “Soulkeeper” is a strong and often entertaining fantasy horror film that creates a likable duo of inept heroes both of whom find themselves in a situation beyond their control for the fate of the world. Sadly, “Soulkeeper” hasn’t kept its age well and that’s due to the plot being pretty damn incoherent at times.
Wrath of the Titans (2012) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital Copy]
I’m surprised to admit that, for the most part, “Wrath of the Titans” is a rather entertaining and exciting follow-up to “Clash of the Titans.” In fact, it’s every bit as superior to the awful remake as possible, and often times manages to surpass the first film in the realm of storytelling and characterization. Granted, the film is not without its list of faults. The dialogue is anachronistic, and Perseus’s relationship with Andromeda and his beloved son is painfully under developed and trite, but “Wrath of the Titans” fixes most of the problems with the first film and forges a path for a respectable trilogy. I’m not going to rush out to purchase the “Titans” trilogy set when it’s unleashed years from now, but I’m not above re-watching these films again to see where it continues to improve.
Piranha II: The Spawning (1981)
Flying Piranhas! Flying fucking piranhas! How does one mess up a film about flying piranhas?! I would love to view “Piranha II” as a film experience that’s so bad it’s good, but in reality it’s so bad that it’s actually just bad. It’s no wonder James Cameron tries to pretend he had nothing to do with this film and disowns it like a stepchild. It’s a bad movie and one that poorly takes off from the concept the 1978 film laid down. It’s a shame that a movie that completely reworks the concept of killer piranhas in to something even cheesier basically doesn’t have a clue on how to handle the creatures.
Piranha (1978)
Admittedly up until this year I hadn’t actually seen Joe Dante’s “Piranha” before. And for folks who still haven’t seen it to this day in spite of its apparent cult status, Dante’s horror picture might be a little jarring. Tonally “Piranha” is unusual and quite surreal. The first half of the film is almost like a B dark comedy featuring drawn out bouts of exposition and a small stop motion bipedal fish walking around a secret lab for some inexplicable reason. The next half then suddenly becomes a stern straight faced horror film with the atmosphere amped up to eleven. It’s such an oddity on film that I couldn’t help but enjoy it from start to finish.