The Bates Haunting (2012)

Posted on October 4, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

I’m sure Byron Turk thought the Bates Motel and Haunted Hayride was amazing, so setting a horror film in and around it would be amazing. It wasn’t. It was also likely going to be a good opportunity to promote the ride. Originally titled “Welcome to the Bates Motel,” the movie gives audiences the impression it has something to do with “Psycho,” when it really doesn’t. The owner of the haunted hayride is named Randy Bates, but that’s as far as it goes. Really, the only reason you’d be interested in seeing this is if you’re a “Jackass” fan. Bam Margera has a five second cameo for a commercial for the attraction, while the late hilarious Ryan Dunn plays an angry customer ordering a pizza. Beyond that, the tagline for the film “Some Things are Best Left Alone” should serve as instructions for anyone looking to rent this title.

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Riddle (2013)

Posted on October 4, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

It’s a movie about a girl solving a mystery in a town called Riddle. Soak that in. If anything, “Riddle” isn’t a complete loss of time when you consider that Elizabeth Harnois and co-star Diora Baird are mind-blowingly gorgeous. The pair can also provide good performances when given the right material. I’m still not sure why Elizabeth Harnois keeps being handed these roles that straddle the line between horror and drama. Is she trying to garner a fan base while not being pegged a horror scream queen? She’s very pretty and a decent performer. Diora Baird is now and will always be a bombshell of a woman, so her presence is welcome. She has charisma that make almost any movie watchable. That said, “Riddle” is not quite a drama, and not quite a horror film. It’s just right there in the middle for a broad audience.

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The House of Seven Corpses (1974)

Posted on October 4, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

As far as murder mystery movies about evil houses, “The House of Seven Corpses” is not a masterpiece. I’m by no means intent on watching it again for at least a few years, but it makes a good argument for nonsensical genre fodder that doesn’t even try. The main character’s cat gets in to a stare down with a painting on a wall featuring the head of a severed cat. There’s the “Tibetan Book of the Dead” that’s bandied about like it’s an encyclopedia, and did I mention a zombie pops up in the end? Why? Who the hell knows? The zombie just gets out of its grave, kills the entire cast, carries a naked girl to his grave, and the movie ends.

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Stephen King’s It (1990)

Posted on October 2, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

Stephen King creates the ultimate boogeyman and he is neither man nor monster, despite the visage of a clown called Pennywise. “Stephen King’s It” is filled with the usual King doldrums of a small town with hidden demons, and at least one character that wants to be an author. That said director Tommy Lee Wallace’s adaptation is a great horror film, and a perfectly good bit of nostalgia. “It” gets a lot of flack for deviating from the original novel, but considering it is a television movie, director Wallace does a bang up job. “It” for being only TV movie packs a ton of iconic horror moments, as well as an Oscar caliber performance by Tim Curry.

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Salem’s Lot (1979)

Posted on October 2, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

“Salem’s Lot” presents a very humanistic approach toward vampire folklore. Ben Mears, filled with desperation and literally nothing left to lose in the face of a fantastic situation, finds himself in a local morgue prepared to face down one of the unholy walking dead by taping together two tongue depressors and scotch tape, supplying a makeshift crucifix. This little device ultimately aids him in the battle with a horrific vampire who slowly rises from her sheet in all her terrifying glory. It about sums up the whole of “Salem’s Lot,” a film wrapped around despair and tension where a small town’s unrest and inner turmoil of infidelity and abuse is brought to the surface when faced with a hidden menace in the shadows, in the form of a vampire striking down town residents one by one.

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Child’s Play (1988)

Posted on October 2, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

You would think a horror movie about a killer doll would age after so many years. And you’d be correct. “Child’s Play” while not the worst movie ever made, certainly has lost much of its impact since its initial release. It’s not a horrifying movie by any means, but it’s not the worst of the killer doll sub-genre I’ve ever seen. Chucky may not be the Zuni Fetish Doll from “Trilogy of Terror” but he’s a charming horror character you love to hate.

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Silver Bullet (1985)

Posted on October 2, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

What Stephen King’s adaptation of “Cycle of the Werewolf” has going for it, beyond everything else, is heart. In many ways, “Silver Bullet” is a multi-faceted horror film that can appeal to fans of family dramas and murder mysteries. “Silver Bullet” is a tension soaked eighties horror film that demonstrates rich characterization and complex feelings with a villain who isn’t completely black and white when all is said and done. Even the worst afflictions can rot anyone who means well enough, and “Silver Bullet” shines a light on two characters with afflictions they can not battle who have potential to rot from the inside out. One individual has embraced the darkness, and the other insists on seeing the bright side of everything, even in the face of pain, misery, and pure evil staring him right in the face.

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