No seriously, is this a real movie? No seriously. And studios wonder why they’re in a state of decline. Now, I’ve never seen the original “Stepford Wives”, which I recall was more of a grim statement about feminism, but I can easily imagine that it was ten times better than this, as is always the case. So, as if there weren’t enough male bashing in this militant neo-feminist, politically correct age where men are inbred, dumb, fat monsters, and women are smart, beautiful, flawless beings, we get this ridiculous remake. Ridiculous is just me holding my tongue, mind you, because what I really want to call it, would offend even Lenny Bruce. In a nut shell, this is further male bashing about a male bashing society seeking revenge by male bashing those who are tired of being relegated to subservient positions.
Tag Archives: Remake
A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)
I’m not sure what warranted the comparison, but “A Tale of Two Sisters” ultimately reminded me very much of “Hide and Seek”, the recent horror dud I had the misfortune of watching. Both films are very much similar in tone, theme, and concept, but make no mistake, they are not the same. In spite of its excellent cover, this isn’t entirely a horror film per se. This is more, in the sense, a supernatural drama that really manages to pinpoint the underlying themes of psychological trauma and childhood pain that, regardless of how much we try, can not ever come to grips with while telling one damn fine story. Such is the situation with this utterly beautiful masterpiece that paints itself as horror, but really ends up becoming an allegory for something completely different.
The Amityville Horror (2005)
This does have some great elements that is a gleaming example of what this movie could have and should have been per the generous rating. Admittedly, I’m a real fan of Ryan Reynolds. He was good in that crap “Van Wilder”, and he was my favorite aspect of “Blade: Trinity”. He’s a genuinely good actor who has the ability to become one of the many huge over-exposed actors of the time. Reynolds gives a good performance and was convincing, and he’s really menacing when he begins going nuts. There’s a particularly great scene when he’s chopping wood and he’s making his stepson hold the wood and it’s so well directed and edited I was thinking “that’s how this movie should have been!”: tense, gritty, creepy, and just plain character-based.
Toolbox Murders (2004)
I’ll admit “The Toolbox Murders” will never win any awards in the horror field, but as a piece of pure mindless horror with gore galore, I dug it a lot simply for its schlock value, and so-stupid-it’s-good fun. When Nell and Steven move to Hollywood after Steven, a doctor gets a job at the local hospital, their apartment building is less than luxurious, and Nell has an instant uneasy feeling about the vibe of the building and has no idea there are murders going on all around her. She can hear and feel its bad atmosphere despite the landlord’s boasting that it’s just a Hollywood landmark, but once she begins suspecting her friends being murdered around her she delves into the shocking underbelly of the landmark and discovers its grizzly secret.
Man on Fire (2004)
The remake of the 1987 obscure action flick with Scott Glenn, Denzel Washington takes the mantle this time around as Creasy, an ex-soldier whose committed gruesome crimes and is desperately trying to seek penance and is constantly haunted by the fact of his crimes. He applies for a job to guard a very important business man’s daughter since there have been a rash of kidnappings under the rule of a mysterious mob boss, but when she’s Creasy is ambushed, shot down, and blamed, the girl kidnapped. he’s now on the hunt to find her and will stop at nothing to make all the people involved suffer miserably. I’ve never seen the original film starring Scott Glenn, so advantage: Hollywood, but that doesn’t mean this movie was anywhere near a ball to watch, especially since it’s far from anything I expected. You know, like a movie with a plot? What, you say, there is a plot! Show me it and I’ll credit you.
13 Going On 30 (2004)
“13 Going on 30” is fluff, and it knows it’s fluff, it’s embedded within the screenplay, and what makes this such a surprisingly enjoyable movie, is that the writer’s do not try to deny it and approach the situations with a humorless approach, but instead take it simply for what it is, and it works here. For a film basically compared to “Big”, being a basic remake and or sequel, it was marketed more for the female crowd along with a bit of a bittersweet approach to it that’s hard to find but is nonetheless fun once you get down to the seams.
