There is nothing worse than a slasher movie that takes forever to get going. Directors Michael Hoffman Jr. and Aaron T. Wells build a film almost two hours long that takes thirty minutes to really get in motion. I’m not averse to watching hot girls jiggle around and play in pools, but you have to give us something more if you’re not going to directly begin hacking characters to death. “Girls Gone Dead” doesn’t enter in to its actual plot until thirty minutes. The first half hour is nothing but filler and bad exposition. Save for a funny cameo from Linnea Quigley, the first half hour easily could have been cut or truncated for pacing.
Tag Archives: Mystery
The Howling: Collector's Edition (Blu-Ray) (1981)
After over thirty years, director Joe Dante’s “The Howling” has thankfully managed to survive its dated premise and concept, and remains a very good horror classic. While it’s surely not the best werewolf film I’ve ever seen (“An American Werewolf in London,” anyone?), it’s definitely a werewolf picture that stands above its contemporaries. It presents audiences with a steady and rich balance of slow burn mystery, werewolf terror, and some fun dark humor that’s peppered ever so lightly throughout the film.
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)
Russ Meyer had an utter fetish for curvy women. Especially curvy women with a large often intimidating bust. Many of whom are looked down upon, and that’s a damn shame. Anne Margaret, one of the sexiest women who ever lived was curvy, and the three women featured in “Faster Pussycat!” are also curvy bomb shells. One in particular, who happens to be my favorite, is Tura Satana, the curvaceous and busty stripper named Varla. “Faster Pussycat!” was considered porn at the time, but Director Russ Meyer loved to think he was better than simple porn, and he’d be correct in his assertion. This is much better than porn, because you can become aroused without feeling obligated to. Meyer prefers to titillate rather than undress his performers and arouse viewers in a Pavlovian routine.
They Live (Collector’s Edition) [Blu-ray]
Roddy Piper always seemed like an unusual choice for the role of Nada in John Carpenter’s “The Live” to me. Especially considering the film itself is less an action thriller, and more of a science fiction film that slowly elevates its horror when you consider how much this world reflects our own. The aliens themselves aren’t so much extra terrestrials, but are just us. They’re unrecognizable because they’ve submitted themselves to the decadence and subliminal commands of their overlords. The people that have chosen to act with them are akin to the Jews who chose to ally themselves with the Nazis. They’re slimy, but they’re acting on survival. The aliens have found a way to destroy society from the inside out, and we don’t actually realize it until we break the status quo and put on sunglasses.
My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)
No one is more exhausted with the torrent of needless remakes than I am, but I was shocked that Patrick Lussier’s treatment of the modern “My Bloody Valentine” is not only clever, but very entertaining. I was never a big fan of the eighties slasher classic, so it was a welcome treat to see Lussier treat the concept with respect, and add his own twist to it. “My Bloody Valentine” acts more as a tribute to the original film with a continuation of the storyline rather than actually try to re-capture the dark comedy of the original. This time around, “My Bloody Valentine” revolves the latter day town of Harmony that lives by the legend of Harry Warden, the psychotic pick axe killer who mutilated many during Valentine’s Day.
"Bates Motel" Pilot Review
Much like “Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles” was much more about the journey of Sarah Conner rather than the life of John Conner, “Bates Motel” is much more about the psychosis and sheer lunacy of Norma Bates, rather than the origin of Norman Bates.
The series, from what the pilot alludes, is very much going to lead in to the descent in to madness that Norman Bates takes. And it’s all thanks to his mother. She’s a very crafty and manipulative woman who seems to know so much more than she lets on.
You Have to See This! Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)
Russ Meyer was a man who loved breasts. He surely enjoyed the female form, but mostly he loved breasts. He fetishized them, worshipped them, and centered his entire career making films that idolized them in some form or another. Russ Meyer is one of the last directors who cast and adored curvy busty women, and though he’s written off sometimes as an exploitation director, Meyer definitely was a dying breed of male. Sure, breasts are still worshipped in today’s society, but not many directors have the guts to reveal them so much in their films.