Son of the Mask (2005)

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The Mask 2

I kind of liked “The Mask”. I mean granted, it’s weak, but it’s fun, and for some odd reason we have the sequel and we’re forced to lay our eyes on: “Son of the Mask” based on the compiled works of Arthur Miller–just kidding. Yeah, you can pretty much guess where this lame-brained sequel is going, but I’ll spell it out for you because this plot is extremely esoteric. Yeah, I’m laughing too. Hey, I’m a big movie snob, and I admit it, but this goes beyond snobbery, this film (I use the term loosely) speaks to your common sense.

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Ringu (Ring) (1998)

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japanring4Hideo Nakata influenced many a people, from the directors in Asia whom created all sorts of ghost films deriving from “Ringu’s” element with ghosts that are able to come in to our world through electronic devices, to what’s become the norm for Japanese ghosts: the pale girl with long damp black hair. I’m not as big a fan as others when it comes to Japanese horror, but I appreciate half of what we’re introduced to, and “Ringu” is one of those films I appreciate. I just had to see this, basically since I ended up really liking the remake, “The Ring”. Yes, I’m one of those few who enjoyed it. Either way, Nakata’s direction is something that I found to be the most impressive aspect of “Ringu” because the man knows how to mount tension and then alleviate it with a stunning shot to the arm that works.

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The Company (2003)

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company-2I’ll admit, I approached “The Company” with a closed mind, I mean how interesting could it be to be a professional ballet dancer after all? When I was finished with this, I thought to myself “Boy, was I wrong!”. I mean, I’m a guy, I’ve never seen a ballet, I’ve never met a true ballet dancer, and ballet doesn’t appeal to me, so with Robert Altman’s newest docu-drama, I was hesitant and immensely scared that I was in for a two hour snooze fest, but I was proven wrong. If anything “The Company” shows how surprisingly physically demanding being a ballet dancer can be. Though it’s a pre-requisite with those who enter in to this world, it’s ballsy for the makers here to give the movie going audience a glance in to the world of ballet dancing.

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Peter's Price (2005)

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ppAnd there’s that adage that “The grass is always greener on the other side”, and when you break down that adage in bits and pieces, it’s not a one-liner about envy, it’s basically telling you, misery though we perceive it to be bliss, is still misery. And such is examined in the intelligent and engrossing twenty minute short from director Mitchell L. Cohen who seems to have channeled Richard Linklater down to his essence of simplicity.

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Masters of Horror: Cigarette Burns

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I’ve never understood while watching this entry why anyone would want a film that makes people go violent, and a good film no less. I mean I’ve seen bad films that made me go violent–watch “Gigli” or “Battlefield Earth” and you’ll want to murder someone–but a good film? I don’t know. Either way, that’s the concern for John “As long as I get paid” Carpenter’s entry called “Cigarette Burns”. Norman Reedus plays Kirby, a film aficionado who has been sent by a millionaire (Udo Kier) to search for the infamous film “Le Fin Du Monde”, a film that made a reputation of itself after the first screening caused its audience to riot violently.

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Ghosts of the Abyss (2003)

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MV5BMTU3NjczMzU1OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMjQ5ODU3._V1_SY298_SX485_As if “Titanic” wasn’t worse enough, now we have to go back and re-visit it for what reason? Tell me, Mr. Cameron. He never explains to us why he’s documenting a voyage to the bottom of the sea to look at the Titanic yet again. My theory is that he’s still riding on the success from it so he milked this cow one last time, but what’s the point of this mission? Is someone going to study this and say “Yes, the titanic sure did sink after all, and even better People actually did die!” Well, thanks for reminding me, I wasn’t sure if the the titanic sinking was actually an event that happened in history or if it was fictional like the NASA launch.

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Cold Mountain (2003)

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cold_mountain-001“Cold Mountain” wants to be grand. Oh how Minghella wants it to be a grandiose civil war epic, this generation’s “Gone with the Wind”, but sadly, it will never reach those heights, and throughout the running time it never reached those heights because it is such a short-sighted piece of filmmaking, it could never reach the possible limits that Minghella wanted it to. After viewing this, it was plainly obvious this was so utterly manufactured for Oscar, it was nauseating. But “Cold Mountain” is not underwhelming because of that fact, it’s underwhelming simply because it’s so utterly short-sighted in its stories and characters.

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