People bitch about how video games get a bad rap, but these days so many action movies are built around this concept that make them live action video games. It’s impossible not to hate on video games when so many action movies want to convince us that they really could be if a studio tried hard enough. Take “Redline” a movie thankfully obscure due to a poor release date and terrible publicity, but is really just constructed like a video game. We have cut scenes, colorful characters, bosses, and various drivers all of whom are introduced with profiles and name inserts by heroine Natasha who takes great pains to give us back story without the script ever having to do the work to good old fashioned storytelling.
Tag Archives: Action
Babylon A.D. (2008)
Mathieu Kassovitz’s “Babylon A.D” is a very ambitious science fiction film setting down on a mainly foreign land where depression has hit all countries and crime runs rampant. The best way to sum it up would be Vin Diesel playing Riddick by way of “Children of Men” with a heavy influence of “Escape from New York.” In other words, there’s not much originality in this piece, and it shows. While derivations are a prerequisite these days, you can’t help shake the feeling that 20th Century Fox wanted a more commercial approach to “Children of Men” and that involved dispensing of the thick social commentary and replacing it with a more standard prophesized little girl with amazing powers of mind manipulation.
Video Game Movies That Should Have Rocked
It’s a common rule of nature. Games based on movies always suck, while movies based on games, also always suck. But hey, we know where studios are coming from. If a game is making millions and becoming a pop culture smash, then it’s only fitting a movie would have to be made. The problem is there’s yet to be a good movie that’s been adapted from a great video game. Deny it all you want, but let’s be honest, even “Mortal Kombat,” while cool, just wasn’t faithful to the game. It was PG-13, Shang Tsung was a younger man, and the movie is very cheesy these days.
Like everything pop culture related, fans simply will not be able to agree on an idea for a movie, nor will they all enjoy what the adaptation is, even if by some miracle it happens to be a masterpiece of filmmaking, but these are the movies as they are, and all of them are really bad. In honor of the upcoming “Prince of Persia” and “Street Fighter” adaptations, we’re exploring the slew of bad video game movies, and what we wanted. Hey, we’re not going to pretend you’ve never seen this list before but we just had to get our licks in before the next big screen adaptations on film appears and possibly changes the way we think of video game movies. Hey it could happen. It’s got to happen sooner or later, doesn’t it? And hey, maybe you’ll see a choice here that just may steam you up some.
Let us know what you think and which movies we should have included.
NinjaTown: Adventures of the Wee Ninja Volume 1
“Ninjatown” is almost exactly like Mr. Men, except that the Mr. Men here are all ninjas, and their enemies are Zombie Ninjas and Wee Devil’s, hand shape monsters who invent devious schemes like destroying the Ninjatown with giant Waffles. Si, giant waffles! “Ninjatown” has no dialogue, no story, no arc, and almost no mythos, and I was able to read the entire 46 pages (or volume 1, as it were) in fifteen minutes.
Serenity: The Other Half [Webcomic]
I didn’t want to admit it but… well… “Serenity: Better Days” sucked really badly. I kept insisting to myself that it was just mediocre, but re-reading the issues I can safely say that it sucks. If Whedon and co. were trying to show us what a poor imitation of “Firefly” would look like, then it worked. Thanks Joss. It was so bad I didn’t even finish the final issue. Yeah, that bad. So, along comes “Serenity: The Other Half,” a web exclusive mini comic book following the gang of “Serenity” in the middle of a gorram battle.
DC Superheroes: The Filmation Adventures (DVD)
After many years without an official release, Filmation’s adaptation of DC’s greatest superheroes is finally on DVD with a pristine two disc edition featuring some of the most entertaining adventures of DC’s top tier and second tier characters. Primarily consisting of episodes from the Superman/Aquaman Hour, “DC Superheroes” is broken down in to numerous segment clusters that are comprised of episodes spotlighting the likes of The Atom, The Flash, Green Lantern, the Teen Titans and Hawkman, sadly with Superman only a glaring footnote in the compilation.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles – The Complete First Season (2008) (DVD)
Thank goodness for the writer’s strike, because let’s be honest here: Were it not for 80 percent of the series on primetime television going off the air thanks to a bunch of out of work writers, “The Sarah Connor Chronicles” wouldn’t have stood a chance in the ratings. I mean, come on, let’s look at the ingredients: It’s a serialized version of two very popular movies, the third of which has been lambasted by fans worldwide. It stars a barely memorable actor from “Heroes” as young John Connor, a cult actress from a cancelled television series as a cyborg sent to protect him, and an ad campaign that revolves around Lena Headey, a woman who is only popular with fan boys. Not to mention “The Sarah Connor Chronicles” completely forgets the horrific third installment of “The Terminator” series while also leaving a trail of continuity problems and plot holes in its wake.