The original “Harold and Kumar” became one of my favorite comedies of all time after an attempt at giving it a fair chance while on cable television one night. Since then it’s been a constant favorite, and on a replay whenever boredom strikes. Even though it was a prime example of product placement, the stoner classic is utterly hilarious and serves as a testament to the talents of John Cho and Kal Penn. “Guantamo Bay,” though, inadvertently serves as an argument against sequels to any and all films. If some director had attempted to mimic the success of “Harold and Kumar” with less comedic punch, and much more forced social overtones, “Guantanamo Bay” would be pointed at, almost immediately. Because frankly, the only thing offensive about this sequel is that every race joke is horribly unfunny, while so blatantly setting up part three, that it’s almost insulting.
Tag Archives: Romance
The Hottie & the Nottie (2008)
“The Hottie and the Nottie” is nothing but a big game of “pretend” that director Putnam asks his audience to play along with, but… we can’t. Pretend Paris Hilton is hot, pretend Paris Hilton is one of the most desirable women on the planet, pretend the CGI used to cover Hilton’s fugly features isn’t there, pretend even with an utterly disgusting but sweet woman, that Paris hilton would be the better alternative, pretend this movie is funny, pretend this movie isn’t one of the worst comedies ever made. I can’t even pretend Paris Hilton is good looking, so from the start even with the body doubles (how did she get that ghetto booty?!) and trick camera angles, this “comedy” is a tall order and attack on my senses from the first twenty seconds. Because, a movie where Paris Hilton is a bombshell is less comedy and more Science Fiction.
The Dragon Painter (1919)
While I would have loved to adore “The Dragon Painter” and the story that unfolds, I can’t say that I did. For a movie made in 1919, Sessue Hayakawa’s film is a wonderful epic with some rather incredible splashes of stark color and sweeping landscapes. Even for a print that’s aged and was nearly lost the picture transfer for “The Dragon Painter” is awfully fantastic with crystal clarity, and an incredible score. Even those who dislike the movie will find some value in the backdrops and set pieces, including Hayakawa’s eagerness to break all stereotypes of the Asian culture.
Georgia Rule (2007)
My original thought process going in to “Georgia Rule” was to describe it as nothing more than a two hour sitcom worthy of a local family channel. Filled with every cliché in the book from an eccentric small town, an uppity wealthy socialite, and the local town folks who fill her with a sense of worth, this monstrosity is worthy of every bit of criticism that can be thrown at it. But midway it takes such a confusing stern dramatic direction that it’s just incredibly jarring to sit through. How we go from a big fish in small pond comedy to a Lifetime drama of the week is absolutely ridiculous, but lo and behold, director Gary Marshall tries to pass off the sudden change in this tone, and it’s far from anything resembling seamless or subtle.
It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown! (1974) (DVD)
Okay, so I don’t celebrate Easter, and I don’t particularly subscribe to the principles of Schulz’s comic and its strong religious themes, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with “Easter Beagle,” yet another classic Charlie Brown episode involving the gang and, what else, Easter! While Linus creates another sentient figure out of a holiday called the Easter Beagle, anxiously awaiting its gifts and bounty, Marcy and Peppermint Patty try to grasp the concept of coloring eggs while wasting food in the most disturbing of manners. Believe it or not, Marcie can’t figure out that you have to boil eggs before coloring them.
Hawk Jones (1986)
And now for a trip down memory lane: Back when I was a young lad, my dad used to look for kids movies we could watch whenever we were up to no good and around our block there was a store that had an incredible collection of movies for sale. The selection was absolutely fantastic, with movies that were very hard to find and rare, and became even more so once the Blockbuster’s and Netflix’s of the world choked them out. Either way, he bought us this movie called “Hawk Jones” on VHS for a mere five bucks and boasted about its surefire entertainment value. Well, he wasn’t incorrect.
I Fucking Hate You (2008)
Forsman and writers Kerr and Woods manage to not only add an implication of relationship discord, but also allude to many potential themes in the nine minute relationship dramedy that spotlights a recently split couple who are learning to cope without each other. Though they never really explain, it’s clear from the get go that these two have been through so much with one another and the cause of their inevitable split was both bitter and wrenching. Woods is rather superb as the inept Ron who just can’t seem to explain how much he still loves his ex Carol, who has moved on with her life and is in the middle of a much more fulfilling relationship.