Beach Babes From Beyond (1993)

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“Whoa! You’re beach babes from beyond.”
“You bet your ass, man.”

I’m a big fan of David DeCoteau’s early work with Charles Band and Full Moon, but with “Beach Babes from Beyond,” I might have finally found something of his I really dislike. It’s a nineties softcore skin flick (from Band’s softcore label Torchlight Entertainment) that feels like an eighties science fiction comedy. And when I say that it’s softcore, I mean soft. The sex scenes don’t really look like two people have sex so much as they resemble two naked people trying to climb over one another to get in to bed. Not that it matters, since there are only about three sex scenes and they’re not the highlight of the movie, mysteriously.

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Batman: Bad Blood (2016) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]

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Bat people! Bat people! So many Bat people! Back when I was a young lad, there were only two or three Batman oriented characters. Now there is practically a whole legion of masked vigilantes by the time “Bad Blood” comes to a close. Who even needs the Gotham Police Force, anymore? It’s admittedly kind of ridiculous, but also kind of fun to see how many people have been influenced by The Dark Knight to keep going forward and fighting crime. Gotham needs as much as help as it can get, obviously, so why not have a Batgirl, a Batwoman, a Nightwing, and a Batwing, amiright?

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Bear Story (Historia de un oso) (2015)

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Gabriel Osorio and Pato Escala’s “Bear Story” is a soul crushing tale of loss and yet a pretty remarkable short about overcoming grief and finding a reason to keep going on. Lacking dialogue and told through excellent computer animation, “Bear Story” is a short and hear breaking tale of an old bear that spends most of his time fixing an old nickelodeon. Featuring a trio of bear dolls that stand in for his wife and son, he takes to the street one morning. Unfortunately, his is a tale of sadness, suffering, and the willingness to endure, as he opens up his theater for a young cub.

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B.C. Butcher (2016)

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Director Kim Bowling’s “B.C. Butcher” wears its self awareness and cheap budget on its sleeve, and doesn’t seem to care that it’s a bare minimum production. For folks that appreciate the kind of low budget schlock director Bowling practices, “B.C. Butcher” might serve as a fun diversion with a mercifully short run time. There aren’t many slasher revenge films set in the prehistoric era, and “B.C. Butcher” drives that concept home with some fun gore, slick kills, and a fun villain who also happens to be a caveman.

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Backcountry (2015) [Blu-Ray]

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“Backcountry” is not “Jaws” so much as it is “Open Water” set in the woods. It’s more of an unsettling survival drama centered on a young couple, both of whom bite off too much when they venture into the wilderness. As with most survival dramas, director Adam MacDonald begins the film on an more serene albeit unsettling note and, much in the vein of “Frozen,” begins setting up a lot of mistakes our characters make that will come back to haunt them much later on. Mainly, “Backcountry” is a slow boil where Jenn and Alex find themselves slipping up at every turn and can never seem to take a hint on looming danger.

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The Brain that Wouldn’t Die (1962) [Blu-Ray]

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Ah blatant proud misogyny, you truly are something to watch. Never has there been such a misogynistic and anti-woman film as “The Brain that Wouldn’t Die,” the movie that ponder how hard it is to find the right body for your dismembered wife’s head. How does a severed head talk without lungs? Uh—science! I’d definitely call “The Brain that Wouldn’t Die” a bad movie, but only because it’s so painfully up front about its attitude toward women, I had a tough time through most of it.

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The Breakfast Club (1985)

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John Hughes’ iconic eighties drama has always remained a timeless favorite for me. It’s not just because he manages to speak to the teenage condition, but the human condition. Surely, “The Breakfast Club” still manages to speak waves about how teenagers lived back in the eighties, and how they still live today, but “The Breakfast Club” had something to say about being an adult and how the lessons we learned as a teenager would carry us in to adulthood, for better and for worse. The characters we meet in “The Breakfast Club” essentially find common ground in the way they approach life, and think about themselves, but when we part from them we never quite know where they’re headed.

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