See, here is what I hate in porn: Artsy fartsy. Whenever a porno director convinces himself that he’s going to make something other than another stag movie and tries his hand at arthouse, it’s really annoying. Case in point: “The Devil Inside Her,” a mixture of Andy Warhol, Merchant-Ivory, and “The Crucible,” Zebedy Colt attempts an actual story in an hour, and fails with laughable results. To call this a pure monstrosity is an under statement, as every bit of direction and dialogue is painful, while even the hardcore porn is reduced to satire that fails to be even the slightest bit arousing.
Tag Archives: Thriller
Sidekick (2005) (DVD)
Blake Van de graaf’s superhero opus is a cult film sadly without a cult, and that’s a pure crime of cosmic proportions. While his movie is very critically acclaimed, Van de graaf’s entry just doesn’t get enough love. Or more so, the love I think it warrants. Perhaps it’s just that audiences are burned out on superhero epics, but “Sidekick” really isn’t one of them. Most people will be quick to judge this movie on the cover, a one sheet that makes this look like a superhero comedy about a geek dressing in costumes to fight crime.
Amateur Porn Star Killer 2: The Snuff Version (2008) (DVD)
There’s a distinct difference between Shane Ryan’s movie version of “APSK 2” and his snuff version. One version is a safe and pretty clear fictional mock documentary chronicling Brandon and his ever devious quest to punish women. The other version, the snuff version, has much more balls. This is Shane Ryan’s original vision and more importantly, this is the actual director’s cut that dares to be much edgier and dynamic with its premise. While I completely understand the inevitable hot water Ryan would have gotten in to if he’d continued to pull the “fact or fiction?” gimmick with his “Amateur Porn Star Killer” movies, I really think in the end, it took something away. The constant reminders that this is fiction pretty much ruin any hopes of being sucked into the narrative. Sequels are hardly ever really good and frankly, there doesn’t seem to be a need for another from the Alter Ego flagship series, but “Amateur Porn Star Killer 2” is thankfully good enough where you can put your reservations aside to enjoy what Ryan puts on the table for us.
Re-Animator (1985)
Rake me over the coals all you want, but up until today, I have never seen “Re-Animator.” Shocked? You probably are. But the legendary horror film that’s managed to spawn comic books, video games, sequels, fan fiction, and even cross overs with other horror icons (Cassie Hack, baby!) has just evaded me all of my life. When I was a kid I was not allowed to see this, and as a young adult I found it difficult to track it down. It’s just one of those film classics that I could never really get a hold of and watch. Watching “Re-Animator,” I can see what every horror geek raves about because even at over twenty years old, Stuart Gordon’s gory sickening classic hasn’t aged much at all.
The Strangers (2008)
When people spout off about ridiculous nonsense declaring that Horror is dead, I often laugh at them, and then insist that there are still good horror movies out there. Great horror movies are still around, they’re just so much harder to find, with people still willing to scare us into submission. Take “The Strangers” a movie that’s garnered a rather excellent marketing campaign, but still suffers from being a virtual rip off of “Ils-Them,” a superior home invasion horror flick. Nevertheless, after watching great home invasion flicks like the aforementioned title, and “Inside,” I think “The Strangers” will carry along the rising fad with acute precision and some reasonable arguments for being one of the stronger horror films of the year.
Funny Games U.S. (2008) (DVD)
I recently watched “The Strangers” in theaters, and it was a thriller very heavily reminiscent of “Funny Games” in where our villains simply are. And the studios heavily marketed on the momentum from Haneke’s film to make it seem like a branch off from “Funny Games.” That’s likely because with both films our villains remain ambiguous. I never understood why we have to know the motives of our villains in horror films, these days. Why do we need to know about their life, or tragedy, and why do they need to have a theme of revenge or financial gain? Why can’t they just be psychopathic murderers who simply crossed you and seek to kill you?
Wanted
So, here I sat on the wobbly edge, wondering if I should even read “Wanted.” I mean no one cared about the comic, they loved the movie before it even arrived in theaters, and the stupid comic was short lived, but then I saw that final scene where our main character is screaming in to the page with the bubble reading “This is my Face While I’m fucking you in the ass,” and I chuckled so hard, I had to at least give it a chance. Lasting only six issues, and then being made in to a movie that’s kind of faithful to the comic. Wesley Gibson is an average man who… you’ve seen the trailers for the movie, I assume. Anyway, Wesley Gibson is your average schmuck who could have been played by someone a little more reliable than James Mcavoy. The guy’s a good actor, but not who I envisioned.