Dr. Seuss’s “The Grinch that Stole Christmas” was about the materialism of Christmas, and how it’s the spirit that counts. “Halloween is Grinch Night” is about how you—uh—shouldn’t let… Grinches… ruin Halloween for you. And stuff…? Despite being written by Dr. Seuss, “Halloween is Grinch Night” is a weak prequel that doesn’t quite bind with the “Christmas” exploits of our angry green monster. For one, his dog Max leaves him in the final scene when he fails to hurt Whoville on “Grinch Night,” thus there’s not a lot of explanation when he’s back in the actual short film. Also, the animation compared to the original is so drastic, it’s distracting.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Cry Baby Lane (2000)
It’s a shame that the urban legend of “Cry Baby Lane” is better than the actual movie. “Cry Baby Lane” was originally shown on Nickelodeon in 2000 and aired allegedly only once. It was then banned for over a decade, never airing again, not even during Halloween, or even its teen channels. Many movie lovers spent years circulating boot leg copies of the movie, until it finally re-emerged in 2016 and aired on Nickelodeon’s late night block “Splat.” There are a ton of theories as to why the movie was banned, but frankly were it not for the years of infamy, “Cry Baby Lane” would just be a boring Nickelodeon TV movie, best forgotten.
The Osiris Child (2016)
Two men set on a quest to save a child during a volatile period of interplanetary colonization. As they do so, a global crisis is looming and they must learn about the world and themselves.
Guardians (2017)
The Guardians are a group of men who watch over old houses, Carlson finds himself starting to do this when he is thrown into a house as a live-in Guardian with Lavender, a mildly eccentric man to say the least. As they learn to share their living quarters, unseen forces make life more complicated.
Trafficked (2017)
Three trafficked girls end up in the same house where they must learn to work or look for a way out without getting caught.
Tales of the Third Dimension (1984)
I swear, there’s nothing more baffling and unusual than “Tales of the Third Dimension,” a horror anthology of cobbled together horror tropes that doesn’t deliver a remotely scary movie. There’s a stiff, robotic skeleton who narrates in a bad Rod Serling impression. He’s accompanied by three puppet buzzards that interact with one another like the Three Stooges, and there’s the inexplicable recurring presence of cats. It was originally supposed to be in 3D, so there are a ton of scenes obviously meant for the gimmick that just looks laugh out loud moronic sans the effect. Finally there are three bland horror tales where, I swear, the moral of one is “Be a good kid, and Santa Claus will defend you against your psychotic, mentally deranged, wheelchair bound grandmother.”
Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled (2002)
Hot woman unleashes genie, genie meets hot woman, genie comes between hot woman and her husband, husband and genie fight for the love of the hot woman. Isn’t that always how it goes? Same old story. “Wishmaster 4” is a noticeable departure in quality, to the point where it’s almost distracting. The prologue is filmed in what looks like an HD camcorder, there’s a gratuitous sex scene not two minutes in to the film, and this time the evil djinn makes his grand appearance by emerging from a closet, as opposed to the previous times where he required a wish to take on full anthropomorphic form. Completely giving up on scaring the audience, “Wishmaster 4” is now dark fantasy, with our djinn humanized for the sake of a goofy romance.