Mrs. Johnson: Nice erection, Todd.
Todd: Thanks. You too!
Sitting down to watch “Bikini Bloodbath Carwash” made me grin from ear to ear in only the first five minutes as it was clear the directing team of Jonathan Gorman and Thomas Edward Seymour knew what they were doing. There’s no backstory, no complexity, no undertones, it’s just all out ridiculous horror fun, and I loved it. I always say that I don’t mind stupidity as long as there’s some substance behind it, and the sequel to “Bikini Bloodbath” starts out on all the right notes. Two girls we’ve never met get up from bed, dance around in their underwear, one of whom takes a while to put on her top, they dance and jiggle, the directors put up the title in a very creative manner and we see “Written and Directed by Who the Fuck Cares.” I mean… that’s great. It just is. That’s stupid, but it’s stupid as a fox.
It should have been a no-brainer. A Greek myth about a hero being called upon to battle the gods while also fighting with various creatures is a concept begging to be made in to an amazing movie. “Clash of the Titans” is the Harryhausen movie that fans continue to love but also secretly wanted to see remade… only for a curiosity. We wanted to know what it would look like, but we didn’t want it to happen. And then we were given the bright idea by Warner to not only remake the Harryhausen opus but turn it in to a franchise.
The Warner Archives have brought movie buffs of all kinds together to bear witness to the immortal Red Skelton and his “Whistling” trilogy, the 1941 comedy series that brought Skelton together with co-stars like Eve Arden and Virginia Grey. Restored and featured in three separate discs, the “Whistling” collection is ultimately a mixed bag of Skelton comedies that are all fairly flawed with some dated zingers that fall flat on numerous occasions, but when they shine, they manage to draw some genuine laughs thanks to Skelton who is sometimes too goofy to enjoy, and other times seem too funny for the material he’s handed.
See, I understand what the purpose of this prequel is. Before now, Cassie Hack’s origin has only been told in bits and pieces here and there. We know about her mom, we know she became a slasher hunter, and we know somewhere down the road she eventually met Vlad and they paired up to fight evil.