Category Archives: Movie Reviews

D.N.A (1997)

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It’s pretty funny that “DNA” manages to be a total rip off of “Predator.” Because once you get a full glimpse at the alien monster in this 1997 Mark Dacascos vehicle, you realize that the alien in the film looks exactly like the early concepts for the monster in “Predator.” Anyone who knows movies, knows that the early designs for the monster in “Predator” featured a long necked more primal beast with a beak like mouth later changed in to a dreadlocked crab like hunter. The beast in “DNA” looks similar to the aforementioned monster from early drafts of “Predator,” except this time he’s tangling with Mark Dacascos and his boss long hair. “DNA” is not the worst “Predator” wannabe I’ve ever seen, it’s just incredibly silly. Especially when the first half is pretty much a riff on “African Queen” that then turns in to “Predator” once we learn of the evil plans bad guy Jurgen Prochnow has in store.

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Battledogs (2013)

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“Battledogs,”is a film that demonstrates the fine art of retooling a movie and having a good time doing it. In this instance, Writer Phillip Van Dyke retreads 2008’s “The Incredible Hulk” but tailors it more for werewolves. Every plot device and moment in the film is shamelessly derived from the 2008 action film. Hell, there’s even a moment where one of the infected humans is kicked out of a helicopter in mid-air and sent crashing in to the Earth as it transforms in to the rabid werewolf.

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Army of Darkness (1992)

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xHU2TXQWhen last we saw Ash Williams in “Evil Dead II,” he was at the butt hole end of a massive portal to hell and could do nothing but hope and pray for the best. In spite of battling the demonic menace in his deserted cabin in the woods for the second time, he unfortunately could only hope the demonic menace within this wormhole would display mercy on him. Or at least let its guard down long enough to allow Ash an escape. Little did he know he’d land in 1300 AD among a culture of people desperately in need of a savior.

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Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987)

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The sequel to “The Evil Dead” is once again what happens when Sam Raimi has little and can do so much with it. As director, Raimi finds new ways to enthrall the viewer and add a new appendage to the “Evil Dead” series without ruining the former film. “Dead by Dawn” acts as a sequel and a pseudo-remake, that recaps the original film in a brevity, and then proceeds to follow along with the journey of Ash Williams. Becoming the accidental hero in many ways, Ash is a man tasked with fighting the demonic beings of the necronomicon, not because he chooses to, but because he simply can’t escape their grasp.

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The Stand (1994)

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DBionwNMick Garris’ 1994 cinematic adaptation of Stephen King’s The Stand is one half a great epic post apocalyptic tale of human endurance, and one half a preachy and overwrought religious tale about God, the Devil, and a lot of hokey sermonizing that falls flat. Which is not to say it bogs down the film, but as King is noted for, “The Stand” eventually devolves in to religious hokum that completely eliminates the appeal of the original story.

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The Road (2009)

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I respect Cormac McCarthy for exploring the less stylish side of the apocalypse. While many modern fictional outlets have given a real sense of sensationalism to the end of the world, “The Road” is an often uncompromising, cruel, and disturbing look at the end of civilization. It’s a world full of cowards, a world where humans prey on one another out of desperation for food, and it’s a world where there’s literally no hope. The world is dying all around a man and his son, and the pair can do nothing but hold tighter together and spend every waking hour looking for food. Viggo Mortensen who plays the man known by his son as simply papa is a haggard shell with dirty nails, stained teeth, and a gradually fading health, while his son spends most of the story taking on the weight of the world.  And yet, even when confronted with the worst of human cruelty, he can not find the worst in humanity. He wants to believe there’s still some good in the world.

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Rapid Fire (1992)

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After cameos in “Kung Fu,” a still laughable premiere in “Laser Mission,” and shifting out of the shadows of bigger names in “Showdown in Little Tokyo,” Brandon Lee finally garnered his own action vehicle in 1992. Whether you like, love, or hate the movie, there’s no denying Brandon Lee had what it took. With the fading mold of the action star becoming an antiquated concept in modern cinema, Brandon Lee had the chops to become a bonafide film star who could have built himself an empire in the same way Michael Douglas did by straying from the legacy of his father Kirk Douglas.

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