“Hold That Ghost” is one of the best horror comedy romps featuring Abbott and Costello and a very close second to their more well known outing involving famous Universal monsters. And while it’s not the masterpiece that their outing with Frankenstein and Dracula is, it’s a damn respectable horror comedy with a great tribute to “The Cat and the Canary.” If that’s not enough, Lou Costello is given a great female foil in the form of Joan Davis, who is a blast playing off of Costello’s ace physical comedy with her own double takes and unabashed slapstick.
Author Archives: Felix Vasquez
Bride of the Monster (1955)
This is the story of a man, his giant, and an Octopus. And the man’s experiments involving kidnapping people and turning them in to—something. I think giants. Let’s go with giants. Said doctor also has a fondness for his giant octopus which, whenever he decides to leave his lab, comes across the octopus that seems to gleam at him from behind his glass. The doctor often smiles and waxes poetic about his friend that he hopes will never murder him in a shallow pool of cold swamp water. The thing I like about Ed Wood’s movies is that his villains just aren’t very smart.
The Gorilla (1939)
I admit I’ve never been familiar with the comedy of the Ritz Brothers before. I just happened upon “The Gorilla” one night and couldn’t stop laughing while watching the comedy team happen upon Bela Lugosi. I’ve read from some that this isn’t their best comic output. If this is them at their weakest, I’m excited to see what their best is. “The Gorilla” is a public domain horror comedy that can literally be seen anywhere, from DVD, VHS, or Youtube, and I was able to watch one of the five copies available on the site for this review. Suffice it to say, I still find the 1939 horror comedy quite hilarious.
Vampirella (1996)
It’s hard to believe almost twenty years ago, the height of superhero movies was “Batman & Robin” with studios not really clamoring to adapt any of the beloved superheroes. It took “Blade” to finally bring some tooth and maturity to the entire sub-genre. One of the more interesting precursors to “Blade” is the dreadfully boring vampire adaptation “Vampirella,” which is a tonally confused take on the pulpy pin up character mostly known for being beautiful and sexy, and not so much for her compelling story lines. “Vampirella” is never sure if it’s campy horror schlock, exploitative vampire softcore, or a stern horror epic. So director Jim Wynorski pretty much lunges for all three on the table, and comes out with this pretty gloomy and dull film.
The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror XXV
It’s no secret that the writers of “The Simpsons” hold a great love for Stanley Kubrick. Bart Dressed as a Droog for “Treehouse of Horror III,” and “Treehouse of Horror V” delivered the brilliant “The Shinning.” For the 25th “Treehouse of Horror” yearly special, the gang behind the series pays a full unabashed tribute to Kubrick in what is easily the best “Treehouse” special in years. Though supplying only three segments this year, the writers opts for quality over quantity and the show really hits its stride for the Halloween Season well.
“School is Hell” is a fun opener in which Bart and Lisa accidentally find an Aramaic inscription while dusting during detention. Using her Apple App, Lisa translates the inscription and Bart reads it aloud without regard to caution. This causes them to be scooped up by hell fires and thrown in to an Elementary school in the underworld. Oddly enough, this is a dimension opposite to Springfield Elementary in every way. Bart becomes an A student when he impresses his class with his various ideas for torture, while Lisa becomes popular with a clique of female demons. The segment is a wonderful opener featuring a lot great puns and unusual jokes regarding religion (“Haw-haw! Your heresies were venialized by the Council of Palermo!”), plus, there’s a great call back to “Treehouse of Horror IV” with someone in the background being tortured with the donut conveyor belt Homer suffered.
“A Clockwork Yellow” is another excellent Kubrick love letter, with the story of Moe who was once the leader of the Droogs, a gang that held Carl, Lenny, and Homer. After many years of crime and havoc, Homer meets a “blue haired bird” named Marge in a record shop and the two get married leaving their life of crime behind. This segment contains so many great references to “A Clockwork Orange” including a pretty funny twist on the threesome montage set to a high speed. Not to mention there’s the great finale where Kubrick’s various world come smashing together as the old time Droogs crash a mansion that happens to be holding a sex party. I loved how when the partiers charged the Droogs, Burns reminded the background sex blockers to snap in to action.
The Kubrick references don’t stop there, as there are more overt winks, and background gags like Homer in the record shop walking by records “Dr. Strangelaugh,” “Paths Of Gravy,” “D’oh-lita,” and “Full Milhouse Jacket.” “The Others” is purely meta-fan service that has given the special the biggest press as the Simpsons begin getting haunted by mysterious presences in their house. Much to their horror, they discover they’re being haunted by the Tracey Ullman incarnations of their characters. When they refuse to leave, a war ensues between both versions of the family, especially with Marge angrily competing with classic Marge for the affection of modern Homer. The segment is dark and pretty disturbing when it wants to be, but it’s also mainly about paying tribute to the fans. There’s a wonderful final gag about different variations of the Simpsons, and Dr. Marvin Monroe, deemed dead many years ago, returns as a ghost to try and sort out the battle between both clans.
For the centerpiece it’s perfectly fine but there seems like so much more could have been done, like perhaps grabbing Tracey Ullman for a cameo, but in its small window it acknowledges that the show has changed drastically, and that their corporate entity ensure more variations down the line. The real Easter egg is the family picture with both clans which is quite excellent for fans that remember the original short. Homer even says “Watch your mouth, you little smart ass.” I love it, and I wish “The Simpsons” could gain this kind of momentum all season. The glory days of the “Simpsons” dynasty might be over, but at least “Treehouse of Horror” is still a fun tradition that delivers.
Army of Darkness vs. Hack/Slash
Now that “Hack/Slash” is done, I’m kind of regretful and happy I didn’t finish its run with Image. This is what happens when I leave this series? Tim Seeley kills off Vlad? And pitifully, I might add? Granted, it’s nice to see that Cassie has fully embraced her homosexuality and is now in a happy relationship with her wife, but damn, did you have to kill off Vlad? In either case, you’re nobody in the horror world if you don’t cross paths with Ashley Williams at least once, and lo and behold, he’s back, baby.
I, Frankenstein (2014)
“I Frankenstein” is so hopelessly convoluted that rather than watching the action unfold and allowing the audience to go along for the ride, the writers do nothing but explain. Characters walk from one room to another to explain things, and then explain the explanation. “We’re the Order of the Gargoyles and here’s why. You’ll be called Adam, and here’s why. These are our weapons that can defeat demons, we’ll explain why. Our ranks are falling but demons are more powerful than ever, and we’ll explain why.” Considering the heroes do nothing but talk, it’s a wonder they’re losing the battle of good and evil. And how original that Frankenstein is re-named Adam? I wish Hollywood would put that creaky cliché to bed.
It’s too bad the writers didn’t have the balls to re-name the monster Frank. Or Victor. Hell, Shelley would have been gutsy. After the usual events of the Mary Shelley novel, Frankenstein is attacked in a graveyard when he attempts to bury the body of his creator. Managing to barely survive, he’s taken in by the Order of the Gargoyle, a group of knights hired by the Queen to fight demons. For whatever reason, they’re gargoyles that can masquerade as human beings, and can revert to their beastial form to fight evil. On the other side, there’s a group of demons intent on capturing Frankenstein because he holds the key to immortality. No wait, he holds the key to building another Frankenstein body, as the demons plans to build an army of clones that can be possessed by demons.
Frankenstein is an anti-hero for the sake of being an anti-hero, torn between two fractions of the war. You know he’s an angry monster because he dons heavy eyeliner for a majority of the film, and despite his brute strength battles with swords like a horror version of “Crouching Tiger.” You figure a movie with gargoyles and demons and Frankenstein would be amazing, but in reality it’s unbearable. It’s droning, tedious, and incredibly boring, and not a single character is engaging. They bring in strong performers like Bill Nighy, Yvonne Strahovski and Miranda Otto, all of whom do nothing but look half asleep most of the time, while they drone on and on with clunky exposition.
In the first half there’s a massive battle between the demons and Gargoyles, and granted it would all be so amazing, if I knew who any of these characters were. We learn nothing about the heroes or villains in the film. Director and co-writer Stuart Beattie stuffs the screen with so many sub-plots and supporting characters all of whom have zero depth to them. They’re just cannon fodder we’re told to root for. “I Frankenstein” is much like the “Underworld” and “Resident Evil” movies. It’s all flash, explosions, and absolutely zero substance. “I Frankenstein” is an absolutely terrible attempt to turn a Gothic literary character in to a superhero, and here’s hoping there’s no follow-up to the amazingly dull adventures of Frankenstein’s Monster.