The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

hitchhikersDirector Garth Jennings mimics Ivan Reitman’s style, and sick humor down to every particular inch, and until I read up on this film, I’d convinced myself Reitman directed this. For a film that starts off with a musical number involving fleeing Dolphins singing “So long and thanks for all the fish!”, it’s obvious you’re going to get something new. I thought the dolphins would be CGI and animated, but having the song play while stock footage of Dolphins run on a loop is further proof of that not taking itself too seriously hypotheses. And its hard to hate something that sports a cast like John Malkovich, Sam Rockwell, Mos Def, Zooey Deschanel, and Alan Rickman, it’s hard to go wrong, and I had fun.

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What the #$*! Do We (K)now!? (2004)

what-the-bleep-do-we-know-mIt’s funny how a film like this can really be deciphered as. Certainly, the religious will view this as a secularist documentary on quantum physics, and the others will simply view it as an examination in to the human mind. With films like “Waking Life”, so often do we ever see films that actually challenge us to re-think our surroundings and our current settings. “What the…” ultimately explores radical ideas of repressed memories, the immense power of our mind, and alternate universes. And it also questions god, the existence of god, and the existence of god who gave man the ability to think. If we can not question religion, why were we given the ability to reason and wonder, and examine? If a god exists and does not want us to discover the riddles of the universe, why were we given the tools to do so? And “What the…” does indeed humble us calling us “Observers”.

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Evelyn: The Cutest Evil Dead Girl (2002)

Imagine if Dr. Seuss combined genius with Edgar Allan Poe, with Tim Burton bouncing ideas off of them, and what do you get? Well, if you’re lucky you’d get Evelyn, the cutest evil dead girl, a demented fairytale with the mood and color you never get in films anymore, the mood and color that’s missing from the horror genre today. Many call this basically a rip from “Lenore the Living Dead Girl” comic book, and perhaps that’s true, but “Evelyn” is such a sick and demented short film I had so much fun watching that I didn’t really care.

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Ultraviolet (2006)

UltravioletI thought “Equilibrium” was a great action science fiction film that really showed that Kurt Wimmer had the possibility to create intelligent action films, but then he created “Ultraviolet”. Rule one of being in the art field, Kurt, never create copies of your previous work. People will know. “Ultraviolet” is one part Calvin Klein models gone psycho, one part music video, and one part tired genre fodder that takes basically any and every chance to keep from being original.

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The Squid and the Whale (2005)

the-squid-and-the-whaleYet another Oscar contender I’ve been aching to see before it was even an Oscar contender, “The Squid and the Whale” presents and upper middle class family of intellectuals and prominent athletes at war with one another. At the beginning of the film, I was rather worried this would become yet another “Ice Storm” rip-off except set in New York, but “The Squid and the Whale” is a simple but engrossing parable of a family set in half, and their children having to choose sides. “The Squid and the Whale” is a basic tale of two parents so at odds with one another that it follows down to their children whom are also at war and don’t even seem to realize it. Noah Baumbach’s writing is very enlightening with this simple slice of life of a family at war, and really doesn’t depict anyone as a villain, though the story does veer to certain directions here and there.

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The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

2006_hills_have_eyes_wallpaWhen news broke out Craven was producing a remake (yes, another fucking remake) to his classic “The Hills Have Eyes” I groaned. I’ll admit, I’m not a fan of the original film that’s still branded a classic. I saw it twice and it just didn’t resonate with me. The cannibals looked like cavemen/WWE wrestlers, the acting was horrible, the plot dragged, and I just wasn’t satisfied. While I can and do appreciate its importance in horror (hence the collective groan after the remake news) I just didn’t care for it. I was weary of this remake since about 95 percent of modern horror remakes are terrible (i.e. House of Wax, TCM), but two words instantly turned me in to someone really anxious to watch this. Alexandre Aja.

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The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005)

thumb_EB20050609REVIEWS50605001ARThe words Robert Rodriguez would come to regret saying for years to his son: “This would make a cool movie”. Oy. It’s difficult to just outright cut this movie a new one, especially since the intentions behind it are admirable. Whether or not Rodriguez’ son thought of the story, dreamt of these characters, and or co-wrote this screenplay, it’s hard to completely rip it apart. It sucks, that’s a given, and its Rodriguez’ worst, but I’m still trying to figure out why this was made. I remember kids movies being bad, especially when I was a kid. I had to suffer through “Rock a Doodle”, “Ferngully”, and “Mom and Dad Save the World”, but I believe it’s possible to make a very good kids film.

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