Tag Archives: Mystery

You’ll Never Find Me (2024)

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Now Streaming on Shudder. 

Equal parts silly and ambitious, “Youll Never Find Me” gets by in its first hour because the audience will definitely want to know what they’ve invested all their time in. Directors Indianna Bell, and Josiah Allen keep us in the dark about what this situation is boiling in to, and by the time we’ve decided that we really don’t want to see anymore, it’s too late. By then if we shut off the movie, it’ll all have been for nothing, so you pretty much have to stay to see what ultimately culminates from such a long drawn out horror film.

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Bad Movie Monday: Troll 2 (1990)

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I saw the original Troll many many moons ago, in the mythical faraway fantasy age of the late eighties, and it’s probably my favourite Harry Potter movie of all time. Har-Har. Go to the film’s IMDb page and look up the names of the characters to understand my rapier wit sarcasm. Troll stars Michael Moriarty, Noah Hathaway, Sony Bono, June Lockhart, Julia-Louis Dreyfus, and Phil Fondacaro. A pretty solid cast. It was directed by late great special effects artist John Carl Buechler and was written by the legendary Ed Naha. Google him, you’ll see why I call Naha legendary. The original film even has a kinda sorta naked Elaine Benes in a few scenes. What’s not to like? So today, of course, I’m going to review it’s sequel Troll 2. Sigh.

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Make the Call (2023) [Cinequest 2024]

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Chelsea Gonzalez’s short horror film really manages to be an outstanding piece of filmmaking from top to bottom. It’s a horror movie that’s teeming with social commentary about spousal abuse, domestic dysfunction, and our ability to sacrifice our own health to protect our own façade of domestic bliss. I loved every moment of “Make the Call” as writer Sal Neslusan knows how to perfectly explore this unusual situation within its small window of time and perfectly illustrate how these domestic situations can rip apart friendships and lives.

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Stephen King’s The Shining (1997) [Blu-Ray]

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Now Available on Physical Media from Scream Factory while the Original Novel is Also Available.

It’s no surprise that Stephen King did not like Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 version of “The Shining.” He’s gone on about it. And on. And on. And on. I’m sure he even brings it up whenever someone uses the word hotel, or Jack Nicholson, or axe, or twins. In either case, in 1997 Stephen King teamed up with long time collaborator Mick Garris to deliver a faithful, more epic version of “The Shining” and well—it’s fine. It’s an okay movie. It’s not a gem like Kubrick’s version but it’s not boring. And it has its supporters, if anything. And it’s aged pretty well, all things considered.

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The Ring Collection [4K Ultra HD/Blu-Ray]

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Available March 19th from Scream Factory.

In the age of analog horror and ARG’s, Hideo Nakata was so far ahead of his time, that it’s horrifying. His 1998 horror film “Ring” is a concept that, if realized today, would have probably been a hit series on Youtube. A cursed VHS tape featuring a dreaded short film with supernatural powers, a powerful demon sleeping within it, calling up those that view it, and giving them seven days to live. On the seventh day when the user fails to cut the curse or pass it on to someone else, they’re visited by an unfathomable terror. It’s the formula for a great horror film that sparked the huge J Horror boom of the early aughts that spawned a slew of Japanese Horror Films to either be imported to America, or remade in to hits in their own right.

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Late Night with the Devil (2024)

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Coming to UK Cinemas on March 22nd.

Cameron Cairnes & Colin Cairnes’s “Late Night with the Devil” might prove to be one of the best horror movies of 2024 and one of the best movies, period. In a year that’s been tough on horror so far, in swoops what is a wonderful amalgam of found footage, analog horror, and possession cinema. “Late Night with the Devil” carries the torch from gems like “Ghostwatch” and “WNUF Halloween Special” as a truly stellar mock documentary that places a great emphasis on dread and a larger narrative rather than cheap scares and gimmick.

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Imaginary (2024)

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Take a bit of “Insidious,” a dash of “Annabelle Comes Home” with a heaping spoonful of “Pinocchio’s Revenge” and you get what is another dull genre installment from Blumhouse Pictures. Once the beaming genre studio, Blumhouse seems to be contractually obligated to release at least two horror movies a year, no matter what, and “Imaginary” feels like more of an obligation than anything. It’s a convoluted, and often dull movie that seems to really want to be a cerebral tale about PTSD and mental illness.

But mid-way you can sense the producers intervene when the narrative suddenly veers off in to a more commercial dark pseudo-Gaiman horror fantasy involving magical beings, and a weird dimension for imaginary creatures.

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