The Incredible Melting Man [Blu-ray] (1977)

Neither a Man nor Incredible. He’s barely a “The,” director William Sachs’ science fiction horror doubles also as a melodrama featuring characters you really don’t care about. How many times can character Ted Nelson mention his wife having a baby, or his efforts to have a baby, or his aspirations to father a baby? What importance does it have to the overall premise of “The Incredible Melting Man”? Nothing, really. It’s an effort to garner sympathy for a series of lifeless characters.

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The Twilight Zone: The Complete Fourth Season (DVD)

Ah the season of “The Twilight Zone” where every episode were extended in to one hour without any of the pacing and punch of the first three seasons. It’s a shame that “The Twilight Zone” adopted this format for a while because the hour long episodes of the series are admittedly weaker and demand much more attention than their shorter counterparts. They’re still pretty good television all things considered, but they’re still not as good as what we’ve seen on the show and what the writers are capable of.

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My Top 5 John Carpenter Films

This year, director John Carpenter and the horror community are celebrating the 35th anniversary of the 1978 horror masterpiece “Halloween.” The immortal slasher film that inspired dozens of rip offs and wannabes, horror fans get their reward this year with a new edition of the film that would help close out the seventies. In honor of Carpenter, and “Halloween,” here are our five favorite John Carpenter directed films.

What are you favorites from Carpenter?

5. In the Mouth of Madness (1995)
One of the most interesting and demented explorations of rabid fandom, “In the Mouth of Madness” takes on a world where a popular author has bred a legion of fans so anxious for his work they’ll murder to get to it. John Carpenter creates the sentient villain Sutter Cane in homage of Stephen King whose based most of his works around Lovecraftian novels that have garnered an immense and violent fan base. When a book agent is sent to a mysterious town to meet Cane, he learns that Cane himself is not just a creator of his world, but most likely lost complete control and now has invented our world. There may be two realities, one of which Cane’s, and it’s the one we see in “In the Mouth of Madness.”

And in essence Cane likely invented himself. Things go from bad to worse when studios decide to begin turning his novels in to movies. Filled with an array of Easter eggs, wonderful in-jokes, subtle meta-jokes that only the keen observer will notice and an array of excellent performances from people like Sam Neill and Jürgen Prochnow, “In the Mouth of Madness” is an excellent meta horror film that builds a world within a world within a world to where we can never be sure if anything on-screen is human or just the cognizant creation of their God also known as the author. Do you read Sutter Cane?

4. Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)
Carpenter’s version of a contemporary Western that doubles as a remake of “Rio Bravo,” the 1976 action thriller is a frantic and relentless roller coaster that is never lets up in its energy. When a man’s young daughter is murdered in the middle of a crime infested neighborhood he strikes down the gang that left her to die. Retreating from them, he ends up at a local precinct about to be closed down, and the shit hits the fan. Caught in the crossfire, literally everyone in the precinct are marked by an endless horde of violent gang members, all of whom want in to the precinct and intend on murdering the civilians as horribly as possible.

Now a few beat cops, a secretary, and a ruthless convict have to fend off against the gang members using their wits, their endurance, and only a few fire arms at hand. It’s a ridiculously exciting and fantastic action picture, that Carpenter could never quite duplicate again. And he tried with “Ghosts of Mars.” Speaking of which, let’s be honest: It’s not that bad a film.

3. Halloween (1978)
Originally known as the Babysitter Murders, “Halloween” is the metaphorical gun that started the marathon of a thousand slasher films that would storm theaters in the eighties in search of the almighty dollar. Carpenter’s film is a slasher masterpiece second only to Bob Clark’s “Black Christmas.” Set years after a baffling murder conducted by a young boy named Michael Myers, his therapist travels to his mental asylum horrified to discover Michael has broken out. Now on the way back to his old town of Haddonfield, he builds an odd obsession with local teen Laurie, and seeks to destroy everything around her.

Viciously murdering her friends, Michael is a merciless and shapeless monster who meets his match with young Laurie on Halloween night. “Halloween” is still a very effective and engrossing slasher thriller that introduces an iconic new monster that would haunt the holiday as long as he lived. Ending on the horrifying breaths of its maniac, “Halloween” is a spooky horror film that makes you proud to be a horror fanatic.

2. John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982)
Initially a flop and critically lambasted, John Carpenter treats his audience with his own version of the short story “Who Goes There?” Considered a remake of Howard Hawk’s “The Thing,” John Carpenter side steps the monster movie and offers up a cerebral and deeply horrifying tale of survival as he creates a faceless, formless, and grotesque alien capable of becoming us. It will do anything to survive, even taking on the perverse and gruesome forms of its victims.

Kurt Russell leads a cast of seasoned veterans as RJ MacReady, a helicopter pilot who save a stray dog after thwarting its owners attempts to murder it. When they take it in, they realize too late that they’ve invited in an alien presence that uses humans as a vessel for safety. Soon begins the fight for survival as RJ struggles to find out who is the Thing. As the crew’s numbers dwindle, the blood soaked fight for dominance balances action, horror, science fiction and dark comedy, all topped off with a brilliant and immortal eerie closing scene. “The Thing” is the remake to end all remakes.

1. They Live (1988)
John Carpenter’s science fiction actioner is a brilliant and still widely relevant alien invasion film that sets its sights on society. The aliens are the yuppies and consumers, while the bad guys are the lower class and working man. The aliens, in an effort to gradually destroy the common man, subliminally program them to consume, reproduce, buy, and watch television. Oblivious to their pre-destined world that’s now under rule of the bug eyed aliens that camouflage as normal humans, the only hope is Nada.

A mysterious drifter seeking work, he ends up the only chance mankind has of re-gaining control as he infiltrates the alien operation thanks to enigmatic black shades that help him see through the alien facade. Roddy Piper is unconventional casting as the film’s hero who is at first a reluctant bystander, and then decides he has to spearhead this take down of this sentient alien society or else life as we know it will continues to be owned by our alien overlords.

Featuring a great supporting performance by Carpenter regular Keith David, “They Live” packs a punch with intellect, humor, social commentary, great action set pieces, and a kick ass hero we can get behind. Piper is at his best under the wing of Carpenter and really goes to town on the alien establishment. “They Live” is a consistent favorite and one of the films that will achieve immortality from Carpenter’s repertoire.

Our Top 10 John Carpenter Characters

This year, the film world is celebrating the 35th anniversary of John Carpenter’s iconic horror film “Halloween” with a year long exploration of the movie, as well as the release of a special edition that promises new looks at the 1978 masterpiece that shot the gun for hundreds of copycats, wannabes, and unofficial remakes that would storm the theaters in the eighties looking for their own piece of the pie. With that, we sound off on our top ten John Carpenter characters.

Who are some of your favorite John Carpenter characters? Let us Know Below!

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Beware the Batman

No longer just a channel that plays cartoons non-stop, the Cartoon Network here in America now only really airs series that make returns on their investments. When not buying cheap animated shows from Canada, the Cartoon Network looks for shows that will garner profits from merchandise only. After their entertaining “Green Lantern” series and the critically acclaimed “Young Justice” failed to show a profit, the Network cancelled both series and replaced them with two substitutes guaranteed to make money. The first was a watered down version of their aught hit “Teen Titans,” and the next is yet another animated series starring Batman.

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Laserblast (1978)

Charles Band’s “Laserblast” is one of the many, many, many productions from Band that garners an interesting nugget of an idea, but has little resources of budget to pull it off. I guess Band is one of the many filmmakers who’d rather make it themselves than sell it to another studio, it’s just a shame that “Laserblast” is so god awful. Even its remake and sequel “Deadly Weapon” is bad. Tonally uneven, terribly written, and poorly trying to pass of Eddie Deezen as a bully, “Laserblast” is a nigh unwatchable science fiction film that has endure the wrath of many movie geeks. Including the group from the Satellite of Love.

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Night of the Comet (1984)

I’m often surprised at how great “Night of the Comet” holds up. Watching it years after I saw it back in the mid-nineties, I was pleasantly entertained by it, and how it unfolded as that perfect post-apocalyptic tale. It garnered comedy, horror, suspense, and valid villains, all the while reveling in its eighties kitsch. “Night of the Comet” remains an influential apocalyptic horror film, and for good reason. It manages to touch upon the doldrums of the apocalypse while also setting down on some truly entertaining characters.

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