There’s nothing worse than sitting through a movie to suddenly realize the director is wasting your time. “Autumn Blood” has a very interesting premise with great potential that oddly enough feels like a premise that could only warrant a one hour movie. So director Markus Blunder literally pads the run time a slew of montages involving picturesque looks at our character’s surroundings and their home life. The attempt is to counteract the horrific violence off of the gorgeous scenic landscapes, except it’s all plainly obvious that the story is paper thin and doesn’t present much moral quandaries.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Northpole (2014) (DVD)
Part one in an apparent movie series from Hallmark Entertainment, “Northpole” is a cute film about Christmas, and trying to preserve the happiness. Literally. It’s a simple and down to Earth movie that celebrates the more entertaining aspects of the holiday, while also building on a new hero in the form of elf Clementine. Bailee Madison is the definition of adorable as the rambunctious cherubic elf, desperately trying to keep the North Pole from dying what with the happiness of Christmas fading away in a sea of unfortunate cynicism. “North Pole” depends on Madison’s enthusiastic performance, and as always, she steals the movie. “North Pole” has its fair share of silliness, but it’s a fine Christmas movie with amusing quirks that I sat through with ease.
Into the Storm (2014) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]
If it’s at all possible, “Into the Storm” manages to out silly “Twister” by miles. It features a giant hurricane, absolutely valiant attempts to comment on global warming, and a fire tornado! A fire tornado trumps a flying cow any day of the week, sad to say. “Into the Storm” is a silly movie without a single compelling character, but when it stops trying to create drama it’s actually a lot of fun to sit through. From the great special effects, to the absolutely tense carnage inflicted by nature, “Into the Storm” is that kind of movie you could see Paul Newman and Red Buttons co-starring in 1979.
The Guest (2014)
One thing I love about Adam Wingard that propelled him as one of my favorite directors working today, is that he loves to twist formulas. He did so with “You’re Next,” and he accomplishes the feat yet again with “The Guest.” His darkly comic horror film begs the question: What if you made friends with a super soldier who was practically Captain America? And what if instead of Steve Rogers, he was a psychopathic maniac with a relentless need to kill? “The Guest” asks that question by transforming Wingard’s villain in to an anti-hero who is at first the perfect guardian angel, but soon an unstoppable killing machine. Adam Wingard brings his A game once again, channeling a late seventies and mid-eighties aesthetic with a mesmerzing synth score that sets the tone for the wildly morbid events.
Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings (1993) [Blu-Ray]
It’s kind of sad that “Blood Wings” is about as good as the series ever got. Surely the first film is good just as it is, but “Blood Wings” is about the only good sequel the movie series ever received, and I’m surprised the studios never sought to deliver higher quality follow-ups. You could technically count this as the final film in the series, and one that doesn’t completely realize the concept or expand on the mythos of the pumpkinhead monster. “Blood Wings” garners a smaller scale and much less logical tale about a dad wreaking havoc on the killers of his child, and focuses more on a witch, more reckless teens, and really awful performances all around.
Squirm (1976): Collector’s Edition [Blu-Ray]
I understand director Jeff Leiberman for his anger about his film being mocked on “Mystery Science Theater.” But I also understand why “Squirm” was such good fodder. Intentionally silly or not, “Squirm” is not a good movie, nor is it a good horror movie. It’s barely competent storytelling. I never could quite comprehend why “Squirm” was such a classic, but oddly enough it’s that movie that always rose to the surface to play on late night cable, or in drive in theaters. Don Scardino is laughably miscast as Mick, the hero of “Squirm” who visits his girlfriend Geri in her small Southern town for a romantic rendezvous. Of course, them hill folk don’t take too kindly to Mick’s straight forward attitude.
Princess Mononoke (Mononoke-hime) (1997)
I’m very glad to say that “Princess Mononoke” was my first real experience with Hayao Miyazaki’s amazing cinematic contributions. After its Oscar buzz in 1997, I sought out the film, and was shocked at what I’d been missing from the master director. “Princess Mononoke” is probably Miyazaki’s broadest film, but one that also conveys a meaningful alllegory about the sanctity of nature, and how the wars of men can taint the sacred lands. It’s an action packed and incredible morality tale that will win over fantasy buffs instantly. “Princess Mononoke” is set in the Muromachi Period of Japan where a local village is attacked by a vicious amorphous demon. The bow and arrow wielding warrior Ashitaka, comes to the rescue of the village, fending off the demon and defeating it after a horrific battle, but the demon manages to corrupt his body with its vile darkness.