Hack/Slash: My First Maniac #3 of 4

Posted on by

Well up until the third issue, “My First Maniac” was a decent prequel to the Hack/Slash run on the Image tag. While I miss Vlad, and every other supporting character, I’ve been giving Cassie Hack and her first adventure in to the slasher realm a fair chance and this third issue really hasn’t been doing it for me. Mostly where the issue should be mostly about being a slasher throwback it instead takes itself very seriously and doesn’t seem to be having any fun with the concept at all.

I’m still not sure if this is the same Cassie Hack from Devil’s Due, and I’m still trying to figure out the elements of this villain. Not only are the supporting characters so utterly boring and tedious to endure, but Cassie is also having the life sucked out of her by these vapid characters all of whom lack any form of empathy.

Continue reading →

Stan Helsing (2009)

Posted on by

stanhelsinglogoComedy… especially horror comedy, is almost impossible to pull off. As the Wayans brothers can attest to, there’s only so much material to be mined until you’re pretty much just tapping the same old cliches for an audience that has seen it a thousand times over since the eighties. If “Scary Movie” proved anything, it’s that horror spoofs are quickly forgotten and easily aged especially when fads in horror comes and go faster than style in America. By the time “Scary Movie” was released, the whole “Scream” phenomenon was tired thus the Wayans were already three steps behind. “Stan Helsing” is an attempt to combine all the classic tropes while also bringing an actual narrative to the audience. Oddly enough while it’s not a good film by any means, it’s also not the worst spoof ever put to film.

Continue reading →

Anticipating the Bang: Hitchcock – A Slice of Appreciation

Posted on by

One angry father wrote to the brilliant director, saying his daughter had not bathed since viewing a bathtub drowning in the 1954 French film “Les Diaboliques,” and now she was refusing to shower after seeing Janet Leigh’s character slashed to death in “Psycho.” Hitchcock responded, “Send her to the dry cleaners.” – The Secrets of “Psycho’s” Shower Scene, Salon.com

“Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.” – Alfred Hitchcock

My obsession with Hitchcock was not one that blossomed in a split second. As someone exposed to the art of filmmaking and movies as a whole from a very early age, it took much time and patience to come around to appreciating folks like Stanley Kubrick, David Lean, William Wyler and Alfred Hitchcock. As a person who grew up in front of the television watching slasher films and zombie movie, it required some effort to sit down in front of a television screen to soak in the nuances and undertones of “Psycho” that would soon become one of my favorite horror films of all time. As a horror movie it’s without a doubt a keen exploration in the unending madness and reign of terror of a man forever damaged by his mother during and after her death. But as a film it’s so intricately made and so diversely entertaining that it’s almost impossible not to enjoy it. As a piece of horror filmmaking, Hitchcock made a movie that’s the epitome of the convention breaking genre masterpiece.

Continue reading →

Graphic Sexual Horror (2009): Special Edition (DVD)

Posted on by

In spite of what you may think of Brent, the founder of insex.com, the infamous bondage and torture website featuring gorgeous models being bound gagged and drowned, the man was prophetic in his use as the internet to engage users in anonymous guiltless sexual interaction that paved the way for reality shows, thousands of voyeur and fetish websites, and also helped streamline the concept of live feeds as we know it. “Graphic Sexual Horror” is a documentary that’s almost impossible to sit through. While I am someone who is fascinated with the darkest of sexual taboos, founder of insex.com, Brent, is an unabashed lover of S&M, Torture, and bondage, and takes great pride in depicting small filmed sequences involving women being tortured in some of the most horrific ways possible.

Continue reading →

Rock Slyde (2009)

Posted on by

rock-slydeInstantly I knew that “Rock Slyde” was nothing but a wasted effort when main character Rock Slyde declares “Keep and eye on Bart, he’s up to something fishy… kind of like fish.” To where we’re reduced to a scene of Rock and his secretary literally comparing fish to crab. Hey you have to give them credit for trying, but every single person in and behind “Rock Slyde” is a lot like that spider in the tub struggling to keep its head above water and you just know it won’t survive. “Rock Slyde” is basically just a string of nonsensical vastly unfunny jokes, gags, and one-liners all of which seems to have been written from comedy class 101 at the local community center. When in doubt, point out the joke we’ve just seen. When in doubt, drive a pun in to the ground as much as possible until it gets sickening.

Continue reading →

Tekken (2010)

Posted on by

tekken-2010Someone somewhere figured that we as movie lovers and action buffs needed or would have wanted a “Tekken” movie–even if no one asked for it. Because as we are all aware, the “Mortal Kombat,” “Double Dragon,” and “Street Fighter” movies were all so amazing and rich in bone crunching action and sharp cinematic prowess that we just had to have a fifth tier video game franchise with fairly forgettable characters lacking any iconic sensibilities be turned in to action heroes for a potential film franchise. And not surprisingly this isn’t making the rounds in theaters any time soon. Movie websites have reported on this film for a short time and since then the word’s been slim to none on its quality.

Continue reading →

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Digital]

Posted on by

51GxG8HqDFLLike it or not, “Scott Pilgrim” is very representative of the current movement of a hipster generation that’s all about Asian/Canadian heavy pop culture, Diablo Cody, kitsch, classic video games, Michael Cera, Ellen Page, Juno, pseudo-eighties, Moldy Peaches, punk rock, and the like that’s suited for the geeks and freaks of the world and I’ve managed to full embrace it. Generation X is over and gone, and that was a movement I despised more than anything. I happen to love the feel of the modern films that promote the geeky hipster lifestyle with the outrageousness of a new culture that’s not afraid to be wacky or cooler than thou.

Continue reading →