What cruel irony that the latest subtitle for the mediocre “Underworld” series is called “Awakening” since for the most part I found myself incapable of staying awake through the majority of it. If you’re looking for a cure for insomnia and don’t want medication, put on “Underworld: Awakening” and you’ll definitely be out like a light within ten minutes. After writing off the series and expanding her horizons, Kate Beckinsale comes crawling back to her husband’s film series that made her a star and reprises the role of Selene. Still one of the most one-dimensional and cardboard action heroines of contemporary genre cinema, Selene is back yet again this time on the run from pretty much everyone. After years of the war between the vampires and the lycans (ugh), the human race has finally caught on.
Tag Archives: Thriller
Deadly Weapon (1989)
Allegedly Michael Miner’s “Deadly Weapon” was supposed to be a sequel to Charles Band’s notoriously awful cult riot “Laserblast.” But when Empire pictures fell, Band basically turned the sequel in to its own film. Really, “Deadly Weapon” feels so much like a remake of “Laser Blast,” and an unnecessary one at that. Like its predecessor it’s hilariously bad and filled with so much horrible editing and acting, it’s more funny than it is entertaining.
Fireball (2009)
When I read the premise for this and discovered Ian Somerhalder was starring I was a little excited. I mean Ian Somerhalder as a bad ass fire throwing villain could be excellent, especially considering he has a knack for playing sharp villains. But then I learned that he’s merely the protagonist and we’re instead given a bulky bald muscle bound man who can throw fire, and I just settled on Somerhalder playing the hero. Fair enough. In spite of being derivative and feeling like a glorified television pilot, “Fireball” is a pretty solid action thriller that teams up genre actress Lexa Doig and television mainstay Ian Somerhalder as law officials who have to chase around a fire controlling maniac through the country and find a way to stop his madness.
Primal (2010)
You would think a survivalist horror film about a group of campers fighting off monsters born from stagnant infected lake water would be material for a gripping and intense horror film. But you’d be wrong. In fact, most of “Primal” is quite tedious and rote. I wanted to be choked with tension throughout most of “Primal” and just found myself basically yawning and zoning out for the most part. I wish I could attribute it to being high, but I’m not one to get high. In either case, “Primal” is pretty derivative of Bava’s “Demons,” where anyone who ingests the tainted water find themselves transforming in to demonic beings in an instant.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
We’ve all seen it so many times that I kind of get angry when a filmmaker sends me their latest horror opus and it’s comprised of the same premise. A bunch of teenagers have commandeered a cabin in the woods for the weekend, and decide that they want to get away for a few days of beer drinking and misdeeds of the sexual nature. While there they discover that the cabin houses a bunch of secrets that could be their undoing. And it’s all being manipulated by a secret government lab hidden underneath the cabin, manipulating every single moment of their weekend like a game of chess. Ah, but that’s not the whole story.
Chronicles of the Dead [Web Series]
With the rise of the zombie sub-genre, every filmmaker and their brother have their own story to tell. With zombie media at an all time high in popularity, there are an abundance interesting approaches toward the zombie sub-genre. And unfortunately there are also countless forgettable attempts. Immediately, “Chronicles of the Dead” from 3N films is under pressure to perform outside the norm and offer a form of zombie fiction that is entertaining and unique. “Chronicles of the Dead” so far has potential in the range of tone, atmosphere, and direction, it just has to now step up its game and provide us with a story that we can get behind. With only episode one to judge on, the series can go anywhere at this point. We may end up with a web version of “The Walking Dead,” or we could end up with a web version of “Night of the Dead.”
Universal Classic Monsters: The Essential Collection [Blu-Ray]
As with all box sets, there will be controversy and debates among horror fans about what belongs in this set and what doesn’t. “The Bride of Frankenstein” is the only sequel, there’s a baffling inclusion of the Claude Rains “Phantom of the Opera.” And no “The Fly”?
In either case, included in a wonderful box set, with a copy of the 48-page booklet “The Original House of Horror,” and of course eight horror gems for fans of Universal Studios that completely changed the horror genre forever. Not to mention, they changed the way film was made, forever.
Dracula
(1931, 75 min.)
For me the main attraction of “Dracula” is the performance of Dwight Frye. While “Dracula” is a stellar and often compelling bit of vampire fantasy horror with the great Bela Lugosi offering the most iconic portrayal of the vampire lord, for me the performance that always stuck out was Dwight Frye. His turn as the assistant Renfield is magnificent and his devious laugh is just chilling.
This is a man who has lost all semblance of his persona to Dracula, and now just an animal. He’s mad, and he’s vicious. “Dracula” lives up to its reputation as an entertaining and whimsical bit of horror cinema with remarkable performances, and incredible set pieces, all of which marked a turn in the genre thanks to director and visionary Tod Browning. “Dracula” is where Bela Lugosi was at his all time greatest, and as the count, he drips magnetism, charisma, and threat of a century old monster desperate for blood shed and willing to destroy whom ever he feels stands in his way.