5 Things We Love, and 5 Things We Hate About “Space Jam”

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I am very surprised that “Space Jam” continues to garner such a cult following, even to this day. I remember watching it for the first time back in 1996 and leaving it thinking “That kind of sucked.” Even years later, I remember it as a movie that did nothing but pander to audiences, push massive merchandise, and worked as a PR tool for Michael Jordan who’d garnered some poor fan fare after his foray in to baseball. “Space Jam” is not that good a movie.

Even in my current love for nineties nostalgia, you’d have to argue very hard for me to buy the movie on DVD or Blu-Ray. And I almost bought a bag of old pogs on online, a few days ago. In either case, Warner is hoping to cash in on fans of the first movie by creating a sequel tentatively titled “Space Jam 2.” This installment will apparently star Lebron James, in place of Michael Jordan.

1996’s “Space Jam” was a goofy movie, with a paper thin plot, and lackluster comedy obviously constructed by a committee of corporate suits, Jordan’s PR team, and some writers who built the perfect publicity machine for Air Jordan, all the while selling off some Looney Tunes crap with McDonald’s.

That said, we have our fond nostalgia for the movie, however minuscule, so here are 5 Things We Love, and 5 Things We Hate About “Space Jam.”

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Our Top 5 Childhood Animated Crushes

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Valentine’s Day is this Friday, folks. In celebration of the day that reminds a lot of people that they’re single, and forces a lot of people to buy presents for their loved ones out of sheer obligation, we’re featuring five animated characters from our childhood that we crushed on for many years. They stemmed from television, movies, or perhaps video games, and they’re five animated women we were definitely fond of and swooned over for a long time.

What animated characters did you crush hard on? Let us know!

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The PC Thug: You Can’t Keep a Good Zombie Down

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Okay, so I know not everyone enjoyed “Land of the Dead.”

Many people I spoke to during the time of its release seemed to hate it, though I persisted in my thoughts that it would eventually gain appreciation, much like “Day of the Dead” eventually did. I fondly remember many people telling me that “Day of the Dead” was a terrible film back in the early nineties, and now it’s considered a classic. Even director George Romero considers it his favorite.

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Our Top Ten “The Simpsons” Episodes of All Time: 3. Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in “The Curse of the Flying Hellfish”

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3. Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in “The Curse of the Flying Hellfish”
Season Seven
1996

Not much was ever made of Grandpa Simpson until the later seasons of the series, where we learned that he was a mean old codger. And sometimes for a good reason. Often times just because he was a jerk. In “Raging Abe Simpson,” it’s one of the most entertaining Grandpa-centric episode where we’re given an interesting dimension in to his youth. Bart Simpson also gets a crash course in to Grandpa’s life, when he learns he’s a part of a blood oath to collect priceless art as he’s close to being the last one standing in his troop of the Flying Hellfish. But Monty Burns breaks the oath by sending assassin Fernando Vidal out to get Grandpa.

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The PC Thug: A Little (Final) Rant on “Star Wars”

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Don’t get me wrong, I love Star Wars, I think it’s fun escapism that’s dunderheaded but still massively entertaining, but the prospect of the entire series being continued in such a hectic rush is irritating, if only because it feels like a car wreck waiting to happen. I’m glad Disney bought the rights for the series from Lucas, but we’re not sure what difference it will make yet.

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The Paradox of Cool

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One thing that’s immediately noticeable is that no one says anything is “cool” anymore. I understand that you will hear people say “that’s cool,” which would appear to contradict what I just said in the previous sentence, but you’re paying attention now and that’s good.

Coolness is a complex and elusive concept. People are commonly aware of the designations of “cool” versus “uncool,” but are not always certain how exactly to apply these distinctions. Is Justin Bieber cool? Lots of girls want to bang him; he drives flashy, expensive cars (and gets pulled over for speeding!); he vandalizes public and private property; and he’s overtly disrespectful to authority figures. He meets several qualifications for coolness, but saying Justin Bieber is cool is kind of like saying McDonald’s salads are healthy.

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Hooves and Fangs: Investigating Why Some Men Love My Little Pony, but No Men Love Twilight

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The word “brony” has become so loaded over time that it’s hard to use without bringing up unfortunate connotations. I’d like to leave aside the more… colorful aspects of the group and stick with the loosest definition possible: a brony is an adolescent or adult male who watches and enjoys the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. (To answer your inevitable question: Yes, I have watched the show. I do think it is very clever and has a lot of crossover appeal. The quality declines after the first season, but if you can get past your “ew, cooties!” mindset, you might find something you enjoy.) The show is so popular with males that a female fan is almost unusual and strange. When someone brings up MLP, as a citizen of the internet, you just kind of assume it’s a guy. Just as, if someone is fanatical over Loki, it’s reasonable to think they’re probably a girl. It’s an intriguing phenomenon: whereas a girl liking superheroes is unconsciously viewed as “trading up,” a boy liking something meant for girls is automatically viewed as shameful.

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