I’ve warmed up to “Hatchet III” a little bit since I originally saw it. Not a whole lot, but just a tiny bit. Mostly because while Adam Green is still better than what this premise entails, he is actually talented when he decides to be. Like Adam Sandler, he can deliver some true greatness, he just indulges his fan base that asks for more lowbrow entertainment that he makes his bread and butter off of. When most of his fans were mocking Green for directing the PG-13 “Spiral,” I don’t blame the man for sticking to the gore soaked “Hatchet” films to keep his (ugh) “Hatchet Army” by his side.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
HazMat (2013)
As a slasher fanatic I really can’t endorse “Hazmat” enough. As a Hispanic male, the almost completely Hispanic cast for “Hazmat” is also another reason why I endorse director Lou Simon’s slasher film. You often see so many slasher films about white kids running back and forth and fighting a slasher, it’s rare that we see a predominantly Hispanic cast facing off against a masked killer.
The Principal (1987)
Jim Belushi’s vehicle “The Principal” is that case of a movie that never knows what the hell it wants to be. Sometimes it strives to be an inspiring tale of a principal helping students to learn in a lower class school, and other times it’s an action movie about a man fighting against local gang members.
Say No to Subtitles (2013)
Director Jordan Wippell’s short mock documentary is a funny bit of role reversal, where Wippell chronicles the life of an avid movie buff. Instead of this movie fan being for all forms of movie going, he happens to be furiously against the idea of subtitles during a movie. He not only hates subtitles, but hates foreign films altogether. Sam Bowtell is hilarious as the movie geek Edward who owns his own movie store DVD Nation.
Invasion Roswell (2013)
The aliens didn’t land on Roswell, we landed on the aliens, and now they’re back with a vengeance. After the Roswell crash in 1947, the government built a group of five specially trained enforcers to raid alien bunkers and strong holds and take them down. But after years of inactivity, the team was retired, and they disbanded, becoming US citizens in search of another direction.
Unlucky Charms (2013)
Charles Bands’ “Unlucky Charms” is entertaining only in the way that modern Full Moon films are. They’re trashy and don’t even seem to try anymore, but at least there’s always a highlight or two that salvages the experience. Plus, “Unlucky Charms” is not even eighty minutes long. Factor in the opening credits, and closing credits, it’s a little over an hour of a goofy horror comedy with really hot women.
Independence Daysaster (2013)
“Independence Daysaster” is the perfect alien invasion film if you enjoy watching people do nothing but type on computers for ninety minutes. To compensate the lack of special effects, most of our alien invasion is implied, while the rest of it is merely watched from afar from other characters, all of whom can mysteriously see everything that’s going on from their vantage point. They even see a dog fight in the sky without fail.