Directors Peter Horn and Jared Marshall’s short science fiction horror film is, as the kids say: The shit. “Dark Times” is a rollicking and creepy gore fest that takes every advantage to be unique and original. Foregoing any opening and closing credits, “Dark Times” takes every single advantage of every second to tell a fun story that is just so damn thrilling to behold. As seen through the eyes of a hapless man, a group of workers from the Blue Skies Nuclear Power plant flee from a horrible explosion that is sending them running in to the woods as radioactive debris rains from the skies taking down survivors.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Still Screaming: The Ultimate Scary Movie Retrospective (2011)
The main problem with “Still Screaming” is that though it does cover one of the most popular horror movies of all time, the story of “Scream” and its inception just isn’t very interesting. Sure, Wes Craven happened upon one of the most trendy slasher films ever made and created something of a resurgence in a decade that almost saw the death of the horror genre, but the making of the film and the series of weak sequels is just a series of normal studio anecdotes compiled in to a ninety minute mediocre documentary. There isn’t a lot of magic behind “Scream.” Not like “Return of the Living Dead,” “A Nightmare On Elm Street,” or even “Psycho.” It was a studio fueled film that brought the right talent to the forefront and it succeeded in reviving a sub-genre. It’s barely a tale of independent filmmakers scraping dollars together to make a bang up horror film.
Caesar and Otto's Deadly Xmas (2012)
As a follow-up to “Summer Camp Massacre,” Caesar and Otto’s latest adventure with psychopaths and horror icons isn’t quite as good. It definitely has its share of laughs and head scratching moments that have become standard with the comedy duo of Caesar and Otto, but the sad part of “Deadly X-Mas” is that it really loses steam in the final ten minutes. In either case, Caesar and Otto are able to come out looking great in the end as one of the few comedy duos with antics built on and around the horror film. They’ve confronted almost every situation imaginable, and still haven’t died.
Valentine (2001)
Taking every bit and piece it can from “Slaughter High,” 2001’s painfully bland and tedious “Valentine” examines what happens when you fuck a nerd in the ass. At a school dance for Valentine’s Day, young Jeremy Melton experiences endless rejection from his classmates during the dance and braves the social experience anyway. After young Dorothy Wheeler sets him up to become the target of school bullies, Jeremy is never heard from again and becomes fodder for the group of girls later in their lives. I always assumed horror films were supposed to focus on likable characters. If not, there should be at least one or two likable characters you can connect with. “Valentine” works against such an effort focusing on four of the most vapid and utterly despicable young girls ever written, all of whom are stuck up rich snobs just asking to be brutally slaughtered.
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)
“New Nightmare” is the final installment of the series and something of a meta-movie that pre-dates Craven’s wildly overrated “Scream” series. Rather than deconstruct the slasher film, Craven deconstructs the “Nightmare” series once and for all studying the over saturation of Krueger on the masses of pop culture fanatics and dares to ponder on the notion that the “Nightmare” movies may have actually done more harm than good. Basing most of the film on reality (including the stalker sub-plot), “New Nightmare” breaks down and disavows the series opting instead to depict them as fiction that have taken on a life of their own in the midst of the pop culture overload.
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
I spend a lot of time debating and exploring “Night of the Living Dead” to an almost obscene degree. While today it’s been passed around more than a bong at a Grateful Dead concert, has been included in every horror boxed set imaginable, and has been remade, reworked, and rebooted to a sickening degree, somehow George A. Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead” has managed to survive it all. It still stands, feet planted, in the ground and taking whatever the film world throws at it. A lot of horror geeks say Romero gets too much credit for “Night.” I mean, in the end isn’t it just a retread of the novel “I Am Legend” and “The Last Man on Earth”? And surely, it’s not the first genre picture to star an African American man in a dominant role. But still, “Night” is just art in motion. It’s still a rich and deeply effective indictment on humanity, and still possesses themes about the inner monster that ring true even in the digital age.
The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
Director Dan O’Bannon’s 1985 zombie picture is about as pitch perfect a horror comedy you can get. The film itself re-imagines the walking dead and manages to deliver oodles of comedy and horror nuggets to its audience that has kept it alive and kicking since its initial release. What many thought was once an untouchable formula transformed the walking dead in to a beast anyone could tinker with, and allowed other writers and directors a chance at re-creating the modern zombie. Sadly, none have been quite as successful as Dan O’Bannon and the minds of “The Return of the Living Dead.”