Secret Window (2004)

Posted on May 27, 2005 by Felix Vasquez

The surprise twist in the end concerning our character Mort isn’t really surprising when you come to think of it in the end. It’s unexpected, that’s for sure, but it’s also very expected, an expected twist to a story that isn’t even that interesting. You’ll most likely assume to your partner what the ending is at the first thirty minutes of the movie, and then in the end you’ll be right. What a shame. You’ll more than likely find this derivative as I did with the laughable ending which was such a horrible mimic of “The Shining.” The story which was basically a take off from “The Dark Half,” and one question came to mind when the climax of “Secret Window” finally approached. Is Stephen King just repeating himself? I was honestly stunned and a bit amused when the ending finally came, because it was so derivative of past King stories.

Continue reading →

In Good Company (2004)

Posted on May 15, 2005 by Felix Vasquez

“In Good Company” is a great comedy drama that is both a study of life, and relationships. Director Paul Weitz manages to create a bittersweet portrait of Dan Foreman, a salesman for magazine ads who basically has his life under control, but when a company conglomerate buys out Dan’s magazine, he finds himself extremely humbled and wounded when he discovers his boss is a man named Carter, who is more than twenty years his junior. Now he has to adjust against his own will and better judgment, but the film becomes more esoteric under Weitz’ direction in which the modern villain, the big corporation, only becomes a microcosm for the recurring and strong theme of change, and approaching change with immense uncertainty. Even as Dan’s wife is about to bear a child. That is the strong connection every character bears during the story, as Weitz succeeds in tackling what life is all about: doubt, and worry, even in the climax.

Continue reading →

The Amityville Horror (2005)

Posted on May 15, 2005 by Felix Vasquez

This does have some great elements that is a gleaming example of what this movie could have and should have been per the generous rating. Admittedly, I’m a real fan of Ryan Reynolds. He was good in that crap “Van Wilder”, and he was my favorite aspect of “Blade: Trinity”. He’s a genuinely good actor who has the ability to become one of the many huge over-exposed actors of the time. Reynolds gives a good performance and was convincing, and he’s really menacing when he begins going nuts. There’s a particularly great scene when he’s chopping wood and he’s making his stepson hold the wood and it’s so well directed and edited I was thinking “that’s how this movie should have been!”: tense, gritty, creepy, and just plain character-based.

Continue reading →

The Girl Next Door (2004)

Posted on May 15, 2005 by Felix Vasquez

I actually liked this movie. It won’t win awards, and I will not spend any money on it, but for a good time I suggest you check this out. If you’re a guy. Usually the casting of a hot girl to distract me never works, but here, looking at Elisha Cuthbert, I just couldn’t help but dismiss the flaws. And there were plenty of flaws. Elisha Cuthbert is really hot. She has this amazing face and unbelievable body, she’s just not human, and that was the saving grace for me with this movie. Watching her parade herself back and forth was amazing and she won me over completely. And then there’s Timothy Olyphant who plays sleazy porno director Kelly, who proves to be quite an obstacle and nemesis for Hirsch’s character. Olyphant is entertainingly over the top in this film, with all the usual clichés with spiky hair, a menacing grim, and sleaze galore.

Continue reading →

Home on the Range (2004)

Posted on May 15, 2005 by Felix Vasquez

“Home on the Range” is a sign post, it’s a sign post up ahead the reads the basic end of Disney. What once was a company that gave us “The Lion King” and “Bambi” now gives us crap like “Lilo and Stitch”, their direct to video sequels of their classic films, and–this. I wanted to like “Home on the Range”, I really did, I was expecting at best an entertaining animated film that was a guilty pleasure, and even that doesn’t pull off my expectations at all. I was so disappointed after liking the pictures of the animated characters that I saw, but, man, this is a lame movie. The animation is very reminiscent of masters such as Tex Avery, Chuck Jones, and Bob McKimson, the era where cartoons were actually good and funny, does anyone remember that?

Continue reading →

Man-Thing (2005)

Posted on May 15, 2005 by Felix Vasquez

The premise to “Man-Thing” is nonsensical and is mostly comprised of bits of many different subplots that never add up to one fluid plot in a movie. There’s industrialists digging for oil in a swamp somewhere in the South and people are being killed off in the mysterious swamp. A new sheriff comes on-board and begins investigating the murders and discovers an evil force is offing the local residents… and there’s an Indian thrown around the movie somewhere, who knows? What they did drop the ball on was the plot which I found often fascinating.

Continue reading →

Envy (2004)

Posted on May 15, 2005 by Felix Vasquez

Here’s my pitch for a product: A spray that causes really bad movies to vaporize into air. The first victim I’d choose for the spray would be “Envy”. This is a heaping helping pile of excrement. “Envy” is purely and utterly awful and I just don’t know where a plot with such potential, and a cast of great actors could have possibly taken a turn for the worst. Now, if I’m not mistaken, this is a comedy… isn’t it? Or at least it was supposed to be. Well there were Jack Black, Ben Stiller, and Amy Poehler, and yet I didn’t laugh once.

Continue reading →